| Rex, You Still Enjoying Sausage?; unfortunately, my zipper is stuck. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 20 2008, 01:45 AM (332 Views) | |
| joseph_peyton | Feb 20 2008, 01:45 AM Post #1 |
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International Division
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The scene begins… Now Joseph Peyton for the most part is wearing his typical wrestling attire, his tight black Diesel jeans and the spiked hair he’s sporting. The difference however is his newly designed sVo T-shirt that is premiering offically, right now. The front has the nighttime scenery of Downtown Las Vegas and on the back, it reads, “Peyton’s Sin City”. The camera is directly at Peyton, who is sitting at his antique table with a fresh cup of Starbucks coffee. He is at his new Las Vegas home and is sitting with a very small individual. The unknown person is currently wearing a hood to cover his/her appearance. Joseph Peyton: Welcome, Viewers! You must be wondering why I decided to invite you over to my casa? Right? Well, it’s because I wanted to show you all something that would have remained a secret. A scene that will shock many of you… Prepare yourself! Because El Gimicko isn’t absent from the sVo scene. In fact he is still in Las Vegas representing a new gimmick. Don’t believe me? Than look puto! He’s currently outside gardening my fucking yard! Peyton bursts into laughs Joseph Peyton: Haha, You stupid motherfuckers, you didn’t buy that one… did you? The truth is I invited you over because I would like to publicly introduce to you, one of the greatest individuals to ever walk this earth. In fact, he’s been walking this earth for a very long time now. Last night, I got a call from this individual, offering me his training skills. Skills that have never been seen in person, in fact they are even hidden from the man himself, many believed he lost his skills through time. Time truly can cause things to vanish, Like that gerbil, Rex Fury put in his…assets. Still to this day, MIA. Fucking guy, needs to a Gerbil care book... back to the individual This individual who has taken little girly men like Fury and turned them into beasts. I know it sounds ridiculously impossible to turn Fury into a beast but to be honest, I think he may honestly rise in sVo with help. Either that gerbil will be pushing at his body, or better yet he will learn to divide his gay antics with his weight training. What can be the result of this 50/50 balance? Rex Fury will be sVo’s, Carrot Top! My bad, back to the individual... The fact is that with this individual in my corner, Victory becomes not even a thought but more of a guarantee, and there is not a better time to display this truth than at this Sunday's Roll The Dice. I know it's unbelievable, I know you all want to meet him. I already see you all asking yourselves, Who can it be? But… based on his request, I’m currently keeping him sheltered from the cameras until he is comfortable… I know, I know. I can hear you booing through your television, chances are he will be ready tonight. When, Rex Fury see’s this individual, he’s will be ReXploding all over his “super agents” face. Peyton gives a smile and continues… Joseph Peyton: It’s not typical for someone to receive an offer like this…especially from someone who is known internationally. In fact, I only got this lucky lottery ticket of an offer due to Rex Fury. The individual was watching television last Sunday night. He happened to land on FOX, It was there that he unfortunately witnessed Rex Fury’s match. The performance apparently made him literally cry in disappointment. Keep in mind, this individual has been training in the Ninja arts for roughly 900 years. So, it was the biggest slap in his face to see a man like Rex Fury, wearing a yellow ninja suite, running around like the inner spice girl that he truly is. It was a match that one would swear was placed at San Francisco, or West Hollywood. Sadly, there is no hiding the facts on live television. But it officially cleared up what Rex Fury and Major are attempting to accomplish! They started slowly with the yellow ninja suit and the Brokeback Mountain sausage talks, but now they are playing sly. Rex Fury and his fellow ‘sneaky snake’ Major are in the process of creating something new that certainly won’t be penetrating people in the right way, literally. But, I’ve found the silly snakes plans! That snake in the grass! Rex Fury is masterminding a new breed of dedicated yellow suited homosexual ninja wrestlers who can use their lethal martial arts moves to destroy opponents. These lethal moves are truly ruthless; Fury has some nerve to create moves like the “cavity search” or the “Goodfella's one handed slot machine”. This is a clear attempt to transform sVo’s respectable stance, into more of a gay agenda! Rex’s plan is simple; he will attempt in anyway to spread his love for sausages, including through stalking. How would you like to get drugged by one of these sneaky ninjas backstage? You end up waking up with a sausage in the deepest, darkest, shadow realm. Just imagine all you viewers, your coming down to Goodfella’s Casino, for some fierce wrestling matches. A sport that promises the last of gladiator like battles but then wait… Rex Fury’s piano music starts to play… DA DUN DA DUN DA DUN… DUN DUN DA DA DA DUN… Then comes a little fiddle solo and boom! Out comes Rex Fury… His dedicated gay community fan base soars up to their feet with dildos and Oscar Meyer wieners in their hands, waving and slapping innocent fans around. Do you want that? I sure as hell don’t. It’s bad enough Rex has white stains on his wrestling attire! The individual signals a ‘ready to go’ sign to Peyton. Joseph Peyton: OH, HERE IT IS FOLKS! You sure, master? The individual nods his head and slowly prepares to remove his hood. Joseph Peyton: Mentor, please state your name for the viewers The hood is now off; the person’s body is green, it is none other than… Yoda: Yoda, my name is. Joseph Peyton: Yes, bitches and gentlemen. The one and only, Yoda. Now, tell me who is more powerful than this man? Yoda: Powerful you are too Peyton, but impatient man is the opponent, Fury Rex… He wants you down, so he can put sausage in dark side of yours. Joseph Peyton: Oh, Yoda, No! Can you help me? Yoda: Help you, I will. We train tonight, the start. Joseph Peyton: Sounds good, Yoda, what do you… Joey stops and rushes to the end of the table, trying to hide the string sticking out of the Yoda puppet that his neighbor is holding under the table. The camera already catches it. Joseph Peyton: Fuck, Steve! I thought you were a master puppeteer! The Neighbor, Steve: What, I never said anything like that… Joseph Peyton: You had a puppet CD, I even saw it. The Neighbor, Steve: That was “Master of Puppets”, Metallica’s album, dipshit. Joseph Peyton: Ah, fuck. I had so much planned for Yoda. The Neighbor, Steve: I did the wording correctly, you got to admit. Joseph Peyton: Yeah, but I wanted to use him for later, he would be Rex’s first victim. The Neighbor, Steve: Oh the power of the force, Fury’s ass fuck me. Joseph Peyton: Haha, exactly. Well, it looks like I cooled Rex completely down. The Neighbor, Steve: Cooled him down? You put that kid in the freezer… Joseph Peyton: Ah that reminds me of a joke that fits Rex and Major. The Neighbor, Steve: Oh god, what is it? Joseph Peyton: What's the difference between those fags and a freezer? The Neighbor, Steve: What? Joseph Peyton: When we pull meat out of the freezer, it doesn’t fart. The Neighbor, Steve: OHHHHHH! The scene ends |
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2:53 PM Jul 11