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Awkward Grace; Jane Seymour
Topic Started: Sep 30 2011, 07:03 PM (661 Views)
Elizabeth Oughtred
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Finding herself with the ever pressing dilemma of her inadequacies with the way of the court and feeling far too shy to ask the help of any of the ladies, she had made this the soul reason for her trip to the library. Liza wasn't a particularly strong reader, it took her a little while to tune into the intricate calligraphic swirls of text and alphabet on a page of a book but she figured that with enough concentration, she would be able to understand it completely. She wasn't sure if there was such a book within the library that would enlighten her as to how she should act but she saw no harm in searching, just in case.

Walking briskly through the library, she glanced furtively around at the shelves as though they might suddenly declare themselves the holder of the information she sought. She was rather embarrassed that she had to find a book that might help her with her mannerisms and etiquette but she loathed how utterly awkward and clumsy she felt when women all around her paraded themselves around flawlessly with their heads held high with noble dignity while she was overlooked until she made an embarrassing blunder. At least that was how it seemed to her.

Choosing a set of shelves to scan for a book that might be of use to her, she timidly walked up to them and peered at the spines of the books curiously, her brow furrowed a little in concentration. Surely there was something somewhere that might help her? Surely the simplest of advice on bearing and countenance or even a documentation of dances? Anything she could find that might help and yet she struggled to find anything. So busy concentrating on deciphering the titles of the books, that she had tuned out of her surroundings rather easily and quickly. A whole army could sneak up on her at that point and probably not be noticed until the very last moment.
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Jane Seymour
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Jane had intended to go riding today. It would soon be too cold to indulge comfortably in outdoor activities, and she wanted to give her mare Calypso as much exercise as she could before Winter set in. As usual, she was not looking forward to the frigid weather, and already dreaming of the day when it would finally grow warm again. There was no dearth of activity with which to occupy herself inside the palace. She was simply happier when she could spend a good bit of her time in the open air. Being confined indoors often made her restless, although she didn't understand why.

Unfortunately, her plans had been canceled when her escort did not show up. Jane had been tempted to go riding without one, but since that afternoon she had spent with Lord Oxford in an abandoned cottage during a storm, she had not dared. She had ridden unescorted then, and the way he had acted toward her made her believe that he had known it. Even though that had been months ago, she was not certain that he did not have her watched, just in case she did something that he could use against Edward. She certainly wouldn't put it past him.

After spending a little time with Calypso, Jane returned to her chambers and changed out of her riding clothes. After she was properly dressed once more, she decided to head to the library. There was nothing like becoming engrossed in a good book to ease her restless spirit.

Apparently she was not the only one who wished to read today, for there were several other people there as well, either walking among the bookcases or sitting in one of the many chairs. Most of them had books in their hands, but a few of them were conversing softly, and one elderly man had fallen asleep, his legs stretched out in front of him so that people had to step over his feet if they wanted to get by. At least he was not snoring. That would have definitely disrupted the quiet atmosphere that Jane loved so much.

One of the occupants of the library immediately caught her attention and she smiled with fondness as she watched her sister perusing the books on one of the shelves. The library was not a place where she would think to find Elizabeth, but she was pleased that she was here, for Jane always enjoyed spending time with her. Strolling over to where Elizabeth stood, Jane spoke from slightly behind her. “It looks like we have the same idea today,” she said softly, not wishing to startle the other woman.
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Elizabeth Oughtred
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The sound of her older sister's voice made her gasp in surprise and turn away from the bookshelves to face her, a guilty look on her face as though she had been caught looking at something she ought not to. In reality, it was far from that but she was somewhat embarrassed all the same that she had to look up such things instead of knowing them already. However, once she had realized exactly who was talking to her, her expression changed to a more neutral one, a small smile forming.

"So it seems," she replied, her smile widening to reflect her fondness for her sister. Liza wanted very much to be like Jane; pretty, more confident than she, graceful... She could list many more reasons as to why, and whether her childish idolization of her siblings would ever wear off was not something she knew the answer to or ever thought about. "What brings you to the library, sister?" she asked meekly, wondering if she should ask her sister for the help she had been seeking a book to provide. Though of course, depending on what her sister was looking for, perhaps she could help her in turn. "Are you searching for something? If so, might I help you with it?" She liked to be of assistance to her siblings - even if they took advantage of her willingness, she found pleasure in being included and of making herself useful to them.

