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Mint Mojito Flavored Orbitz Gum!; RP 1
Topic Started: May 17 2008, 03:16 PM (145 Views)
Bond
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The following promo is supposed to include the words "Berries and Cream Starbursts" but before submitting this promo, I recieved word from my legal department that it may be stepping on some toes to basically rip of the greatest commercial ever. So I changed the topic candy of choice to the awesomely new Mint Mojito flavored gum by Orbitz. Enjoy. :)
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[Suddenly the sVo is taken to a train station. It’s really just a normal looking train station. Perhaps, it’s got really nice vending machines and a decent coffee bar, but other than that, it’s really just made of bricks and steel. You know a typical train station. As the view is taken through the massive glass doors, down the marble staircase into the massive lobby, we take a sudden detour, and out we go, landing squarely in front of terminal C3. Standing against the wall is Chris Bond and Gunner Lang. Bond’s decked out in traditional garb, white suit jacket, white thin tie, black under shirt and trousers, and of course, a decent pair of shiny black shoes. He’s just chilling. I mean, he could have just finished a cigarette, but to be honest, Bond’s not much of a smoker, and there were no butts at the scene. So really, all he was doing… was chilling. Gunner Lang however was standing there strummin’ an air guitar and jamming out to “Gunner-Struck”. It’s really a catchy song.]

Bond: “You tried this new Mint Mojito Orbitz gum?”

[Suddenly a small midget/gimp person comes into view. He’s dressed strangely familiar, like a cross between Alex Ross and Kelly Flawless. He’s got Ross’s neck brace, and ironically, there is a corpse wrapped around the waist of the small being. Basically if the two got drunk off of Appletinis and had awkward gay sex and made a lovechild, that’s what this poor fellow would look like. Except he’s not half man/half monkey, and he’s got decent teeth.]

Ross/Flawless Love Child: “Pardon me, what kind of Orbitz gum did you just say?”

[Lang looks at the freak of nature.]

Lang: “Mint…”

[The abomination to all that is holy looks at them both.]

Ross/Flawless Love Child: “Mint? Mint and what else?”

[Bond begins to speak…]

Bond: “Mint Mojito… like the rum based drink?”

[Suddenly the half Ross/half Flawless love child/freak of nature/abomination to all that is good in the world lets out a weird ass giggle so bone chilling, that it bears not repeating… But after he has taken the souls of the children, the midget monster cocks his head to the one side and starts jumping up and down, dancing…]

Ross/Flawless Love Child: “MINT MOJITO! MINT MOJITO! I’M A LITTLE LAD WHO LOVES MINT MOJITO FLAVORED ORBITZ GUM!”

[Suddenly the little freak of nature begins to clap his hands too. Bond and Lang scoot back, trying to disappear, yet they still understand they’re standing against a wall.]

Ross/Flawless Love Child: “MINT MOJITO! MINT MOJITO! I’M A LITTLE LAD WHO LOVES MINNNNNNNT MOJITTTTTTTTTTTTO FLAVORED ORBITZ GUUUUUUUUUUUM!”

[Suddenly, out of nowhere, a baseball bat comes down right atop the skull of the little midget Minotaur. But, a metal baseball does not follow suit, and no, TJS is not anywhere in site. The freak goes down like Mike Polowy’s mother at a Van Halen concert.]

Bond: “Alex Ross. Kelly Flawless. Consider this a warning. The games are over.”

[Bond looks over at Lang, as he drops the handle of the bat.]

Lang: “Yeah…. ‘Cause that’s how we rock and roll… bitches!”

[Bond kicks the little freak as he and Lang suddenly run off, as if they were purposely standing in the train station to film a bogus promo. The screen suddenly flashes to static, and then turns to bright white.]
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