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The Bad Cut; I live. Again.
Topic Started: Aug 1 2012, 03:53 PM (24,791 Views)
Ozzallos
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frice2000
Aug 28 2012, 03:05 AM
And after another hundred hair growth incidents Ranma gives up on martial arts as she's discovered her love of hair styling and cutting...

Anyway, nice add. But the Genma and the fake whisker scene does seem a bit pointless unless whoever he got them from are planned to be a big problem later. Also after this scene would hope that Ranma starts looking more for her own solution then just relying on Genma since that doesn't seem to be going very well and Genma just showed his greed and likeness to withhold said whisker if he didn't get two. Though Genma in this story actually seeing how Ranma's pretty much perpetually in girl form and what that means for any possible marriage, Nodoka when she finds them, and his other plans, would think he might just give Ranma the whisker and make a sacrifice to restore his sons masculinity.
This is the inroads for Ranma and his misgivings over Genma's ability to deliver.
Hope for a cure and marriage will hold out longer than Ranma's patience.
Nodoka... By the time I'm done there, her reaction to manly Ranma will be the last thing on your mind :)
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Dumbledork
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Is that a promise?
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violetshadows
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I actually liked the scene with Genma, it seemed like a humorous interlude between the seriousness of the bit with Shampoo and whatever's comming next. My only real problem with it is that it's mostly physical comedy, which while in character with the source material, loses something when transitioned to a written medium. It's not even that the blocking or the narrative or even that the joke is bad, it's just kind of lackluster; maybe it would work better for me with snappier diologue, especially on Ranma's part - he's still kind of down, which while understandable doesn't work well within the context of the scene.
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Tai Khan
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Something feels off about the interaction between Ranma and Kasumi, considering Ranma's earlier behavior towards the Tendo sisters.

Either Kasumi truly is completely out of touch with reality... Or she's attempting to make Ranma as uncomfortable as she can in the Tendo home, while hiding behind a mask of obliviousness.

When Kasumi suggested that Shampoo, the foreigner that apparently intended to kill Ranma, stay in the same room as Ranma...I thought she'd completely lost any and all common sense, rose-tinted glasses notwithstanding. But then for Ranma to capitulate? I would have expected Ranma's reply to such a suggestion to be more along the lines of: "You want her to stay? Fine. Then you can have her stay in YOUR room! I'll send flowers to your funeral."
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wolfhunter
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Ummm... This is the girl who proceeded to layer cat after cat on Ranma when they first found out about the Neko-ken and his intense fear of cats.
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Tai Khan
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Yep. Seems almost as if she's a closet sadist, delighting in causing Ranma discomfort and presenting a mask of obliviousness to counteract any possible reprisal for her little cruelties.

It should also be pointed out that it was Kasumi who gave Akane her mallet, with instructions to use it if Ranma should try anything perverted while they were alone in the house.

Still, as I said previously, this third chapter just seems off.

There is also Nabiki's unusual act of compassion towards Shampoo, in the form of bringing her home instead of letting Tofu deal with her. Shampoo is the same girl that was perfectly willing to injure, if not outright kill, Nabiki in order to get at Ranma. Then there is the matter of Nabiki's decision in the previous chapter to attempt to get on better terms with Ranma, which bringing Shampoo home to stay with them will clearly undermine. I'd expect such behavior from Akane, a character known for showing compassion and understanding towards Ranma's enemies, rather than Nabiki.

If it could be shown, say at Tofu's clinic, that Nabiki had some inkling of Shampoo's change in attitude from Ranma's wannabe killer to Ranma's slave/property, then it would be easier to accept and believe.
Edited by Tai Khan, Aug 30 2012, 02:53 AM.
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violetshadows
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Or shampoo could have demanded to be taken to Ranma and even badly hurt, Nabiki didn't want any piece of that, so she did. But yeah, a scene with Shampoo and Nabiki originally at the clinic would not go amiss. Or is this something that's going to be addressed in the following scene in an aside when they revisit; it could work there as well? Can't remember how she got to the Tendo's house to begin with though and I'm honestly a little too lazy to go look it up; if it was Nabiki that did it, just write it off as her not wanting to be an accessory to an assault / murder conviction even if the self-defense plee would be kind of strong.
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Jans
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Its probably a lot more likely that Nabiki isn't a hideous caricature of a human being and, after seeing someone beaten senseless and almost (in her eyes) killed, she could make sure that person wasn't going to have even more cruelty dumped on her.

