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| We're re-writing the pilot!...; ...And you're the writer! | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 15 2010, 03:54 PM (4,064 Views) | |
| Alohilani | May 18 2010, 08:32 AM Post #31 |
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Firestarter
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Aw thanks guys X3 I can't wait to see the other entries either 8D |
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| InvdrDana | May 29 2010, 04:22 AM Post #32 |
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Irken Elite
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I have a script ready, but I can't figure out how to get it on here like Alohilani did. Would it be okay if I tossed it on dA? I can put it in Scraps where not too many people will see it if that's better. P.S: I liked your script Kila. It was cute. :3 |
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| Alohilani | May 29 2010, 07:55 AM Post #33 |
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Firestarter
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Oh, you can attach it to your post if you go to the full reply window- there should be an 'Attach FIle' button near the bottom. And thanks X3 |
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| Invader Rachel | May 29 2010, 07:48 PM Post #34 |
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Voice of Gaz
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Okay so we haven't started with boarding and what not yet? *Phew*! I've been away for so long,, I thought I would have been fired. =( I apologize for my absense--- ya'll probably knew things were getting crazy in my life. It's good to be back,,, can I still call ya'll my family? =) Rewriting the pilot sounds awesome, the most recent post was hilarious... Good luck to everyone who writes one!! Edited by Invader Rachel, May 29 2010, 07:54 PM.
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| IrkenBlitz | May 29 2010, 07:49 PM Post #35 |
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Supporter
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I thought it was hilarious. Espically the random kid. Great job! |
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| Alohilani | May 29 2010, 07:59 PM Post #36 |
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Firestarter
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Ff, thank you <3 |
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| Dee | May 29 2010, 11:00 PM Post #37 |
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Irken Elite
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Yeah, I thought it was pretty well done ![]() I'm a writer, but I write more serious-oriented things, so I could never pull of a Zimmish writing
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| TCPM | May 30 2010, 12:52 PM Post #38 |
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Irken Invader
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I just love the fact that in the couple years Zim has been gone that Minimoose and GIR just magically forget everything about themselves. |
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| InvdrDana | May 30 2010, 09:59 PM Post #39 |
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Irken Elite
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So here's my script. I have to say that some inspiration for this came from freaking out about the possibility of this happening to me as a kid. For those that don't know, O.S means off screen and V.O is voice over. Enjoy! @Kila; Thanks for telling me! ^_^ |
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| Alohilani | May 30 2010, 10:08 PM Post #40 |
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Firestarter
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EVIL ALIEN PLANTS WIN I love how GIR and Minimoose help raid the base at the end XDD Edited by Alohilani, May 30 2010, 10:11 PM.
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| G4P | May 30 2010, 10:13 PM Post #41 |
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"Slash it Slash it!"
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As do I, good script, could use some work though. |
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| InvdrDana | May 30 2010, 10:16 PM Post #42 |
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Irken Elite
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@Kila; Thanks. XD @Gir4president; Thank you. Where could it use some work exactly? |
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| G4P | May 31 2010, 09:10 AM Post #43 |
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"Slash it Slash it!"
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Well, for one thing it is not long enough, there needs to be more talking and more just hilarity I think. I think that it is kind of unexplained as to why Dib goes to Zim's house, usually he is sort of like a bee where if Zim leaves him alone, or even stays away from him it won't matter. He usually is suspicious of something. If this were a short that would be fine, my main complaint is length. I like how you didn't overuse Gir, that is something that people tend to do, and something that the actual show never did, he usually only has like 2-4 lines an episode. Oh, never mind it is a short, so I guess my only real complaint is that it needs a little more talking and just humor in it. Oh and more Zim yelling, classic Zim style
Edited by G4P, May 31 2010, 09:13 AM.
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| Simply Nat | May 31 2010, 10:42 AM Post #44 |
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Nat fo Shizzle
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It sure was fun to read, Dana, but I have to agree that there's not enough talking... also, I think it's too much of action. I think we ought to settle with something less complicated to animate for the pilot, but that's just my opinion, I have no clue what the animators can do. ;)
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| InvdrDana | Jun 5 2010, 10:00 PM Post #45 |
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Irken Elite
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((Before anything, I have to say that I'm going on vacation tomorrow so I won't be able to get back to any of you until the 18th or so (I don't have a laptop and the hotel doesn't have Internet). I'll do my homework when I get back too. ^^ I'll miss you guys!!! *glomps you all*)) @Gir4president; Well, I tried to keep it within the limits of what Josh had set. I actually cut some lines since I didn't think they were necessary. As for Dib suddenly following him, it kind of was explained...Gir and Minimoose were carrying crates that could've had some dangerous experiement in them. I think that's reason enough. However, I suppose I could've extended it so Dib rants on to Gaz more, becoming more paranoid so that he'd have to go no matter what. Plus, I was trying to gear it so it'd be like a re-introduction to different elements of the IZ world. As for the yelling, there's that whole scene of him laughing manically for a rather long time. XD @Nat; Thanks. ^^ Not enough talking? Hm, I've had time to think about this and I can recall a bunch of episodes where there's not much talking in certain scenes, and those are around this length too (i.e. The opening scenes of Battle of the Planets). At least to me, less lines would force the VAs to really focus and perfect the lines they have. I thought it might be a bit complicated with the action though. The only real major action is that flower popping up. I don't know what the animators can do either, but I have faith in them. :D |
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2:05 PM Jul 11
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Floral_Arrangements.rtf (17.18 KB)
I think we ought to settle with something less complicated to animate for the pilot, but that's just my opinion, I have no clue what the animators can do. ;)
2:05 PM Jul 11