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Silver Bells...; Showdown 8, RP 1
Topic Started: Dec 8 2007, 05:26 AM (105 Views)
captaind
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Captain D.
“And so children, with that being said, if you can teach a man to fish, he will eat for a year, but if you can give a man a credit card with an unnamed spending limit, he will eat forever, and also gain mass amounts of debt—so help the homeless out by feeding them and ruining their credit! Hehe!”


[He makes his exit, stage left, like he always did. He smiles and waves, his smile, so inhuman, it’s unbelievable. He walks passed Midget Mikey, his adorable sidekick and HMIC (head midget in charge) for the past ten years. Some say that they don’t know what D. would have done without ol’ Mikey. But as the Captain turned down the corridor toward his dressing room, something startled him. He heard the faintest noise, it sounded like bells. He jerked his head around, and removed his hat. He stared in one direction, then the other. The sound that echoed most was the clapping and cheering of the fans in attendance. They were loud, they were always loud. But the weird thing was, the tinkling of bells just overpowered it all. Captain D. scratches his head, replaces the hat atop his head, and makes a sharp right into his dressing room. A gold star that reads “Captain D.” is dead center atop the door.]

Captain D.
“Where does that noise keep coming from? It’s so…. weird.”


[The Captain tosses his hat on to the Styrofoam head located in front of his mirror. Giant, iridescent light bulbs line the outside of the mirror. He stares at himself. He removes his latex gloves from hands, and sets them atop his vanity. Yes, even men have vanities—especially show hosts. The vainest of all people, hosts of television shows rely on their looks, no matter who they are—Sally Jesse Raphael, Maury Povich, or even Captain D., it was all about the vanity. He yawns, and rubs his face with his hands. When he looks back into the mirror, he is startled to see Spring-Heeled Jack standing behind him, a huge grin, much like one of Captain D.’s, and he screams a little. He closes his eyes and Jack is gone.]

Captain D.
“I must really be tired… gee-wilikers, I’ve never had that happen before.”


[But the Captain lied. He had had something like that happen before. It was about four years ago, the show had been on the air for six years and everything was going well. At least, it appeared that way. The Captain had spent too much time at work, many said he was Mormon—married to his job, then married to his wife. But he loved both, and although he would never admit it, he loved his job sometimes more than his wife Judith. One night, working late, he decided to surprise his wife with flowers and champagne. He marched up to his bedroom, opened the door, and found Judith in bed with another man. This man however, wasn’t any ordinary Joe like the Cable Guy or the Pool Boy. Oh no sir, he was not, for he was the one and only Bozo the Clown, and he was too busy making his wife worry about getting it into the sixth and final bucket than realize that the Good Captain was standing in the door. Well, he found out, and the D. dropped the bottle and startled the adulterer. It really hurt the Captain. The two tried to cover up, but he had seen the nasty—and it was nasty, Bozo’s not exactly slim and docile. Judith tried to explain, but all D. could want to do was beat them to death with his cane—or at least to a bloody pulp. Murder is wrong after all. But he left that night, never to return, and hadn’t looked back. Everyday for the next three months, he would walk into a room and see the two of them in a grotesque embrace. In fact, he had spent four months in therapy trying to forget it. He thought it had worked. That was the first time D. thought about that night in a long, long time. As the good Captain fell back into reality, he noticed something written on the wall behind him. He couldn’t make it in the mirror, so he turned his head, and was in awe. Written in blue paint, the wall read:

“Silver Bells, Silver Bells…
Ring-a-ling, Here them ding…
Silver Bells, Silver Bells…
A Jester they doth bring…”


The Captain was mortified. He knew he recognized that sound. Spring-Heeled Jack was around. He knew it. What gave it away you ask? Was it the tinkling of silver jester bells? Oh no, that helped… but it was that evil, maniacal laugh that followed the evil Jester everywhere.]


Captain D.
“Spring-Heeled Jack you mean silly man, I’ll get you for this. I will not be made a fool of.”


[But we all knew that Captain D. was kidding himself and everyone else. Captain D. never wrestled a hardcore match in his life—heck, he couldn’t even curse if his life depended on it. And with someone like “Hollywood” Howie Banks as the special guest referee, it just wasn’t his night. But the Captain had a plan… and he had it all figured out. In a happy world, he wouldn’t have to make this choice. But after remembering his past—D. knew that reality was a harsh pill to swallow—and the good Captain preferred chewables.]
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