You know, just a thought.
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Ozzallos
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A lot to address here... Hmmm.

Nabiki and compassion. Assuming a real situation and not simply Ranma hijinks, I don't see her leaving a broken, bleeding girl in the streets without at least calling for medical attention. This isn't just the average curb stomp and there are consequences to potentially leaving a body on the streets, even if said body had tried to kill her. Another thing I have to consider is that the Nabiki in the first half of the series isn't nearly as bad as the second half. She goes from annoyance to downright ruthless with a flick of a pen, so I have to decide which to use.

Kasumi. Fully agree with wolfhunter. Kasumi is just south of right-headed, frankly and that's the way I'm portraying her here. It's up to you to guess whether she's got an agenda or just living in her own little world. I'll take another look at her suggestion with Shampoo in the guest room and Ranma's reaction rolls, however.

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Tai Khan
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Its probably a lot more likely that Nabiki isn't a hideous caricature of a human being and, after seeing someone beaten senseless and almost (in her eyes) killed, she could make sure that person wasn't going to have even more cruelty dumped on her.


Just taking Shampoo to Tofu's for treatment demonstrated that Nabiki isn't totally heartless, despite what Shampoo had attempted to do to her in order to get at Ranma. There was no immediate monetary profit and little likelihood of such in the future. About the only thing Nabiki might get out of such an action, in the future, would be a sense of goodwill towards herself by Shampoo, but there would be no guarantee of such. Still, doing so cost Nabiki little and may present future potential earnings (monetary and otherwise).

Nabiki then bringing Shampoo home to recuperate at the Dojo...

This action had potential loss written all over it, as presented in the story so far: the loss of funds to feed and shelter another individual, time and effort to care for said individual, potential future expenditures due to the presence of said individual if she still intended to attempt to kill Ranma, potential legal entanglements if said individual were ever successful in her endeavor, etcetera, etcetera. And none of that even takes into consideration how Ranma would feel about the Tendos taking in and caring for someone that wanted to KILL him and that was willing to go through them to do so.

No, I just can't see Nabiki as being this altruistic or self-deceiving...unless she'd had some indication that Shampoo's intentions had changed. Otherwise, the immediate and potential losses far outweighed any potential future gains.
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Ozzallos
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Tai Khan
Sep 1 2012, 12:03 AM
Its probably a lot more likely that Nabiki isn't a hideous caricature of a human being and, after seeing someone beaten senseless and almost (in her eyes) killed, she could make sure that person wasn't going to have even more cruelty dumped on her.


Just taking Shampoo to Tofu's for treatment demonstrated that Nabiki isn't totally heartless, despite what Shampoo had attempted to do to her in order to get at Ranma. There was no immediate monetary profit and little likelihood of such in the future. About the only thing Nabiki might get out of such an action, in the future, would be a sense of goodwill towards herself by Shampoo, but there would be no guarantee of such. Still, doing so cost Nabiki little and may present future potential earnings (monetary and otherwise).

Nabiki then bringing Shampoo home to recuperate at the Dojo...

This action had potential loss written all over it, as presented in the story so far: the loss of funds to feed and shelter another individual, time and effort to care for said individual, potential future expenditures due to the presence of said individual if she still intended to attempt to kill Ranma, potential legal entanglements if said individual were ever successful in her endeavor, etcetera, etcetera. And none of that even takes into consideration how Ranma would feel about the Tendos taking in and caring for someone that wanted to KILL him and that was willing to go through them to do so.

No, I just can't see Nabiki as being this altruistic or self-deceiving...unless she'd had some indication that Shampoo's intentions had changed. Otherwise, the immediate and potential losses far outweighed any potential future gains.


