| Generic Opponents? 1, 2, 3, 4!; [sd-11] RP #2 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 5 2008, 09:49 AM (92 Views) | |
| Mike Polowy | Jan 5 2008, 09:49 AM Post #1 |
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2x Former sVo Champion
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The scene opens in a generic gym in some generic part of Detroit. Generic signs with generic weight lifting tips line the generic, bland walls. Generic athletes work out on generic workout equipment, wearing generic weightlifting gear. In the midst of it all, Ricky Blowjob pumps iron in bright pink spandex, sweat pouring down his face like a waterfall. His nipples ache, and his back arches as he heaves the bar onto the rack after his last set. Ricky: Man, I am one sweaty blowjob. The people around him start to snicker. It's a generic, hollow laugh, almost like television canned laughter. Ricky looks around confused. He towels off his face, and takes a big swig of his water. The glistening dew sticks in his thick mustache, and he swallows the water down with a grateful gulp. Ricky: I'm exhausted. Back when I was just wrestling on the amateur circuit, I could wrestle all day long... but now that I'm wrestling for GWF, the Generic Wrestling Federation, they put me into their Extreme Division. I'll tell you one thing, a Hardcore Blowjob is a tired, messy Blowjob. This time the generic background laughter intensifies, and the generic athletes around let out chuckles as loud as they are generic. Ricky laughs nervously, not knowing what's going on... his paranoia grows. Ricky: Alright, what is it? Did I say something? God this always happens. Anyway, back to my point. Sometimes after a match, all I can do is go home and collapse. My dog, Teeth, jumps up onto my laugh and wants to play, but I never have the energy. I have to yell at him... I say "NO! TEETH! NO TEETH!" More laughter. It's less generic now and more cackling. Everyone is trying very hard to keep their composure, and everyone is watching him now. He looks very nervous. Ricky: ....I don't get what's so...*sigh* Anyway, when I started in this business I tried to make Teeth my manager, but John Smith, the president of the GWF, said there was no way I could have a dog as a manager. According to him, I'd never be a great Blowjob if I used Teeth. The laughter is deafening this time, and Ricky snaps. He reaches into his gym bag and pulls out a small, yet practical, sub-machine gun. He pulls the trigger as the camera cuts away to darkness. All we can hear is the automatic fire and screams of generic gym goers as they are mowed down in bullet rounds. The gun runs out of ammo and there is a sobering *CLICK* once or twice. He doesn't bother to reload, and after a moment the camera turns back on. Ricky drops the gun back into his bag and throws a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt on over top of the spandex. He looks left, and then right, and runs to the door, scampering out of the building. It's silent for a few minutes, with only the low moans and groans of the dying to fill the awkwardness in the air. The camera suddenly cuts to an alley, presumably outside the gym since there is a sign on the door that says "Gerry's Generic Gym." Standing in that alley is sVo Champion Michael Polowy, who runs a hand through his hair and flashes his million dollar smile at the camera. Polowy: Ladies and gentlemen, what you've just seen is a public service announcement from The Mike Effect. The events that just transpired weren't real, but they very well could have been. That's why I'm here tonight. Kids, some of you out there may have funny names, relating to fellatio or other sexual topics. Some of your names may sound remarkably like cuss words, or other funny things. But no matter how many people make fun of you, boys and girls, you can't shoot them in the face with an AK-47. Because if you do, you'll go to jail. And there are much worse things than mocking in jail, kids. Ask Howie Banks. But that's not the only reason I'm here tonight, kids. I'm here tonight to teach you about survival. Ricky Blowjob, our fictional character from tonight, he was a survivor. He knew how to survive and beat the odds. Just like me, kids. Even though no one liked him and they all made fun of him for things, he showed them all who was the boss in the end, didn't he? Just like me. Kids, tell your mommies and daddies to pay the cable bill this week and tune in to Showdown on Saturday night, because if you do, you can see a real hero in action. Psyko Stevo? Howie Banks? Jay Wildman? Those three sillies are just like all those people in that gym... they're generic, bland, and in the end they're just going to get what's coming to them. With the holidays, I know you haven't seen much of your favorite sVo Champion and his legion of opponents for the week, but I promise each and every single one of you that we WILL be at Showdown this week. And in the main event, an 8 man tag team match, I'll teach each and every one of you firsthand how to be a survivor. For the sVo and PBS, I'm Michael Polowy, and you've just been educated. He gives his best fake grin and thumbs up to the camera, before turning and walking away as the camera fades to black. |
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-The First Sanctioned Violence Organization World Champion -Winner of the Victory Cup | |
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6:54 PM Jul 11