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| Called to Serve | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 24 2013, 09:46 PM (9,870 Views) | |
| Coengar2 | Jun 18 2013, 06:22 PM Post #91 |
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PART TWENTY TWO Dr.Itachi was checking over some notes on her computer screen when a knock on her door drew her attention. Looking towards the door she saw a long haired elderly woman standing there. "Master Yamada," the doctor spoke with a slight smile "It's been almost two weeks since i saw you last.I was beginning to get concerned." Yamada nodded "Yes,it took a bit longer to get the location of Akira Yamashida's seed out of Garuda than i had thought that it would." "Master Garuda was reluctant to tell of it's location?" Dr.Itachi wondered. "It's just Garuda now,"Master Yamada said sternly "And he was most uncooperative until i made him see reason. Has Ranma been impregnated yet?" Dr.Itachi shook her head "Not yet,I was going to wait for your call as long as i could but i must confess that we are nearing the end of her fertility cycle for the month." "How much time we do we have left?" Yamada inquired. Dr.Itachi thought for a moment as she called something up on her computer.After a moment of looking she replied "Two days at the most." Master Yamada held out a small wooden box "Then i suggest you best hurry and prepare for her procedure." Dr.Itachi took the box and opened it to reveal the metal cylinder inside. With a nod of her head she closed the box then reached for the phone. "Aya? It's Dr.Itachi,tell Ranma that her procedure has been scheduled for nine AM tomorrow morning. Good,then i'll see her then.Have a good evening." The doctor hung up and turned back to speak to Yamada only to find the aged martial arts master no longer there. After a couple of eye blinks,the doctor shrugged and reached back for the phone to prepare her staff for the procedure tomorrow. Nabiki and Ranma sat in the common room of Dorm Three half watching something on the television.Thier attention was caught by Aya walking up and putting a hand on Ranma's shoulder. "Hey Aya,what's up?" Ranma asked with a smile. "Looks like it's your turn at bat Ranma,"Aya said with a grin "the Doc just called and said that your procedure is set for nine AM tomorrow." Ranma's eye's widened as the rest of the girls in the room turned to look at her.Ranma was the last girl in the dorm to have the procedure and there was some speculation that perhaps she was not able to have it for some reason. "My procedure..."Ranma mumbled softly before looking up at Aya "I guess i'm ready for it." Aya nodded "Ok,i have to tell you this,campus rules, This is your last chance to opt out.If you don't then you have to go through with the procedure in the morning." Ranma thought for a moment "No,i'm not opting out.I can do this." Aya smiled "Good for you.Then tomorrow eat a light breakfast and report back here afterwards,you are excused from your classes for the day." Aya patted Ranma on the shoulder as she turned to leave "And don't worry,it'll all be fine,you'll see." After Aya left Ranma found herself surrounded by a pack of girls all offering advice and words to calm her as they told of thier own procedures.Through it all Ranma was mostly distracted by the feeling of Nabiki holding her hand. THE NEXT MORNING Ranma stood in the changing room the medical tech had led her to and had her change into a gown that barely covered much of anything. Ranma rubbed her arms "Ok,Ranma,"she muttered to herself "You can do this.You're just going to get pregnant,no big deal." Ranma's soft chuckles were interrupted by the tech reappearing. "You all set Ranma?" seeing the redhead nod the tech continured "Alright,just follow me and we'll get this over with and have you back in your dorm by lunch time." Lunch sounded good to Ranma who was bothered by the fact that she could only have a small breakfast that did not even come close to filling her up and she was starting to feel a bit peckish at the moment. The tech led Ranma down a short hallway and past a door which lead to the procedure room.There Ranma saw Dr.Itachi standing there in her scrubs with a warm smile on her face. "Welcome Ranma,you ready to become a mother this morning?' the doctor said jovially as she motioned for Ranma to procede to a padded table as the little redhead mumbled a quite agreement. "Now just lay back and let Asuko help put your feet in the stirups." Ranma laid back and blushed red as her gown slid up to show