Liza glanced at the row of books she had been browsing until a moment ago and wondered if she had even been looking in the right area for such a thing. Perhaps what Jane was looking for could be coincidentally found there instead... Absent-mindedly, she scanned the books as though expecting miraculously for one to jump out at her and happen to be one that Jane was looking for. Then again, perhaps she wasn't looking for a book, though Elizabeth couldn't think of another reason for her to be in the library other than for a book.
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Jane Seymour
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Jane had hoped not to startle her sister, but it seemed as if she did so anyway. From the guilty look on Elizabeth's face, she wondered if she was more surprised by Jane's presence, or that she had not wanted to get caught perusing the books of the shelves. Why should her sister be ashamed for wanting to do a little reading?

Yet from the smile Elizabeth gave her when she recognized who she was, Jane did not believe that it mattered to her sister if she was the one who found her in the library. Again, she wondered what the younger woman was doing there, for she had not known her to be especially fond of literature. It was tempting to pull a tome from its place and ascertain what sort of books sat in this particular bookcase, she did not do so. If her sister wished her to know what she sought, then she would tell her.

“Actually, I am here because my riding plans were canceled,” Jane said with a wry little smile. “My escort didn't show up, and it would have been improper to ride without one.” Elizabeth was her closest friend and confidant, but not even she knew of her older sister's predilection to ride unescorted. It was something that Jane could not risk anyone knowing, as well as the lofty plans Edward and Cecily had for her future. She truly wished that she could tell Elizabeth about the latter, but it was not possible.

“I didn't want to spend the rest of the afternoon bored to tears, so I decided to find something to read to occupy my time. I'm not really seeking anything in particular ...” she shrugged her shoulders gracefully and grinned at her sister. “How about you, Elizabeth? You seemed to be studying the books rather intently. Is there something special you are looking for?”
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Elizabeth Oughtred
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Elizabeth was also guilty of not telling every single detail of her life to her sister, though she wasn't all too far off from it. There were very few things she hadn't told her and though she didn't really expect or insist on one hundred percent honesty and contribution from her older sister, she felt guilty if she held back. Of course she didn't relate mundane and rather unexciting events to her but pretty much everything else she would confess without second a second thought.

At Jane's inquiry, Liza's cheeks pinked slightly. It might not be a big deal but she found her own ignorance highly embarrassing and it was a big source of insecurity for her. Not to mention the fact that she was resorting to books for help. "I... I..." she took a deep breath before continuing. "I was hoping to find a book that might be able to teach me about... Well, about court and... traditions and dances and- Oh Jane, I do not wish to look a fool any longer!" She looked up at her sister, her eyes shining almost tearfully so. "I wish to be like you, Jane! You have grace and poise and you know how to behave! I have so very little aptitude and I know they must think me quite ignorant because of it..."

Elizabeth hung her head dejectedly; it all sounded ten times worse when she said it out loud. Perhaps there was no book at all that could help her and she had been pursuing a non-existent tome? It would be just her luck that she had been. Oh she wouldn't blame Jane if she laughed at her now. She almost expected it as foolish as she currently felt.
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Jane Seymour
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Jane blinked when her sister confessed her reason for perusing the books in the library, but otherwise she kept her expression pleasant and reassuring. Elizabeth had always suffered from low self-esteem, and Jane had tried to help her gain confidence in herself ever since the two of them had been children together in Wolfhall. Now that she was grown, she realized that it was truly difficult to change an inherent part of oneself. Jane often wished that she were bolder, and slowly she was trying to change and take control of her own life, rather than let Edward and Cecily run it for her. Not that she was against their plans, but if they did not work out … which seemed more likely as the months wore on … her life would have to take another path, one in which she hoped to have a say. She would just have to be subtle in the way she went about it.

One thing she did not lack was confidence in herself. Demure she might be, but she knew her own worth, and that most of it came from her beauty, her poise, and her willingness to please others … all of which came quite naturally to her. Elizabeth had appealing qualities as well, if just she could learn to see them.