I didn't do my job here in that the implication is she followed/insisted on returning with nabiki, not that nabiki is being nice in any way shape or form. In fact the talk of getting arrested should steer the reader toward that end, but I should probably add more steering :) Will shore that up some, maybe some doctors orders as well.
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frice2000
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Shampoo does show proficiency in basically mind control martial arts techniques... Her accepting treatment, wiping the memory of said treatment and possible reporting to authorities from the doctor or police's minds, all while in view of a frightened out of her mind Nabiki, possibly with an added threat thrown her way would be interesting. Especially since that means two people she doesn't ascribe much value in canon would in your story be amongst the most dangerous and to be feared and/or respected. Then her further seeking protection from Ranma for some perceived threat from Shampoo... Could be fun to play with.

Also my brief mention of mind control makes me recall the just released AMG scanlation (revealed that Belldandy basically removes Kei's sexual desire through some poorly defined system that activates on mortal/immortal relationships if you were wondering) and makes me want to inquire about the status of the next part of Hell is a Martial Artist and it's lack of own bits here. Would love to see what you have.
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Tai Khan
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Such attempts at manipulation (ie - mind control, brainwashing, "shampooing", etc.) seems highly unlikely considering the extent of the injuries Shampoo received from Ranma. Especially during, or immediately following, treatment for said injuries.

Then there's Tofu, himself, to consider. It's intimated in canon that he is quite a skilled martial artist in his own right, although we're not really shown such; skilled enough that Ranma appears wary or impressed upon their first meeting. I'd find it unlikely, but not impossible, that Shampoo would be able to use any mind-altering/controlling techniques upon Tofu, even if she'd been in full health and unimpaired by injuries.

This is not to say that she couldn't have done such to Nabiki upon leaving the clinic, however. Still, again, Shampoo's mobility appears to have been seriously hampered due to the beating she suffered at Ranma's hand and as such even Nabiki might have little difficulty in fending off Shampoo if she were to attempt to get close enough to attempt anything.
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Ozzallos
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“Thank you, Akane-chan,” Kasumi favored her sister with a gentle smile as if she hadn’t even noticed the her initial bluster or subsequent embarrassment. Ranma’s own humor over the matter abruptly turned to ash as the sister took notice of her own red hair. The martial artist could almost swear there was an almost unholy gleam in her eyes accompanying the smile now. “And when you get back, we can style your hair again since it seems to have grown back! Wouldn’t that be nice?”

Ranma’s mouth opened to protest then closed as the eldest sibling smiled upon him with all the innocence in the world. The Saotome’s cheek twitched as she force the smile again. “Heh-heh, yeah. Again.”

With that, the eldest Tendo began to collect the spent dishes and made her way back to the kitchen to leave Akane staring and Ranma grumbling in her wake. The martial artist shook her head at the injustice of it all and decided to take her own leave, returning to the back door.

“Boy, where do you think you’re going?” Genma queried in a gruff tone that prompted Ranma to stop and stare at his father with bland look that indicated that should have been painfully obvious where she was going. It was for her, after all... Painful and obvious.

“Look, the sooner I get Miss Amazon out there out of my hair, the better,” Ranma replied edgily. “If that means takin her to the doctor to fix her up, then I’m all over it.”

“Then you’ll be taking Akane with you.” Genma ordered. Ranma rolled her eyes as Soun happily chimed in.

“Yes, Akane. You can return your book with Ranma.” Soun nodded happily.

“But--!”

It was the only protest that she would be allowed as Kasumi returned from the kitchen for another stack of plates. “I think that’s a wonderful idea, Akane-chan.”

The Youngest sister’s gaze flicked from one parent to the other, then Kasumi and finally Ranma who waited by the back door. The redhead produced an uncaring shrug and opened the door to depart for the outside world. A grumpy frown flickered upon Akane’s face. “Baka.”

