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Wake Me Up... Before You Go-go--[d3]
Topic Started: Mar 29 2008, 03:51 PM (286 Views)
Bond
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I sit there. Overstuffed. Dante’s Dive may look like shit but to be honest, their food is off the hook. I look across the table and Gunner continues to stuff food into his mouth. Bacon. Eggs. Sausages and oatmeal. It’s a little disturbing. The dude’s been eating like that for like a half hour now. I had trouble stuffing my breakfast casserole and hash browns down. Amazing.

“So, did you see the fallout from my appearance on the ‘Wang Chat Tonight’ last night? They said I had one of the higher rated appearances but my jokes mano… my jokes killed.”

He laughed and asked if they were that good. Pfft, apparently he hadn’t seen the show.

“No. By killing I mean people sat there and I died. Nobody really listened to what I had to say… all they could think of was how lame-o I was. Dude, not only am I in some serious trouble at Destiny… I’m not allowed back at the sVo’s lowest rated interactive chat show. I think it’s time for a wake-up call.”

I sit back, arms folded. Gunner continues to eat, and once he has shoveled a final pancake—something I hadn’t even noticed—into his pie hole, he stares at me and says something that sounded like ‘Lighten up dude, we’ve got our training scheduled, we’ve got gambling to do, we’re fine. I’m fine. You’re fine.’ I just nod. Maybe he was right.

“Maybe you’re right Gunner man, but you didn’t read what MillanoCookie wrote. He was cruel, he was mean… It was like Kerry Millano was the guy behind the douche bag.”

We both look at each other. Then we proceed to laugh our asses off. In fact, there was a point where my side was hurting and I was in tears. The customers at the Dive looked around at us. I stop laughing and look at Gunner Lang.

“Nah. He wouldn’t have been that lame. That’s totally like roleplaying as your favorite wrestler and pretending to be them… live their life, become the character. I mean. C’mon. It’s not like we’d ever do that.”

The look on Gunners face was priceless. His eyes bugged out, his facial expression appeared to have been pulled—one person on each side of his mouth grabbing and yanking to one side. I just shrug it off.

“Are you done yet? We’ve got training to do. Millano isn’t going to kick his own ass.”

He chuckles and said ‘Yeah.’ I stood up, put a tip on the table and walked to my car. Gunner was last out, and he was carrying a plastic bag.

“Dude. You just ate enough to tide over an Elephant. What the hell do you have there?”

He looked at me and calmly stated “Lunch.” I rolled my eyes and looked up. Although it looked sunny, the clouds were beginning to roll in. I could tell we were going to get some rain. And Gunner rode his bike.

“Dude mano, you’re gonna get soaked. Why don’t we drop your bike off at your place and I’ll drive today?”

He looks at me, looks at the sky and agrees. So we each hop into our vehicles—his a classic motorcycle; Me? Oh… I don’t know… only the coolest car ever made! A Mini-Cooper. Yeah. Suddenly my phone rings. I look down, swerve, and a passing car honks their horn at me. It’s JD!

“JD! What’s crack-a-lackin’ mano?”

I stare at the road. JD tells me that I’ve been taken off of the return guests list from ‘Wang Chat Tonight’… like I didn’t already know that. He then proceeds to tell me it’s for the better. That show was crap anyways… especially if they let people like MillanoCookie and that freaky-ass fan of Peter Gilmour into in the chat room. I nod.

“You may be right JD… but to be honest, I’m not so sure that I’ve gotten myself in over my head. I haven’t had an actual wrestling match since December. That was against Mike Polowy sure… but…”

He stops me there. He asks me the outcome of the match.

“I beat him… but…”

He stops me again. He tells me I beat Mike Polowy when people like Johnny All-Star or Spring-Heeled Jack couldn’t. Sure, it wasn’t on sVo television—but for Christ’s sake… it was still a highly publicized match—and it was still a defeat on Mike Polowy.