Jane blushed when her sister said she wanted to be just like her. She knew that Elizabeth looked up to her, and while she was flattered, she did not believe she deserved the younger woman's adoration. She most definitely had her flaws, one of them being the fact that when she opened her mouth, her foot often wound up in it. She was quite skilled at witty and intelligent conversation, but sometimes she said things that she wished she would have thought about before they left her lips.

Turning her thoughts back to Elizabeth, she pondered what to tell her. One could not really learn what she wanted to know from a book. Jane thought she could help her with court manners and dancing, though. When she had been new at court herself, she had made a friend who had taken her under her wing and refined the skills that she had learned as a child so that she would fit seamlessly into her new life. In a way, she supposed that was where she had gained a good bit of her confidence. Perhaps such instruction would have the same affect on her sister.

Jane took Elizabeth's hand and squeezed it gently. “I don't think anyone believes that of you, sister,” she said, “and if so, it is they who are ignorant. And I am afraid that you cannot learn what you seek from a book. You might find a few about court traditions and manners, but they are probably outdated. But I can teach you the dances, and also about proper court behavior and conversation skills. It would be fun and we would get to spend a lot more time together.”

Tilting her head to the side and watching Elizabeth's face closely, she asked the question that was foremost in her mind. “May I ask why you wish to know such things? That will help me to ascertain what it is I should teach you.”

Idly, she wondered if her sister fancied a handsome courtier. Jane knew that Elizabeth's marriage had not been one of love, and she wished to see her little sister find happiness in her life.
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Elizabeth Oughtred
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Elizabeth's face fell. If she could not learn such things from books, then she would have to learn from another person and if she had to learn from another person, she was very likely to utterly humiliate herself. Thankfully, it was Jane who was offering rather than someone she had less confidence in. She might be able to embarrass herself before Jane, but it would be a lot more difficult to do so than in the presence of someone she didn't know quite as well. "You would teach me, Jane?" she asked, gazing across at her imploringly. "I would so love for you to educate me! There is so very much I do not know..."

At the mention of her motivation for learning, her cheeks flushed visibly. Diverting her eyes as though guilty of some great sin, she hesitated, waiting for the heat in her cheeks to subside but the more she became aware of it, the more convinced she became that the blush was worsening. Not wanting to hesitate any longer, she clapped her hands over her cheeks and looked back at her sister, looking slightly sheepish as she did so. "No... No reason... in particular... Only that I..." she broke off and let her hands fall away, her eyes darting around a little in apprehension. "I do not know much... and I thought it might help with... with finding a new husband and... and making a good impression..." She paused before hastily adding, "A good impression on the court, that is!" She didn't usually lie or attempt to hide the the truth from Jane but she had barely admitted her fanciful fondness to herself, let alone anyone else. Admitting it verbally, out loud made it so... So much more... real. And then what if they were to cross paths with William Parr together at some point? She would blush all the more furiously for knowing that Jane knew what she blushing about.

And yet, if she were to tell her sister... Surely her sister could help her secure his attention, could she not? Jane was smart and ladylike, Jane could dance perfectly and Jane could probably attract any man of the court she so desired, maybe even the King himself! Of course, Jane could probably steal the crown jewels, run through court naked and be discovered of witchcraft and Elizabeth would still idolize her. The fact that Jane had not married before her, though an obvious deviance from normal social expectations, was never something that played on her mind terribly. Of course it did sometimes for she could not see why her sister was incapable of finding a husband but it was not something that actively troubled her.
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Jane Seymour
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Jane smiled at her sister. “I would love to. In fact, why did you not ask me instead of seeking such knowledge from books? You should know I will help you with anything, Elizabeth … at least if it is something I know.” She could not teach her about flirting or much to do with romance, as she had very little experience with such things. In that, Elizabeth would certainly be more experienced, as she had been married before. Although Jane now understood why her younger sister had been married before her, she was still envious of her for it. Sometimes it seemed to her that she would die an old maid. Yet Elizabeth had also been married very young, while Jane had had more time to immerse herself in the delights of court life and simply enjoy herself. Perhaps she was the luckier sister after all.

