| Joe Bless You; #4 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 27 2008, 07:23 AM (267 Views) | |
| Frank James | Jun 27 2008, 07:23 AM Post #1 |
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sVo Contender
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![]() We fade in to find Frank and Rick speeding down the road in their, near-totaled, AMC Gremlin. As the car passes us we cut to a shot inside. Frank is driving the car with one hand while scratching his beard with the other. He reaches into his pocket and looks over at Rick, who is asleep. After pulling out a pack of cigarettes, and lighting the last one, Frank throws the empty pack off Rick’s head. Rick slowly reaches up and begins rubbing his forehead. Narrator ’Rick had trusted Frank with getting them to Toronto, and keeping him awake, since he felt he suffered a concussion in their car accident … Frank did neither.’ Frank ’It’s about time you got up. We’re about an hour outside Tennessee.’ Rick ’How long was I sleeping?’ Frank ’About eight hours.’ Rick ’…alright.’ Rick repositions himself in his seat and begins getting comfortable again. He starts to falls asleep but then quickly jumps back up. Rick ’Wait, what did you just say?’ Frank ’About eight hours.’ Rick ’No, the first thing.’ Frank ’It’s about time you get up.’ Rick shakes his head. Rick ’In between those two.’ Frank pauses for several seconds and scratches his beard. Frank ’Ah, we’re almost in Tennessee.’ Rick ’… you mean Toronto right?’ Frank ’Why would we go to Toronto?’ Rick ’… for your match.’ Frank pauses for several seconds and looks at Rick like he’s crazy. Frank ’Ah yeah OK, I remember that.’ Narrator ’He didn’t.’ Frank ’So …’ Frank grabs a map off the dashboard and starts studying it. He flips it around a few times then looks at Rick. Frank ’… Toronto is which way?’ Rick groans loudly trying to hold in a scream, and then closes his eyes. Rick ’Just pull off at the next exit and we’ll figure it out.’ Frank ’Alright.’ After looking out the window for a few seconds, Rick seems to get an idea. He lifts his foot up and pulls a folded up piece of paper out of his boot. Rick ’I almost forgot about these. I got some notes.’ Frank ’For?’ Rick ’Your match.’ Frank ’You got notes? Notes!? What happened to the good old days Ricky? We used to show up, I’d smack a few people in the mouth and we’d head to the bar. Now we need notes?’ Rick ’Well, you’re not the athlete you u …’ Before Rick can finish Frank reaches out and grabs him by the neck. Frank looks over at Rick, for only a second, and then releases the choke, but snatches the piece of paper out of his hand. Rick ’Come on Frank I worked hard on those.’ Narrator ’He hadn’t. Rick intended to take notes on Frank’s opponents, but got sidetracked.’ We cut to a shot of Rick slumped back in a chair sleeping. We see that he is sitting at a computer but cannot see what is on the screen. On the right side of his desk we see a stack of unopened sVo DVDs … on the left a wad of used kleenex. After a few seconds Rick snaps out of his deep sleep and appears to be very flustered. He looks up at the clock on the wall and after seeing the time, quickly grabs a piece of paper and a pen. He clicks the mouse a few times and after scribbling something on a piece of paper he closes his trench coat and runs out the door. We cut back to the car and find Frank smiling as he tosses Rick’s notes out the window. Frank ’We don’t need notes. I got all the notes I need up here, and right here.’ Frank points to his head and his heart respectively. Rick looks over at Frank and a smirk comes across his face as one of his eyebrows raises. He turns his head towards the window and speaks under his breath. Rick ’How corny was that?’ Frank ’What’s that!?’ Rick ’Nothing. Oh hey there’s the exit.’ Frank ’Rick, please don’t make me kill you. If I kill you then I have to kill the camera guy, then I have to go buy a shovel, then I have to dig two holes, and it’ll all be just one big headac … but then I could sell that camera …’ After pulling off at the exit, Frank turns around and begins eyeing up the camera. The camera man begins squirming in the back seat trying to get as far away from Frank as possible. Frank ’I’m just admiring the shape of your skull.’ Frank smiles and turns back around. Frank ’Ah, I love that movie. Ya know Rick I’ve probably seen …’ Rick ’I know I know you’ve seen it a million times, and it gets better every time. It’s the best movie ever. Blah, blah blah. Frank jams on the breaks, and stares at Rick. Rick slides over in his seat and presses his back against the passenger door. Rick ’Please Frank …I’m sorry. It must be uh … the car accident man. I’m messed up.’ Frank ’That’s hardly an excuse to insult the greatest movie ever created.’ Frank looks back at the road and begins to drive again, but stops after only a few feet. Frank ’Ya know I bet falling asleep after that concussion is what messed you up. I always heard you were supposed to make sure you had a reliable friend wake you up every few hours after a concussion.’ Ricks eyes open wide and he begins looking around the car in amazement. Rick ’I told you to keep me up!’ Frank ’Are you yelling at me now?’ Frank reaches out and grabs Rick by the collar of his trench coat. As Frank begins shaking Rick their car careens towards the curb. As the wheels bump up on the curb we hear a loud pop. Frank quickly grabs the wheel and jams on the breaks. The car skids several feet and comes to a stop after just barely touching a telephone pole. Frank immediately tries to get out of the car, but the driver’s side door is still jammed, so he just slams his shoulder into the door. After biting his tongue and muttering to himself he looks over at Rick. Frank ’Get out of the car Rick.’ Rick flings his door open and hops out of the car quickly. He is followed closely by Frank who walks to the front of the car and looks up at the telephone pole. Frank ’Well I don’t know if you could technically say we crashed into this one. It kind of just brought us to a stop.’ Rick ’Yeah I don’t think it qualifies as …’ Frank ’SHUT UP! Just come up with a backup plan … cause I doubt that piece of shit has a spare tire.’ Rick ’I had a backup plan … and you crashed it into a …’ Frank ’The way I remember it you were getting all teary eyed and shit and you crashed …’ Rick ’That was plan C … you crashed plan B.’ Frank ’Now you’re just getting into semantics’ Rick throws his hands up in frustration and begins walking down the road. He eventually reaches into his pocket and pulls out an IPhone. The second Frank sees it he begins following Rick. Frank ’How did you afford that?’ Rick ’Uh … I won it.’ Narrator ’He didn’t. Rick had actually embezzled the money he invested in his last movie, to buy various gadgets and toys.’ We cut to a scene of Rick holding a small pink teapot. As we pan out we see Rick has a children’s table set up with several small chairs. In each chair is a different Barbie doll. Rick pours imaginary tea for each Barbie before curtseying. We then cut back to the street where we find Rick continuing to walk away from Frank, who is trying to get his hands on the phone. Frank ’Let me see. Let me see. Let me see.’ Rick ’You can break it in a minute … just let me figure out how we can get to Toronto.’ Frank and Rick continue walking down the road as Rick continues to scroll around on his IPhone. Rick ’Well, it looks like we can sit on busses for then next 2 days and we’ll just make it in time for the show.’ Frank ’Do they serve alcohol on the bus?’ Rick ’Probably not, but we have a nine mile walk to the bus station so I’m sure we can stop for some along the way.’ Frank ’… hey look at you … not arguing with me for a change.’ Rick ’I don’t have the energy.’ Frank ’Can I see the phone?’ Rick ’No we’re going to have to sell it to get pay for the tickets.’ Frank ’… I’m bored.’ Frank is kicking a large rock down the street, as he and Rick continue on. Frank ’How long have we been walking?’ Rick ’I don’t know … two minutes?’ Frank sighs loudly and continues kicking the rock. Frank ’Hey where are those notes you had? I’m sure I can kill ten minutes making fun of your research.’ Rick ’You threw them out the window.’ Frank laughs. Frank ’Ah yeah that’s right. Shit that was funny.’ Rick ’Oh yeah it was a fuckin laugh riot.’ Frank hustles to catch up to Rick and smacks him in the back of the head. He tries to snatch the phone but Rick is able to keep it away from him. Frank ’You’re lucky you’re only getting one. Now, make with those notes.’ Rick ’I just told you, you threw them out the window.’ Frank ’Yeah, but you have to remember something from all that research.’ A smile comes across Rick’s face. Narrator ’He did.’ A censored clip of an Eva Angelina movie plays. We then cut back to Rick, who is still smiling. Rick ’Yeah …’ Frank ’Well …?’ Rick ’Oh about the match, no I don’t remember anything. I can go to the website though.’ Frank ’Let me see.’ Frank tries to get closer to Rick, but Rick begins jogging to keep the distance. Rick ’OK so like I said it’s a battle royal … you and 9 other men … err ... I guess eight men and a woman.’ Frank ’… you booked me in a match with a broad?’ Rick ’I didn’t know who was going to be in the match.’ Frank ’Is she hot?’ Rick ’Yeah I think you’d like her. Name makes her sound like a cunt though. No way Faith Winchester can be any fun.’ Frank ’Yeah she sounds rich though. If the thought of losing to a woman didn’t make me suicidal I’d consider taking some cash to eliminate myself.’ Rick continues scrolling along on his IPhone. Rick ’Then there's TJ Raven, Kaden Alonzo, Tal ….’ Frank ’Another girl?’ Rick ’No, there’s just the one.’ Frank ’Didn’t you just say Kaden?’ Rick ’Yeah that’s a guy.’ Frank raises an eyebrow and looks at Rick. Frank ’... that's a girl's name.' Rick ’I know, but it's a guy. Unless they have the wrong picture here.’ Frank shakes his head. Frank ’Alright then we can cross two of them off this list. I don’t think a guy with a girls name is going to put up much of a fight.’ Rick ’Alright then it’s uh … Talon. I think that’s how you can say it. Talon.’ Frank ’Like … “Do the chicken’s have large talons” … Talon? Rick ’That’s how I read it.’ Frank ’Alright so we have a C, girl’s name, and Napoleon.’ Frank sighs loudly. Frank ’Yeah I’m bored with this. How long have we been walking?’ Rick ’Maybe five minutes.’ Frank hangs his head, but it pops back up seconds later. Frank ’I have an idea.’ Frank drops to his knees, folds his hands, and begins he begins to pray. Rick ’What are you doing?’ Frank waves Rick off and continues praying. Rick throws his hands up in frustration, and then begins walking down the road again while dialing his IPhone. After almost a minute of praying Frank stands up and then walks quickly to catch up with Rick, who is just putting his IPhone back in his pocket. Rick ’What was that about?’ Frank ’Ah just a little something I learned from a documentary.’ Narrator ’It was actually a comedy special.’ Rick ’You watched a documentary?’ Frank ’Oh yeah it was great. This guy was calling everyone a cocksucker and talking about how little kids suck, and …’ Frank is cut off by the sound of a car horn. Rick ’That was fast.’ Voice 'Yeah I was right around the corner' As the camera pans back we see a taxi cab has pulled up behind Frank and Rick, and that the voice belongs to it's driver. Frank looks over at Rick, smiles, and smacks him on the back. Frank ’Look Ricky it worked! I prayed and it worked ... just like he said it would!’ Rick ’I thought you didn't believe in God?’ Frank's smile grows as he and Rick get in the back of the cab. Frank ’Who needs God? ... I prayed to Joe Pesci.' Rick looks at Frank like he’s crazy as the cab pulls off down the street and we fade to black. Narrator ’Next time ...' We cut to a shot of the inside of a bus station. There is a long line of people waiting to get tickets, and we find Frank and Rick in the front of that line. Rick 'Look we need to get on this bus. Just give me a hundred for it.' Cashier 'Look, like I said ... I only have Fifty.' Frank 'Let me handle this Rick. Eighty dollars, and that our final offer.' Cashier '... fifty.' Frank '... Sixty.' Cashier 'Forty.' Frank 'Sold.' Frank reaches out and shakes the cashier's hand, as he looks over and smiles at Rick, who is visibly pissed. |
| Worse than TJ Raven. | |
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12:26 AM Jul 11