her private area to everyone in the room as her legs were put in position. Dr.Itachi noticed the blush and gave Ranma a reassuring pat as she chuckled "There's nothing to be embarassed about Ranma,we're all women here. Now let's begin shall we?" Dr.Itachi moved between Ranma legs,reaching over to a nearby tray the doctor picked up an instrument. "Alright,i'm going to start by inserting this into you,it will gently open your vagina a bit wider and allow me a clearer view. Now you will feel some slight pressure but it shouldn't be too bad." Ranma had her eyes closed and was trying not to think about anything entering her body,she barely flinched as she felt the instrument slowly spreading her wider. "Ok,all done Ranma,you're doing fine." The doctor spoke from between Ranma's legs "Now let's take a look,hmmm,well i wasn't expecting that i must say." "Expecting what?" Ranma asked with some nervousness. "You have a hymen my dear,surprising given your active lifestyle.It's a little torn but it's there,unfortunately we need to remove it as it will just get in the way.Asuko,hand me the numbness spray and a number two blade." Ranma felt a small puff of something cold and could feel the doctor's hands moving around. "Alright Ranma now comes the important part." The doctor said "We just slide the inseminator into place,load the seed into the chamber.Now,you're probably feel a little pressure here.Let me just make an adjustment, alright, we are in position, it all looks good and ready? Seed away." Ranma felt a small bit of pressure in her belly,not enough to really hurt but enough to feel uncomfortable. Then she felt all the things being removed from inside of her as her bed began to tip backwards raising her hips above her head. "There you are Ranma,we're all done.Now we want you to stay in this position for a hour to make sure that the seed remains in your womb for the best chance of impregnation.We'll check you in a couple of weeks to see if we made a baby today. So today you get to take it easy. Ok,Asuko take her away and don't let her down for an hour." With that the med tech pushed Ranma,bed and all,through another set of doors and into a recovery area where she noticed that she wasn't the only girl lying there with her hips in the air. As Ranma laid there her hand slowly rubbed it's way across her stomach. THREE WEEKS LATER "Good Grief,she's doing it again." Haruka groused as she passed Ranma and walked up to Nabiki. Nabiki looked up from her book "Who's doing what?" she inquired. "Ranma's staring at her stomach again." the blond haired girl said. Nabiki looked over at Ranma with a smirk "She's checking on her baby by using her ki to scan it.It's a martial arts thing i guess." "I get that i guess,"Haruka replied "But she's always doing it.You'd think that she was afraid that the kid was gonna turn up missing or something one day." Nabiki laughed "Personally i think she's still trying to come to grips that it's even in there in the first place." NERIMA Cologne locked up the door of the Neko Haten with a sigh then put the key away. The cafe had been home for the last couple of years and the scene of more than a few adventures. Not to mention that it had been very profitable. The Amazon Elder had had several very lucrative offers to sell the cafe but she had refused,not only was she somewhat attacted to the place,it was a resource that the tribe could use at a later date.Besides,there was the feeling in the pit of her stomach that was telling her to keep the place as it would come in handy someday. Cologne looked over at her great granddaughter and the blind duckboy beside her.It was a good thing that Mousse had never really developed his Ki sense because even from here the elder could sense the ki levels of the child now growing in Shampoo's belly and that ki felt very similiar to it's father,Ranma, both in strength and in feel. There was no doubt that Ranma was the child's father and like it's father would grow into a strong warrior. Cologne knew that Mousse would have gone beserk had he known about the child let alone that it was Ranma's. "Come children,the taxi is here to take us to the airport.In a few days we will be back in the village." Cologne spoke as she turned to head to the cab. Shampoo followed with a sigh and Mousse followed with a head full of dreams of marrying Shampoo once they returned back home. With that the Amazons entered the taxi and were soon flying back to China,two of them would never return to Nerima again. Edited by Coengar2, Jun 28 2013, 12:11 PM.