“We can start tomorrow, if you would like,” she said. “Just come to my chambers any time. I will make certain I am there.” The rooms she had been given were beautifully decorated and spacious, courtesy of their older brother. She suspected that he wished her to live in luxury just in case the King showed an interest in her. It would not do for her to reside in substandard accommodations. It would seem as if she were overlooked and unimportant. Or maybe he wished her to accustom herself to fine things and be naturally comfortable around them, on the off chance that she did become Queen. One never knew with Edward.

Elizabeth looked a bit embarrassed and … guilty? … when Jane asked about her motivations for wanting to improve her court manners. Perhaps her first assumption was correct and her younger sister did wish to impress a handsome courtier. She smiled softly at the idea that Elizabeth might be in love. If so, she wished she would confide in her and tell her who it was. There was a possibility that the man in question was someone who was not suitable or known for his womanizing ways. Most men, she had found simply from listening to her friends, were only after one thing and once they got it, you never heard from them again. Jane was very protective of Elizabeth and she certainly did not want her beloved sister to fall prey to such a man.

And while she was not one to pry, she decided to bring up the subject in a nonthreatening way. With a teasing little smile, she wrapped one arm around her sister's shoulders. “Is it the entire court you wish to impress or just a certain someone?” she asked. “Have you found someone whom you fancy, Elizabeth? You know you can tell me anything.”
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Elizabeth Oughtred
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Guilt. Elizabeth could not deny feeling somewhat guilty about not going to Jane first but she had gotten to a point where she felt she had been at court long enough that she ought to know certain things but she did not and found it hideously embarrassing, even in front of Jane. She would probably be embarrassed to be related to her if she were to make some awful exposure of her ignorance. And it was ignorance she felt was the culprit, when a lot of it was probably down to confidence instead. "I... I did not want to trouble you with my lack of knowledge, sister." She turned her head downcast slightly, a hand flying up to tuck a strand of loose hair behind her ear.

"Tomorrow?" she repeated, a slight smile creeping onto her face. She would try her very hardest and hopefully Jane would be able to turn her into a proper lady of the court. For that was what Liza wanted. That and William Parr, though the latter was probably the more difficult to achieve, much to her dismay. "I should be very happy to start tomorrow! Delighted, even! Thank you, Jane!" The younger sister beamed in merriment. It didn't occur to her that learning airs and graces - or whatever it was Jane could teach her - might aid her rather feeble self-esteem but had she known, it might have lead to her being even more elated by the offer.

Elizabeth was still beaming at Jane, that is, until she heard what came next. She might have laughed it off had it not been true but it was and so she found herself incapable of denying, not that she could ever manage to lie to Jane. Her cheeks changed color instantly, so vivid that one might think they were competing with beetroots. "I- I- I- I- I..." She stole a glance at Jane's face, halting her stuttering for a moment or two before finally speaking clearly. "Will- William Parr." The name emerged in a whisper, Elizabeth's face resembling something akin to a terrified rabbit.
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Jane Seymour
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Jane did not believe that Elizabeth was nearly as lacking in the social graces as she seemed to think she was. Her sister just had a rather low opinion of herself that Jane did not believe she deserved. Her brother Thomas was the same way, and she had tried to instill confidence in him as well. She had never liked the way that Edward bullied him, but she could never get him to stand up for himself. Not that she blamed him. Their eldest brother was quite formidable and it seemed that he had received the lion's share of both confidence and ambition in the Seymour family.

Turning her attention back to Elizabeth, she smiled. “You never trouble me, Elizabeth,” she said. “I am pleased to help you in any way I can. That's what sisters are for, are they not? And one day I may need your advice as well. There are some things that you know that I do not.” She mainly referred to marriage and what it was like to share one's life so intimately with another person, especially if one did not love said person. Jane knew that she would not remain single forever; eventually Edward would find a match for her that would bring more power to the family, whether that man was the king or not.

“You're welcome,” she said, enjoying her sister's elation at her simple offer. Elizabeth was so pretty when she smiled. She should definitely do it more often.

Yet that beautiful smile faded when Jane asked her if she fancied a particular courtier, and from the way Elizabeth averted her eyes and the blush that blossomed across her cheeks, she knew that she had been correct in her assumption. Still with her arm around her sister's shoulders, she squeezed gently in encouragement as Elizabeth finally parted with the name of the man she wished to impress.

