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de Salinas, Maria
Topic Started: Sep 19 2010, 03:33 PM (135 Views)
Maria de Salinas
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M A R I A D E S A L I N A S

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* abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
the darkness deepens; lord with me abide.
when other helpers fail and comforts flee,
help of the helpless, o abide with me. .

HEY THERE. THE NAME IS FIONA, AND I AM PERFECTLY AGED.
I'VE BEEN ROLEPLAYING FOR ABOUT TOO LONG
AND MY OTHER CHARACTERS WOULD BE JANE POPINCOURT & MAGDALEN DACRE. I FOUND FKAC AT WHERE YOU FOUND US. OH, BY THE WAY, I READ THE RULES. WANT PROOF?
THE CODE WORD IS POPCORN
WANT TO REACH ME? HERE'S MY IM: DONTLETMEFLYAWAY

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“In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”
I feel the words, heavy upon my tongue, though bring myself to utter them through parted lips as I cross myself. I am bound by loyalty and oath to serve my princess, my rightful queen, and my Infanta. I shall not be negligent with my duty to the woman I both love and adore, yet my immortal soul longs for the release from the lie that binds me. “My last confession was a fortnight ago.” Two weeks. I was both a sinner and a fool to stumble so easily into the trap of the devil. Was I so weak? Or the devil so strong? You are my strength, O God. Yet, even as I recited the words over and over in my head, I felt my spine prickle with fear. Would God abandon us in the country? Would God not bring his loyal servants home to Spain? To the familiarity and warmth of the sun, and out of this cloud of rain and fog? Would he not save us?

“There was a man who requested my favor at the joust. .” My voice rose unbidden from my throat which seemed to constrict with each passing second. “He was handsome, and requested that I visit him in his chambers. I refused, but even afterwards I lusted for him.” My eyes dip in shame despite the fact that I cannot see the face of the English priest hearing my confession. I have never been married, nor lain with a man in my life. It seems odd that I should long for something that I have never experienced. Men are quite foreign to me. . English men even more so. I hear the steady breath of the man separated from me as he waits for me to continue. Part of me wants to flee, to tell him that was all I needed to confess. . but I was not clean yet. I felt soiled by the knowledge and the burden within my heart.

“I spilt wine over a woman’s gown. . and blamed it on one of the maids. She was beaten.” My lips feel dry, and I quickly move to lick them, time seeming to stand still as if the priest knew what it was on my heart. He wanted me to confess. God wanted me to confess. But I couldn’t. I could not betray her. I am a fair woman to those viewed worth less than myself by others. We are all the children of God, regardless of birth. Some of us were just born to work, others to teach, others. . to serve. I had always known this was what God had wanted of me. When I was summoned at the age of twelve to serve the princess, I knew then that my life was bound to hers. Not as just her servant, but as her friend. . her companion. I love her as I love myself, and in both in my life, (and if need by) my death, I shall serve her.

“I spoke badly of a companion of mine behind her back, and when confronted I denied it. . though I have since apologized for committing such a wrong.” While she had forgiven me, I wanted the forgiveness of God. I needed the forgiveness of God. While I was not always so zealous in confession, it was the unspoken sin which seemed to weight upon my soul so. I had pleaded with her to admit the truth of it, but she was firm in her resolve. The marriage had been consummated. I knew it with all my heart, but I had given her my oath not to tell a soul. . not even in confession, and I would hold to that despite my unquenchable desire to be rid of it. As I paused in my confession, I knew what he was thinking. ’Is this it? Is this all she did to have such guilt upon her soul?’

Breaking the silence with a uncomfortable clearing of my throat, I smoothed my hands over the deep green fabric of the my gown, as I searched my mind. There was something else. . . . there had to be something else. This was probably a first. . a good Catholic woman searching for a sin to confess. Who did such a thing? “My mother!” I started all too quickly, so much so that I could hear the priest jumping in surprise on the other side followed my the rustle of his robes as he sought to adjust. “I spoke harshly to her in a letter for advice she meant to be for my benefit.” My mother loved me. I knew that. . or at least she cared for me. My tongue (and even written words) are at times. . unpolished. I speak my mind, at times negligent of the feelings of others. While I realize my mistake after time, my conscious never seems to speak up at the correct time. I had always been chided for speak so brusquely.

At twenty-six, I am well beyond the ideal age for marriage, and secretly I am well aware of such a fact. But there is something about my mother pointing it out to me that arouses anger within my heart. I know she is right. . but at the same time I do not wish to admit it. What kind of man would she expect me to find within England? What kind of husband was an Englishman? Arthur, God rest his soul, was kind. . but soft. . nothing like a man I would have selected for myself. Though, I suppose when one is a foreigner born of mediocre lineage I do not have the privilege of being selective. Yet. . . perhaps there is still some hope, though I assure them all. . . My Spanish heart is as wild as the sea. But that shouldn't stop men from trying to tame it.

As I am forgiven and instructed of my penance, I feel as if I am in a trance. . . my stomach churned, but silently I hardened myself to the feeling. This was my duty, and I would do it proudly, and I would pray that God would forgive me. I am His. . and he would not abandon one of his own for the sake of another. Rising, I square my shoulders with dignity as I remove myself away from the chapel, back to the cold comfort of my room. Despite the warmth of the fire glowing hot in the hearth, I feel myself cold. I will be strong. For Catherine- daughter of Isabella, Queen of Spain. . . and for myself, and my future.

(( I know this is different than the other freeform apps, but I hope it works! ))
  • - - - - Roleplay Sample,
    Once upon a time. . . .
    view anything by jane popincourt/magdalen dacre
[align=center] THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY THATSNOTMYNAME ! @ CAUTION EDITED BY LANIE OF FKAC [/align]
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Catherine Willoughby
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vérité sans peur
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Make sure to head on over to the FACE CLAIM and claim your PB.
We want to know the person behind the character! INTRODUCE yourself.
Plot with other characters in the PLOT FORUM,
Want to join in threads with others, but not sure what to write first? Hop on into the THREADING EXTRAVAGANZA.
And be sure to post your info in the CONTACT LIST.[/align]
[align=center]"I must shape my own coat according to my cloth, but it will not be after the fashion of this world but fit for me."

Catherine is in 2 threads.
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