Lacking any other option to extricate herself from the situation the girl sighed and rocked to her feet, grabbing the book her sister had set beside her to follow the martial artist. Five minutes later an uneasy silence floated between the three as they walked, or in Shampoo’s case, hobbled down the streets of Nerima on their way to Doctor Ono Tofu’s practice. Ranma kept a cautionary eye on the Amazon and while she was sure the girl was no longer a threat there was no guarantee that she wouldn’t just fall over and had thus far refuse either her or Akane’s assistance.

Akane likewise kept an eye on the chinese girl, but the silence was getting to her. There were too many unanswered questions surrounding the martial artist. Why was Ranma still a girl? What did noodles have to do with it? Why did she have an Amazon assassin trying to kill her anyway?

‘Not that I can’t sympathise,’ Akane decided grumpily from the privacy of her thoughts, glancing up at the martial artist easily balanced atop the fence running parallel to their sidewalk path. Ranma glanced down at the girl, noting her attention. After several seconds of study, the martial artist produced a patronizing smile.

“Ask me out on a date if you’re gonna stare like that.”

“Who would want to date YOU?!” Akane snapped back and hurled the thick medical book in hand at Ranma, who it turn caught it easily and began to study the tome. Akane’s eyes widened as she realised her mistake. “And give that back!”

“The Concise Medical Encyclopedia,” Ranma flipped through pages as if interested in the contents all while maintaining her nigh unnatural balance atop the fence. She cocked her head, ignoring Akane’s simmering below as she turned a page, cocking her head curiously. “Huh. Learn something new everyday.”

“You don’t have to be such a jerk!” Akane stomped with bluster, causing Ranma to pause in her fense walking for the first time. She pulled her attention from the book and favored Akane with a lidded stare.

“And you don’t have to be such a macho hothead.” She rebuked cooly, fully willing to indulge the Tendo in the staring match. After a full thirty seconds of simmering, Akane turned her nose up at the redhead and resumed her path of travel with a contemptuous sniff, passing Shampoo who watched the entire situation with detached curiosity. Ranma shrugged and returned her attention to the book, hopping down to escort Shampoo now that Akane had taken the lead.

They caught up with the youngest Tendo several minutes later as she waited for them just outside the clinic with a grumpy expression on her face. This time Ranma simply snapped the thick book she had been thumbing through closed and tossed it to her as they passed. “You can thank me later.”

Akane’s expression crinkled but she managed to hold her tongue and followed the redhead and lavender haired chinese girl into the office. Two patients later and Doctor Tofu was hovering over the chinese girl while the Akane and Ranma looked on. He probed her left arm with light fingertips and slowly began to test its range of motion. He smiled at the girl. “Tell me when it hurts.”

No comprehension was found in her expression and Ranma was found pulling out a Chinese translation book- the very same one Nabiki had remanded to him last night. After a good deal of page turning, Ranma pieced together a phrase.

“Ah, Gàosu dāng tā... shānghài?” Ranma asked hesitantly and to her surprise, the girl nodded. Tofu got to work cycling the arm through its range of motion. Whatever advisement Ranma had given, however never translated into Shampoo’s actions as she would wince in obvious pain, but never once request the doctor to stop.

“As I’ve told Akane chan before, i don’t necessarily condone violence,” Ono Tofu lectured reasonably as he worked, pressing several points along the girl’s arm. “Especially at this level.”

Ranma merely shrugged. “Wasn’t givin’ me much choice.”

“So Nabiki-chan told me,” The physician nodded, moving down to the leg to test its range while Shampoo herself stared at the arm, moving it with a minimum of pain. “I appreciate your economy in light of the situation; everything appears easily fixed... Another reason why I’ve chosen to allow the dojo to handle the situation discretely.”

‘Really wish ya hadn’t,’ Ranma thought at the doctor, then found Akane and the doctor staring at her. After a minute of puzzling, she scratched the back of her head with embarrassment. “Ah, said that out loud, didn’t I?”

“Ahem,” Ono Tofu coughed, politely ignoring the missive. “Regardless, Nabiki has advised me that her status is rather indeterminate at the moment. While I’ll be happy to provide whatever assistance I can, what you actually decide to do with her is up to you.”

