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'The Wally Grant Show'; rp 2 showdown
Topic Started: Jun 14 2008, 03:27 PM (39 Views)
Alex Ross
The Perfect 10
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Popular television broadcast is much different than it was in the old days. Late night programming, especially shows like Jay Leno's and David Letterman's are something that people aren't that interested in anymore. The wee-hours of the night are now filled with paid advertisements for Girls Gone Wild and Worship CD packages. There is one talk show, however, that has taken the spotlight and is putting late night television on the map. 'The Wally Grant Show' is hosted by Wally Grant, a host comparable in his mannerisms to a love-child born of Carrot Top and Conan O'Brien, without the extremely red hair that would result from that combination. He interviews today's hottest up and coming stars and oddities. The show is split just like that, two oddities first and two stars second, but each guest remains on stage for the remainder of the show. Alex Ross has been invited to the show as the first interview for the stars portion of the show.

There is a long white desk in the middle of the stage. The top of the desk is covered with piles and piles of children's toys; action figures, toy trucks, Barbies, etc. A pivotal chair behind the desk swings around and a squirrelly looking man with spiked blonde hair and thick black rimmed glasses is sitting in it. He slams his hands down on the desk to stop the chair in mid-spin and he puts on a very wide, white smile. Filling one of the many seats beside the desk is a man of African decent with over 1000 piercings on his body. Next to this man sits a stocky old man wearing a bowler cap.


Grant: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, we're here with Umak, the "man of many piercings", and with my English friend Gerald Fisk, who of course is a ventriloquist, but has recently used his talents to speak in a loud, echoed "voice of God".

Now that we've got our oddities out here, its about time that we move on the to big names, our stars. Our main attraction here on 'The Wally Grant Show' is former host of the MTV hit "PUNK'd" and husband to Demi Moore, ASHTON KUTCHER. But first, we have a very special guest here tonight, flew from Brazil where he will be flying BACK to again after the show, featured in Sanction Violence Organization's "Countdown to Violence" as a main event competitor for the World Title... Alex Ross!


A spotlight shines over to a curtain across the stage in front of the live studio audience. Alex Ross pops out of the drapery smiling and gets a small pop. Some don't know who he is, those who do, generally don't like him. He ignores the lack of enthusiasm from the audience and takes a seat next to the man in the bowler cap.

Grant: Awesome to have you here, Alex. Please, yes, sit down.

Ross: Thanks for having me, Wally.

Grant: So how about that flight to New York?

Ross: Sh*t man, too long. But like you said, I have to fly back for Showdown Sunday night right after the show.

Grant: Generally we frown upon that language, Mr. Ross, but we've heard that you're a rule breaker, so don't worry, we already had our editing team handy.

Ross: Yeah, sorry about that.

Grant: Okay... So let's start off clearing up who you are to those who may not be so familiar with the sVo.

Ross: Well, Wally, if anyone here doesn't know who I am, I consider it their loss. They must be living under a rock, though. I'm all over. I'm the best at what I do and they should all know it.

Grant: But Mr. Ross, what I'm asking is what do you do?

Ross: I'm professional wrestler.

Grant: And what made you become one?

Ross: Nothing made me become one, I was born a wrestler. I'm the 'Perfect Ten', baby.

Grant: Alright, so you're a professional wrestler... One of the highest ranked in your federation there, and on June 29th in Toronto, you will be facing the World Champion Psyko Stevo for a chance at his title. How do you feel about that match?

Ross: I feel confidant that I am going to put an end to Psyko Stevo's reign. He's nothing compared to me.

Grant: And you have a match this week, against... Lemme see... Mad Max, I think his name is. What do you think about this guy?

Ross: The man is a disgrace to our company, a no-talent slob. We're collecting combs and beard trimmers in charity for him, though. You should find a box at your local Salvation Army to which you may donate.

Grant: What a bold individual you are, Mr. Ross. Going onto live television and saying this stuff... God, I love it.

Voice of God: I think it's quite disgusting that a man of my creation would joke about such a person.

Ross: *looking at the man in the bowler* Hush, Britfag.

Grant: Alright, Alex. It seems as though this has to get toned down a little... Please.

Ross: Well keep Queen Elizabeth over here from interrupting my interview then.

Grant: Gerald? Please?

The man in the bowler nods.

Grant: Okay, well as discriminatory and rude as this man next to me may seem, folks... He is actually quite the humanist. Soon to be released online is a documentary, hosted by this man, Alex Ross, about the lives that homeless people live. What got you interested in this, Mr. Ross?

Ross: Actually, it was a most unsuspected event that popped up in front of my friend Talon and I. We were headed to a club when we heard some shouting. We followed the sound and there is was, a bum fight. We saw the way these men battled for food and money and it fascinated me. Not only was it completely ironic to my match this week against the dirtiest player in the game, quite literally, but we also got a glimpse at someone else's side of the world, you know? So we just want to show people how others are living when we go day after day with everything we need.