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| Wharpt | Jun 19 2013, 01:07 AM Post #92 |
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Superior Member
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I'll go out on a prognostitory limb here and say Cologne and Mousse will not return to Nerima. Shampoo and her child (daughter?) will be back, a lot sooner than most will believe. Say, less than three years? The other possibility, Cologne and the child, is an even more troubling scenario. Either way, this puts Ranma's children back in close proximity to each other with a resultant increase in Chaos.
Edited by Wharpt, Jun 19 2013, 01:14 AM.
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| Dumbledork | Jun 19 2013, 05:30 PM Post #93 |
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It's been a while. Ranma has finally been processed. Can't wait for more. |
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| Ozzallos | Jul 22 2013, 11:57 PM Post #94 |
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33,589,041 XP to next level
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Just burned through all 7 pages. I'm blunt at times, so please don't take offense. The writing is good even if the pace seems to move quickly at times. Character evolutions are convincing enough. Once you get past certain issues, the up and down rollar coaster of mystery is a nice hook throughout the work. i actually like the way Ranma is continually facinated by the development of the life inside the womb for some reason. Maybe it's the fact that its awe inspiring for her. Okay, so the parts I'm not so fond of. The entire pregnancy thing seems vastly contrived. There is no dissention at any point along the way for the people written in as Ranma's pregnancy advocates. Sure, there are some light sprinkles of doubt here and there but Ranma's friends appear to serve one purpose and one purpose only: Plot fodder to push Ranma toward the inevitable conclusion that she too should become pregnant. in fact, any party that would dissent is physically removed from the story either by author fiat or by using the hand as a plot device. Not only is pregnancy a good idea, it is actually being pushed as character development... A baby will most certainly calm Ranma dan and make her a better person, right? Even that last sentance wouldn't be so bad, but the entire implementation makes the writing feel like a story justifying the plot hook, not a story being told with a hook to draw the reader in. Not sure if that makes any sense whatsoever but it stands out in a bad way. IMO all day long, of course. This is a guy who uses various methods to justify is chanisms, so take it for what its worth. I like quite a bit about the story so far, just not the underpinnings. Since I'm assuming the pregancy is a forgone conclusion, I'm can't wait until we just leave the entire government sponsored pregs facility shennanigans behind just to get to less dilluted plot waters. I'd also be lying if I didn't hope that I hope Ranma dispenses massive burnination to everybody involved in this (hopefully) ill-fated scheme of manipulation, rape and subterfuge. If that goes unanswered or glossed over with "Oh, it's fine because of my baby," I will rage. Lastly, you're paying investing so much in the fact that Ranma is facinated with the growth of the baby you would think at some point soon she'll realize similarities between hers and empress girl. Just sayin'. Lastly, lastly... Mousse and Shampoo. I hope as a writer you've considered the cause an affect here too. Shampoo is effectively carrying Ranma's child and that is going to come out. There's no groundworkd to making this work. I would suggest a brief mention of 411 as well as everything you've done, because eventially the question of "Who's the father?" is going to come up. It's an answer that doesn't end well if left unaddressed. |
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| Coengar2 | Jul 26 2013, 01:54 AM Post #95 |
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Greetings Everyone Just a quick note to let you know that i am still alive and have not given up on this story. I had hand surgery a few weeks ago and am finally,after several sessions of physical therapy,getting back the ability to move all of my fingers on my hand again. One handed typing sucks and i'm not real good at it so it will be at least a week or two before i regain enough use of my hand to feel comfortable enough to get back to writing. As currently planned,there is only one more chapter to go and then three epilogues,and i will confess that my muse and i aren't in agreement as to how we want this last chapter to go,but i am currently working on it so please bear with me. I want to say thanks to all those who have left comments on this story as i try to learn from each of them,even the ones from people not liking what i have written so far. Just a note,if you're interested i have a few stories posted on Fanfiction.net in the Ranma section under the name of Coengar2 that you might like to check out.I'd love to get some feedback on them and if any of them are worth continuing. Anyway,thanks for reading and don't worry,i'll be finishing this up soon Coengar2 |
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| Tai Khan | Aug 15 2013, 02:54 AM Post #96 |
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Wonder what would happen if Ranma died in childbirth? And then Nabiki found out that Ranma's selection and pregnancy had all been deliberately arranged from the get-go? Not to mention Genma's assassination or that the Amazon's were bought off with Ranma's stolen seed, or that while both Cologne and Happosai knew what was going on...they did nothing to warn them or stop it?