“Maybe you are right JD. But Kerry Millano isn’t like Mike Polowy. Sure Mike was amazing. He was able to captivate the audience and have them eating out of his paw—but Polowy had a basic set of moves and this Millano fellow, well, he can come at you from nowhere. I’ve been watching some of his older matches, and the dude was on fire. Sure, he’s a little slower now—but that’s just the booze. If he comes to Destiny sober, I’m fucked.”

He stops me for a final time. He asks me what kind of a man gives up and keeps telling himself he’s a bowl of shit? Huh? This pep-talk is working because I’m beginning to get fired up. He asks me if I was just going to lie down or have Millano hit me before I gave up at Destiny. I couldn’t believe he was talking to his client like this. More importantly, I can’t believe I’m paying to be talked to like this. He asks me if I wanted to wear the panties in the relationship… that way Gunner could keep his ass-less chaps?

“Okay JD! I get it. No need to be rude. Millano isn’t that great. He’s flawed… and he’s human. He may not be as flawed as others… but damn it, he’s not God. He’s nowhere near the caliber of greats like Ric Flair or Dusty Rhodes. I can handle this mano. I’ve got it in the bag. Millano’s not as tough as I thought. I’ll kick his ass… then mop the ring with his knocked-out carcass! Haha! I’ll be able to bitch slap him and ask him if he’d like me to call him ‘Suzie’ the next time I hit him that hard. I’ll be able to…”

The bastard cut me off again. He said don’t underestimate him now. Admit he’s talented… but don’t keep telling people you’re in over your head. He’s not God—remember that. He tells me he’s gotta go.

“Alright JD. Thanks for the pep man. I really needed it. Yeah, see you later tonight for our appearance at GoodFella’s.”

I hang my phone up and realize I’ve been at Gunners for a while now and that he’s been standing outside pounding on my window. I feel like a dork and hit the unlock button. He gets in and tosses his duffle bag to the back and begins to chomp on some ‘lunch’. I look over at him.

“Dude… you just ate like twenty minutes ago. How the hell do you do it?”

He says that they’re just really good cooks. He then asks me who I was talking to.

“Our cheerleader JD. He was telling me to quit saying that I was going to lose to Kerry Millano. He was flawed… and he’ll be the one on his back at Destiny—not me. You know, that old chestnut.”

He nods and tosses a rib bone out the window. He tells me it’s true. Millano’s good… but I am five times the man Millano is on his soberest day. He tells me heard a rumor that Millano was grounded last night because his girlfriend found lipstick on a pair of pants.

“Dude, that’s stupid. Millano’s an ass… but I doubt he’d fuck over someone that’s helped him out that much. Especially by screwing the one who usually screws him, if you catch my drift. Where did you hear that from?”

He tells me it’s been going around backstage. I just shrug.

“So. What do you think? Weights? Cardio? Sparing?”

He sits back and tosses a few more rib bones out the window. A wet nap is out and he wipes his fingers off. He tells me something to the extent that needs a nap first… a small joke… and that he’s fine doing whatever.

“Listen. I understand I may have sounded like a pushover this past week. Especially since I was the one who challenged him. But honestly, I’m back. The old Bond. Not this new guy who’s been acting like some little bitch. This isn’t my first match. I can handle this. I’ve faced tougher opponents than him and I’ve lost to better men. Kerry Millano isn’t that great… and it’s about time someone put his ass in check… perhaps, Reality Check. It’s time for Millano to realize that he’s not the best thing since sliced bagels… and that to be honest, he’s not even on my level at the moment. So when we step into the ring at Destiny… he’ll find out why I am the ‘Mr. Reality’ when his delusional world gets flip-turned upside down… and I walk out the victor. It’s about time that chump gets put in his place… and when he realizes that’s he not such a badass… the world will become a much better place. And you can bank on that… because play time is over… and I’m back baby!”

I smile, crank the radio up loud and speed off down the road, only to turn it down quickly when I look over and realize Lang’s out like a light, and that the speed limit was only forty-five. I quietly head on down the road thinking of a decent game plan that I can use against the Career Killer. I’m glad I’m back…

“It’s time to show the sVo what I already know. I’ve been awake. Too bad Millano’s stuck in some dream warp.”
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ATH: Reaper Edition I & II - Winner

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