| The Joker And The Thief; ROLEPLAY NUMBER ONE | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 26 2007, 10:53 PM (170 Views) | |
| Tristan Walker | Nov 26 2007, 10:53 PM Post #1 |
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The Joker and the Thief RP#1 Well, once again, sVo have put on a hell of a performance. The Pay-Per-View, Redemption, was a complete success. Not only because I won my match, but because everyone showed great talent and ability to wrestle and perform in front of thousands of eager fans holding their tickets in anticipation. People like Mike Polowy, Howie Banks and Nicholas Etch really made it worth watching. But, of course, every show has its down sides. Something or someone, especially in this case, that nibbles the corner off a well rounded performance, and makes it look slightly tatty. Not only is his baby grove style suit completely ridiculous, but he also looks a complete mess and scares the children away. This man is the reason kids can no longer watch television. This man is the reason the show failed to get a ten out of ten on the TV’s Top Rated Shows this week in the TV Guide, all because of one man. Of course, you do not need explaining who the culprit is, but for those of an IQ less than 2, then he is Spring Heeled Jack. Oh look! He also happens to be my opponent for this week, what a coincidence….I think not. This guy is obviously placed to wrestle me and then hand over that Hardcore Championship to me because Jon Page knows it, Jimmy Morretti knows it, the whole damn roster knows that Spring Heeled Jack is a lazy, layabout who thinks he can roam around the place, whine and bitch about not getting championship shots. Well are you happy? You got your 15 minutes of fame in the Pay-Per-View main event, now bugger off. You lost that match, get over it. Move on. The more practise you get, the loss of the Hardcore Belt to me won’t be all that much of a shock to the system. Well, now is serious time. As many of you may be confused about what happened after my match at Redemption. Why would I ditch such a beautiful girl such as Katie Smith? I’ll tell you why. My main reason was told on the night, because I love her and I don’t think she should be held down by me. The other reason is because quite frankly, I am in search of much bigger things. I don’t need some woman to get in my way, when the Walker Express is full steam ahead and no signs of stopping. Plus, I have a much better manager and mentor in Jefferson, who knows what he is on about, rather than Katie who hasn’t had that experience of being in the ring. I don’t know for certain if Jefferson has either, but he certainly speaks from experience. Looking back, I really do not know much about Jefferson, something I will have to do in the future….. Bloody thing! Why won’t it work?! God I hate doing this stuff. I mean, Jefferson can make it work fine, but when I touch it, falls to pieces and stops working. I bang the coffee machine again and a small spurt of burning hot brown liquid hits me square on in the eyes. In agony, I stumble backwards into the table, fall onto it, and it collapses. Am I really that fat? Doesn’t matter, what matters is I am out of coffee!! Why did Jefferson have to go to the bank today?! Of all days, today? He knows I get bored and end up doing something stupid around the house, like last week I managed to create a chip pan fire. Don’t ask me how, I haven’t even got a clue myself. Well, like anyone in that situation, I screamed like a little girl and chucked water on it. Bad move….. Burnt a whole in the ceiling, causing the cat to fall through the roof and scamper out of the door with its tail on fire. I luckily didn’t get hurt, although my eyebrows will never be the same again. Another time was when I first moved in. Jefferson went out for the day to do some grocery shopping. There I was, watching TV, and then I wondered ‘what would happen if I stuffed a whole roll of toilet paper down the toilet?’. Being the adventurous fool that I am, I tried it and drastic consequences followed. It began to over flow, water, crap, what looked like the remains of a porn mag and a dead mouse began spilling all over the tiled floor. And like the responsible adult I am, I ignored it and hoped it would stop by itself. The bill for repairing the damages was taken out of my wages. Jefferson said afterwards. “If you’re going to act like a child, then I shall treat you like one” At this, I stamped my foot and sulked in my room for 2 days. Jefferson is a patient man, too patient. Anyway, I am now here, bored as hell. What can a 22 year old with no life outside wrestling do on a Monday afternoon? Ah! I can take a walk in the city and maybe just stop by the bank to see Jefferson. I make up my mind, slip on my tatty and worn out trainers, and leave the house. The walk into the centre is only about an hour. I enjoy walking; I can look at all the hot ladies with big boobs as they jog past me. I specifically choose this route because of this. It would normally take only 40 minutes, but what is 20 minutes when you can perv on women, right? I enter the bustling centre with thousands of people marching up and down the busy sidewalks, holding bags with brands labelled everywhere. I look at all the poor fools and decide to use my brain. There are no pedestrians in the roads, so why don’t we walk on them instead?! I’m clever. So there I am, walking up the middle of the busiest road in Cincinnati, making my way to the bank. After a short 5 minute walk in which I experienced extreme pain as a car drove into me, nothing lethal, but he should watch where he is driving, idiot. I reached the big red brick coloured building and entered where a small queue of people were waiting, mainly old people came here. I spotted Jefferson near the front and I went straight to him, tapped him on the shoulder. He slowly turned on the spot and flinched slightly at my demonic grin. “Oh! Hey Tristan. What are you doing here?” He looked slightly worried, but it didn’t bother me much. “I got bored. So I thought I’d come see you here at the bank. Hehe! Bank rhymes with-“ “ALRIGHT!! EVEYONE ON THE FLOOR!! NOWWWW!!” A gunshot was fired into the air as people screamed. I wheeled around to see two men standing there. The first man had a black balaclava, completely covering his features, but a deadly look in his eyes was scary. The other man was very odd. He was holding the gun which was being pointed into the air, yet he was dressed as a clown. Ironically, Joker and the Thief by Wolfmother started playing on the radio. The clown pointed the gun at the radio and fired his pistol at it, making it spark and explode. This was ridiculous; everyone was scared of a stupid clown! I stood up, and walked over to him. “Oi! Down on the ground, NOW!” The clown was shouting at me, but I just found it comical. I tried to keep in my laughter, but it didn’t work. I sort of laughed, but spat on the clowns painted white face. He glared at me. “What the?! You absolute tosspot! Get down or I will shoot you” I reached out my hand and squeezed his big red nose. It honked. The clown started to shake with anger as he continued to point the gun at me. “Are you seriously going to shoot me?” I sounded particularly cool and calm when I said this, very unlike my own tone of voice. It scared me more than the clown did. “There’s nothing I won’t do anymore!! Aster la veesta, baby!” How very cliché……. To be continued |
![]() Career Stats sVo Record: 2-0-0 Achievements: Became No.1 Contender for the Hardcore Championship in his debut | |
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6:55 PM Jul 11