William Parr. Jane knew who he was, as one of her friends had once been enamored of him as well. He was a handsome man and she had heard only good things about him. Her friend had never gained the courage to approach him and had eventually become infatuated with someone else … a trend that kept repeating itself. Jane had no idea how some women could be so shallow with their affections. Then again, perhaps their standards were not nearly as high as her own.

Elizabeth, though, both looked and sounded serious. In truth, Jane thought they would make quite a nice-looking couple and Edward would most likely have no problem with his youngest sister marrying an earl. “Does he feel the same way about you?” she asked. She did not want to embarrass Elizabeth, but she felt she needed to know as much as possible about anything that concerned her family. “Or does he even know you exist?”

Her last question sounded a bit callous, but it was out now, and she could not take it back.
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Elizabeth Oughtred
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Elizabeth could only feel gratitude toward Jane. There was some hope for her yet! Her dear sister would set her right and all would be well. At least, that was what she hoped. She was still beaming at Jane with warm gratitude and affection, that is until she made mention of what Liza inevitably knew more of than her. It did not vanish immediately, as it took her a delay of a few moments for it to dawn on her quite what she was referring to. The moment she did realize of course, she blushed quite severely and looked away. "Y-yes. I should like to help you as much as I can, Jane," she replied unsteadily, a little too self-conscious that it ought to be something she heard about from Jane rather than the other way around. She admittedly preferred hearing from Jane before when it came to such things.

Her blush returned at the talk of William Parr as her embarrassment at having divulged quite so easily as well as the mere fact that she did indeed hold a fondness for a certain someone was highlighted. The mention of him possibly not knowing of her existence hit a nerve, though she did not hold it as Jane's fault, merely as an unfortunate reality she was quite sure was the case. Her face had turned rather miserable by then, almost as if she were going to cry. "I- I- I do not know, Jane." Liza wished she did; she wanted very much for him to take an interest in her but she had no idea how she was supposed to initiate such notice without either humiliating herself or finding out he was not in the slightest bit interested in her.

"That is to say... We have certainly not exchanged any sort of confession of tender feeling... Or... Or much of anything really..." Her voice trailed off into nothingness and she leaned toward Jane a little, feeling her eyes start to prickle with that tell tale sign of forthcoming tears. "What if he does not like me at all, Jane? I am a... a... a widow and not... not like you, Jane. Why should he take one look at me when there are plenty of other, prettier girls who have not married?" Elizabeth could not deny envying Jane, though not maliciously so. Jane was pretty and without the shadow of former marriage as she was.
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Jane Seymour
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Jane had not meant to embarrass her sister with her suggestion. She had simply wanted Elizabeth to know that she was not as perfect as she seemed to believe, and that Elizabeth was more knowledgeable about some subjects than she was. At the moment, she had no desire to know what it was like to be intimate with a man, but one day it would beneficial to understand such things. But only when she knew a betrothal was in her future. Until then, she was happy to remain blissfully ignorant. The less she knew, the less tempted she would be by the gentlemen who constantly sought out her company. Sometimes she believed that her disinterest encouraged them. What would one do, she wondered, if she suddenly kissed him? Would he still pursue her or would run off? Unfortunately she would never know, for it was not in her nature to be so bold. Not to mention that Edward would kill her if she acted in the least bit improper.

And her last question only seemed to disconcert Elizabeth more. She should have thought before she spoke, and worded her inquiry in a less blunt manner, but she supposed no matter how it was said, it still meant the same thing. Jane's heart went out to her sister as she confessed that she did not know what William Parr thought of her. Knowing Elizabeth, she simply worshiped him from afar and had done nothing to try to attract his attention. And that was, in truth, exactly how she could act or else she might appear wanton ... and that would probably attract nothing but their eldest brother's wrath. The Earl of Essex would have to somehow notice her. Jane loved to watch people, and from her observations of other women, she had a few ideas on how this could be done in an innocent, unassuming way while appearing completely accidental. She didn't think Elizabeth was ready for that yet, though. It could be part of the instruction Jane planned to give her and it would come after her sister had gained a bit of confidence in herself.

Without at least a modicum of self-esteem, none of her ideas would work.