Edited by Tai Khan, Aug 15 2013, 02:59 AM.
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| Coengar2 | Sep 10 2013, 01:02 PM Post #97 |
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PART TWENTY THREE (Part One) The Qinghai Province of China Cologne softly sighed as she gazed at the slowly passing scenery from the top of the oxen pulled cart that she and others were currently riding in. With the Amazon Elder was her great granddaughter and the blind duck boy who kept up an almost constant dialog of his plans for the wonderful future that he and her great granddaughter would soon be enjoying once they were finally back at thier village. Also with them were two Amazon warriors who had met them as previously arranged at the lake where the float plane that Cologne had chartered had landed. The plane had been expensive but the Cat Cafe had been very profitable so Cologne could afford it. Besides,she did not want Shampoo travelling through the wilderness of China where the roads were most often barely two uneven ruts worn into the dirt. Especially not in Shampoo's current condition. A condition that while barely more than a month old was becoming harder to miss to those skilled in the ability to sense Ki. Shampoo's child was still early in it's developement but was already giving off a strong Ki signature that would only get stronger as the child neared its birthing day. The child would be truly a warrior of legend someday in the future. The ox drawn cart made its lumbering way over a small rise and in the distance the travellers could make out the great wall that surrounded thier village. "Han Tao,"Cologne spoke to the younger of the two warriors with them "Run ahead to the village and let the gate guards know of our arrival and tell the Council that i wish to address them as soon as possible." Han Tao nodded as she jumped out of the cart and ran towards the village,soon becoming a shrinking dot in the distance as she easily outpaced the much slower cart. By the end of an hour Cologne and Shampoo were standing inside a house that neither had set foot in in over two years. Mousse had run off to let his own family know of his return after he had dropped off the two warrior women's luggage that he had carried in his hidden weapons space. Cologne looked around with a satisfied look on her ancient face. As per her instructions,the house had been aired out and fresh linen was placed on the beds and fresh food had been restocked in the cooking area. The Elder laided a small hand on her great granddaughters shoulder "Come Child,we should put away our luggage and things and then you should rest a bit.It has been a long journey." "As you say Hibachan." Shampoo replied with a slight tired smile "It is good to be back home,even if it is without my Airen." Cologne shook her head "We have talked about this Xian Pu.Ranma is no longer your Airen,he now walks a different path from you. But at least you have something of his to carry on into the future." She laid a hand softly against Shampoo's stomach "I believe that no one else pursuing Ranma's hand can make the same claim." Shampoo smiled as she rubbed her still flat stomach "That is true,at least i carry his daughter and the others have nothing." Cologne smiled at her heir's words then nudged the girl gently with her staff "Now,more unpacking,less gloating Xian Pu." "Yes Hibachan." the lavender haired girl responded with a chuckle as she moved her luggage back to her bedroom. Cologne stood in the Council Hall having spent the last hour and a half telling her six fellow Elders all about the events and happenings that went on in Nerima over the last two years. She had just finished explaining about the SIS project and of Ranma Saotome's role in it. "So you are telling us,"An Elder with blue robes and a waist length braid of white hair began as she leaned forward "That not only has the Godslayer's curse made him eligable for this breeding program but that he has gone through with it?" Cologne nodded "Indeed Mist.If what i was told is correct then Ranma will be with child in the near future." Lotion,the keeper of amazon lore spoke up "If that is true,than by the laws of our tribe Ranma's status changes from husband to female of the tribe. With her fighting skills that makes her a full warrior at the least and possibly even a battle leader or even warmistress at the most." That statement led to some discussion among the Elders as to what Ranma's status really was. It was soon agreed that she would be considered a full warrior and a warmistress in training as there were many techniques and