‘SHIP HER BACK!’ Ranma’s mind screamed at her consciousness while another portion couldn’t help but to note that the Chinese girl fell squarely under the ‘you broke it, you fix it’ clause of her martial arts code. She hadn’t meant to hurt the girl so badly...

‘...Okay, maybe I did,’ Ranma admitted to herself with a hint of guilt, remembering how thoroughly she had lost any and all patience with the girl. that in itself was disconcerting and she knew exactly where to place the blame. ‘Stupid girl body.’

“We’ll take good care of her,” Akane responded in an upbeat tone and a smile for the doctor who retruned his own easy smile.

“I’m sure you will, Akane-chan,” Tofu returned with his own easy smile. Akane blushed slightly with the attention, prompting Ranma to roll her own eyes and insert herself into the moment.

“And then we’ll ship her back.”

“How can you just say that!” Akane’s mood flipped like a switch and the girl turned a perturbed stare onto Ranma. “You’re the one who did this!”

“Because she was about to turn your sister into a pancake!” Ranma pushed back with nerves still raw from uncooperative biology. She jabbed a thumb at the chinese girl on the examination table. “Do you know how many times that chick has popped up in the middle of the night swinging a blade for my throat?!”

“Probably because you did something perv--!”

“Girls,” Tofu spread his hands out patiently, emoting a uneasy smile while Shampoo simply watched the argument go back and forth. Both quieted down, staring at the doctor. “Regardless, I’ve done what I can for now. “ The physician turned back to the former Amazon as if she were liable to understand him. “You should experience less pain now, though I’ll ask you not to strain anything for at least a couple of weeks.”

Ranma was rapidly flipping through the translation guid again to piece together a phrase. “Ah, less pain, no strain... Téngtòng jiào qīng, ah, um, méiyǒu yìngbiàn.”

The chinese girl nodded hesitantly. “Shampoo understand.”

“If that’s settled, I have another patient in ten minutes,” The doctor nodded and moved along side Ranma to pat her on the back. “Take good care of--”

The redhead’s hand blurred up and intercepted it at the wrist, locking it in a powerful vice to the Doctors surprise. Crystal blue eyes held his, glinting with impatience. “That ain’t happenin’ again, Doc.”

Akane’s eyes widened with alarm, “What are you doing?!”

The doctor tried to withdraw his hand, but would have sooner had better luck if it was rooted in cement then produced a sheepish smile. “Of course not. My apologize.”

Ranma held the hand a moment longer and allowed her stare to burrow into the doctor to ensure her displeasure over being manipulate was clearly conveyed, then let let her hand snap open. Tofu retracted the immobilized limb and rubbed the tender joint even as Akane’s temper spiraled out of control.

“You... you... YOU!” Akane’s fists balled and she stomped over toward Ranma until the lethal hiss of steel being deployed intervened. Silver flashed through the air and the next thing the youngest Tendo knew, the cold length of jian was being held at her throat. Akane’s eyes slid down the length, finding Shampoo’s no nonsense gaze staring back.

“No.”

She didn’t speak it with nearly the as Akane Tendo nor the fluency, but the Shampoo’s command when paired with the blade at the Tendo’s throat made the meaning crystal clear.
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Tai Khan
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Hmm...interesting.

I could see Ranma making the comment to Tofu of... "Do no harm, my ass!" Referring, of course, to the Hippocratic Oath taken by many in the medical professions throughout the world in various forms. "Just like the others, nothing more than trying to manipulate me into doing what YOU want, without even bothering to ask what I want or think. Maybe I should get a 'second opinion' on Shampoo's condition to see if she's really as laid up as you're implying, or if you're trying to 'manipulate' the situation to keep her around longer than is good for MY continued good health.... As well as finding another doctor I can TRUST not to try and manipulate me into doing what, or behaving how, THEY want."

Or at least something along those lines. Essentially, pointing out that Tofu had NO right to try and influence Ranma's behavior through any means other than words, especially through such means as placing him at the mercy of others whom he could not guarantee would display said mercy. In short, Tofu severely overstepped his boundaries.

Still, liked the touch with Shampoo stopping Akane. Should give Ranma some food for thought. Akane too.
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