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| We're re-writing the pilot!...; ...And you're the writer! | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 15 2010, 03:54 PM (4,061 Views) | |
| .:CitrusRush:. | Jun 10 2010, 06:13 PM Post #61 |
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<Epic Control>
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I liked it cosmo ^-^ it was very entertaining. and i think pretty much everyone has suggested anything i would suggest. |
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| Cosmographia | Jun 11 2010, 01:09 PM Post #62 |
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What time is it?
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Thanks, Rush 8D but that would go more among the lines of the characters being OOC or fixing up some dialogue? Also, I edited the script. |
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| InvdrDana | Jun 18 2010, 03:30 AM Post #63 |
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Irken Elite
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I liked your script, Cosmo. I remembered when you first told me about your idea. I think a nice addition would be to delve deeper into the device itself, description-wise and "vocally" too. I assume that Zim meant for it to blast Dib's house, but it wasn't really implied (unless it was and I just missed it since it's late). I think my favorite part was when Dib just kept talking. I like when he gets long-winded. XD |
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| Lark | Jun 18 2010, 06:11 AM Post #64 |
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peppermint
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there is one thing I would like to say about the script. there's a tiny mistake (microscopic, not sure if scripts need to be that detailed... O.o). but when Gir had minimoose stuck to his head, u never wrote when minimoose unsticks himself from Gir's head! In the next scene we can just assume somewhere along the way, when the camera moved perhaps, minimoose fell off Gir's head. ---------- anyways... "that's great Dib, it can read your mood..." XD that part made me start laughing. :P good work
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| Cosmographia | Jun 18 2010, 12:26 PM Post #65 |
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What time is it?
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@Dana: The viewer is not meant to know what the weapon was for, that was kind of the idea and thanks! X3 @Lark: Thank you glad you liked it! =D Oh, I must've missed that; yeah, GIR unsticks him when he stands up, I'll edit that. |
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| InvdrDana | Jun 18 2010, 03:47 PM Post #66 |
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Irken Elite
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@Cosmo; I figured that was so. But it's funny how little things like that can change the direction of the story. Like how doing what I suggested would cause Zim to be focused on a bit more when you were going for a Dib/Gaz focus. And you're welcome! ^_^ |
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| Cosmographia | Jun 18 2010, 05:48 PM Post #67 |
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What time is it?
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=3 You're right; it hadn't occurred to me as to why Zim had the item in the first place. I think it gives a wider idea and makes the viewer (in this case the reader) think if Dib had seen Zim approaching his house or if it was a normal confrontation, like a routine. I never planned who the focus would be for though, but it's cool seeing how everyone likes it. X3 |
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