skills that the Amazons still wanted to teach her. "But did you not agree with the Guiding Hand that you would not teach Ranma any more battle techniques in exchange for the seed that would allow Xian Pu to concieve her child?" Perfume inquired,her brown robes rustling as the aged Elder moved to make herself more comfortable. "While it is true that I agreed not to teach her anymore,that does not mean that other Elders and warmistresses can not teach her in the future." Cologne smirked. The other Elders shared a chuckled at that statement. "However now we have a new problem to face," Lotion spoke up again "With Ku Lon's Granddaughter now pregnant the law states that she must have a husband. By tradition,this would normally be the one that got her in the condition in the first place but as we know,in this case that is not possible. The law gives her a month to find a suitable husband or else the Council must select one for her." "What about my grandson Mu Tsu?" asked Elder Bi Dai "He has loved her since they were children. He even disobeyed my order not to go chasing after her when she left the village." Cologne shook her head,she was not looking forward to doing this. "Bi Dai, as per our agreement when i returned to Japan with Xian Pu to claim her husband, i watched over Mu Tsu, i housed him,clothed him and i taught him a trade,how to cook. I neither helped nor hindered his pursuit of my great granddaughter's affections even when it was in direct conflict with my own plans and as i agreed i have kept a logbook of his disobidience,his failures,his interferences, all the times he embarassed himself because he refused to wear his glasses." Cologne sighed as she pulled a book out from behind her back "We have not always seen eye to eye on things Bi Dai but we have always dealt truthfully and fairly with each other. I am sorry that i must give you this and i am sorry that i will not consider Mu Tsu as a possible husband for Xian Pu." As the book was passed over to a concerned looking Bi Dai Cologne continued "If there is one bright spot,all of Mu Tsu's fights against Ranma Saotome have made him very skilled with his hidden weapon technique,even if he never came close to beating Ranma." While Cologne was talking with her fellow Elders, Shampoo had spent her time walking around the village reaquinting herself with everything. She had just walked past the challenge log in the village center when a loud rough voice called out to her. Looking around for the source of the voice,her lavender eyes widened as she noticed someone approaching her. The woman,if she could be called that, stood well over six feet tall with short black hair and the bulky muscle mass one would see on a champion body builder. The amazon had an almost masculine appearance and it was one that Shampoo knew well for she had defeated the girl in the champion's tournament two years ago. "Dowel." Shampoo growled out. "That's right little kitten." Dowel snarled back "You have some nerve showing your face back around here." The two Amazons stood in the village center and stared each other down..... Edited by Coengar2, Sep 10 2013, 08:09 PM.
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| Tai Khan | Jul 26 2014, 02:45 PM Post #98 |
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Just curious as to whether or not this is going to be continued, and if the noted issues some of us had with it have been considered. |
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| Coengar2 | Jul 28 2014, 05:49 PM Post #99 |
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Greetings Everyone Just wanted to let you know that this story IS NOT DEAD. In fact, the final three epilogues are almost done. However, the current Amazon arc still has two chapters to go and then we return to Campus 5 and Ranma and Nabiki's return home. I must confess that my muse and I are not seeing eye to eye on how these chapters should go and I must admit that I have a bit of writer's block concerning them. But I am working on the story and hope to post a new chapter very soon. Also, I have taken my reviewers comments under consideration and have been thinking on how to inject some of their suggestions into the story. So thank you for your patience and don't give up hope a new posting is on its way! Thanks for the reviews and comments Coengar2 |
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The other possibility, Cologne and the child, is an even more troubling scenario.
Either way, this puts Ranma's children back in close proximity to each other with a resultant increase in Chaos.


2:53 PM Jul 11