Grant: Alright, well let's get to showing a clip, the very beginning of the documentary titled what?

Ross: "Investigation of the Homeless Lifestyle".

Grant: Very original. Let's roll it.

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CLIP

Voice over: Quite often people find themselves sucked into the media attention toward celebrity lifestyles and the things that famous people do when they aren't exactly 'on duty'. They get caught up in other people's lives and tend to ignore the rest of the world and its suffering. Today we take a glance down to the bottom of the ladder, for once. It's a worldwide issue as more and more people wander the streets without a home every day. Do we truly understand how these people live? It's about time that we find out.

Alex Ross will go beyond his place as number one contender for the World Title in the sVo and take on a much more sophisticated role... social and cultural investigator in "Investigation of the Homeless Lifestyle". Now join us as we venture into an urban nightmare.


This part of the city is dark, the street lights only give off a faint yellowish tint and one of them flickers periodically. It's the kind of place you don't walk through alone. The kind of place where you could never get help if you needed it, not in a timely fashion, anyway. All of the buildings are red brick, but one only looks at the back of buildings from this location. It's deep through an alley, almost like an air bubble between buildings. Not much is around, aside from a burn barrel and a torn up old couch. Alex Ross walks on camera wearing khaki shorts and a red t-shirt. Over his shoulders are two straps from an enormous survival-styled backpack. He flicks his hair back and turns to the camera.

Ross: I'm glad that you viewers were able to make it back here safely. You're a little late, I was worried. You see, this is a very dangerous place that we are going to be studying today. People here are desperate for money. People here are hungry. People here... are violent. The nature of the beast quite frequently referred to as the "bum", which scientifically is called homelessius laziness, is to fight for what they want. This specific breed of homosapien knows no other way to accomplish in the world, so it uses its pain and anger to force its way through survival. Could one simply get a job? Yes. But you must understand, after so long being cut off from the civilized world, your mind can be warped. Bipolar-disorder schizophrenia is very common in the bum population. Many describe voices in their minds, others blame society for their downfall. It is really all one big paranoid lie to keep the blame off of themselves, to avoid admitting that they are a failure and their families, if alive, probably don't love them anymore.

We will continue on here to find the natural habitat of one they call "Mad Max". Mad Max lives under a false sense of importance, thinking that it contributes something to the food chain. It travels in a group known as a Bad Religion. These groups tend to be violent with little reason, but are of little threat. Their bark, of sorts, is worse than their bite. Let us turn the corner and see if we can get a good shot of him.


Alex Ross guides the camera around an alleyway corner to see a silhouette of a beastly man by a canned-fire. The man's head snaps toward the camera and upon sight, he bolts. Alex Ross and the camera chase after him.

Ross: *winded while running* Looks like he's going to put up a little bit of a fight! You see, the Mad Max is very quick when it comes to running away. It routes from his dependence on his Bad Religion, which obviously will not be here to save him. Without the group, he is nothing, which can be applied to every member of a Bad Religion. Strength in numbers, which in their case, is about 27. Eventually if you get together with enough of the other specimen, there is nothing left to attack you.

As Alex Ross chases the supposed "Mad Max" through the alley, the homeless person knocks over boxes and crates in front of him as obstacles.

Ross: Oh, this is getting good. You see, because this Mad Max is on his own, he is resorting to using weapons... They refer to this defense system as "hardcore", one of the more cowardly defense tactics in nature. He will continue to use weapons until the end, when there is no longer a chance for his survival...

-------------------------------------

The tape cuts and we go back to the talk show scene.

Grant: Didn't we review this crap? Who is responsible for this? WHY DIDN'T WE CUT THIS OFF SOONER? I'm sorry, folks, viewers... This is disgusting, I can't believe we have this guy on our show. Alex Ross, I ask that you leave right now, please.

Two security guards walk over to Alex Ross, who is laughing to himself uncontrollably at the prank against Mad Max, and remove him from his seat. He is dragged offstage and the host turns red, embarrassed.

Grant: Up next we have Ashton Kutcher, with a shortened interview because of our complications. Come on out, Ashton.

The curtain opens with a spotlight and there he is, Ashton Kutcher. He wanders over to the now empty seat of Alex Ross and sits down.

Grant: Thanks for sticking with us, Ashton. It's nice to have you here.

Ashton: It's good to be here, Wally. I'm just glad that louse Ross is gone... As many people know, I work with Chrysalis, a Los Angeles-based organization that helps homeless men and women find jobs and homes. As a humanist, I think his actions were...

We fade to black as Ashton continues on ranting about human rights and all of that hippy shit. Surely, Alex Ross will have some sort of public reaction from his actions tonight, stay tuned to find out what happens next.
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