One eyebrow rose into the air at Elizabeth's outburst, and she impulsively hugged her sister to her, uncaring of what anybody else in the library would think. They were involved in their own pursuits anyway, and if they noticed, then it didn't matter. Two sisters embracing was certainly nothing unusual. Releasing her, she took both of her sister's hands and smiled at her reassuringly. “The question you should be asking is why shouldn't he like you. You are every bit as attractive as I am, Elizabeth, and you are sweet and demure and you have the most beautiful smile. What is there not to like? I would guess that he probably has unmarried women throwing themselves at him all the time, probably more because of his wealth and title than anything else. But you like him for him, and that is most likely the kind of woman that every man wishes for. I rather doubt that being married before will matter, and … so I have heard … some men prefer more experienced women. He just needs to notice you, and maybe that is something I can help you with as well.”
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Elizabeth Oughtred
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Elizabeth's face took on a look of surprise as she was pressed into an embrace. However, she was very more than happy to hug her back, in fact she was thankful for it. There were some things that could only be comforted with an embrace from someone you cared about. The fact that there were other people in the library and that they could be looking if they so wished to, she didn't take pains to think about.

The embrace ended and Liza found herself on the receiving end of a look of reassurance from Jane. She wished she could whole heartedly believe what her sister was saying but she could not. Why would William Parr ever look her way? She was a timid shrew of a girl, not even confident enough to think of herself as the full-grown woman she was. She blushed at the compliments and turned her eyes toward the floor in embarrassment. She didn't think herself in possession of such qualities though disputing as such would insinuate that she thought Jane a liar, which she certainly did not think, though she did think in that instance her sister was perhaps a little biased.

Her face contorted into something akin to horror at the suggestion that he probably had women throwing themselves at him. She was of course, eager and grateful to be shown how to get William Parr's attention but still, the thought of having possible competition on such a scale... "Do you think so, Jane?" she blurted out, her brows knitting together in consternation. "Do you think he really has so many women in pursuit of him?"

Liza bit her lip slightly and looked down at her hands which currently clutched at the front of her dress, before looking back up again. "Do you really think you could help me? That you could teach me how to make him see me? Is it even possible?" She bit the inside of her lip slightly. "I should be forever grateful to you, Jane, if you could... Though suppose he notices me and decides he'd rather have not?" She dismissed the thought after a few moments of thinking. If it were to happen she'd deal with it then but for now... Well if there were unmarried women flinging themselves at him then she had to act fast. At least she intended to in theory. "I am lucky to have sister like you," she suddenly declared with a smile of admiration.
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Jane Seymour
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Perhaps mentioning that the object of her sister's affection probably had women throwing themselves at her was the wrong thing to say. Jane had not known that Elizabeth would see such women as competition. It was not the way that she had meant it. She had been trying to point out that men didn't like being pursued for their wealth and titles, but preferred those who liked them because of who they were and not what they had. In truth, she did not know if that was the case or not, but it seemed rather logical to her. But men were men and perhaps they thought much differently than women did.

It also seemed to her that they preferred to do the pursuing … or at least they did when it came to her. She gave them no encouragement whatsoever and that seemed to make them more adamant to win her affections. Jane really had no idea what she would do if she actually fancied a particular gentleman. She would not be able to rebuff him the way she did everyone else, yet she could not act too eager either. To let him know very subtly that she was interested in would probably be the best way to proceed, Knowing her sister's shyness, that would be all that she would be able to manage. And that … at least in Jane's opinion … would be perfect.

But first she had to catch his eye … and in a seemingly accidental way.

“I would guess he does,” she said, “but I doubt he enjoys women throwing themselves at him. I think that would get annoying after awhile. I would guess that a man likes a more demure woman, like yourself, who would allow him to do the wooing. All he needs to do is notice you and I think the rest will take care of itself.

“And yes, I think I can help you attract that notice. If for some reason he doesn't like you, then you will know that he is not the right one for you. Not to mention that he would have no taste at all if he rejects someone such as yourself. But we are getting ahead of ourselves. First, come to my apartments tomorrow and I will began to teach you some of the court dances. And then we will take the rest from there.”

Jane smiled when Elizabeth professed to be lucky to have her as a sister. All of her family was precious to her, but she truly enjoyed the role of older sibling and she was closer to Elizabeth than she was to her two older brothers. Perhaps it was because they were so much alike. “I think I am the lucky one,” she said simply.
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Isabel Leigh
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