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ATA 3; To current
Topic Started: May 7 2009, 12:56 PM (25,423 Views)
Dumbledork
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Well, I think they could use the floo network. There's not mucht to it. I think that every idiot should be able to use it.
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Amaretto
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Loved the first two chapters of ATA thought the last fight scene was very well written. Here's a little help with the editing that I caught.

If Ranma didn't have any magical potential then why did the wands do crazy things? Either way, that scene was hilarious.
Ranma is to Magic as Akane is to Cooking?


“Meaning that while I know England is a critical nexus of activity for the near future, I’m only getting bits and pieces at the moment. The longer the gates chew on the issue, the more info we’ll have.”

Word choice: chews or analyzes.

“In your case, a small moon more than likely,” Setsuna commented off hand, causing Ranma to nearly choke. “Given the fact that my sister also saw you as an emissary to the Starlights, Serenity would probably name you a prince- or in your case –princess to strengthen ties between the empires.”

They thought Ranma was a starlight so wouldn't he be: from the Starlights

Tense: named

Comma needed: or in your case, princess to


The pigtailed boy had transversed back to the bathroom. closing the door just enough to block her view further observations concerning his physique, causing her minor disappointment in the process.

Capitalization: Closing



"A social life beyond the dojo. it’s not the cure all to your problems, admittedly, but it’s something that I think you would benefit from."

Capitalization: It's


on one hand there was the defensive streak concerning his manhood that ran a mile deep. On the other, he seemed to at least be able to stand his time in female form.

General edit: One hand held a defensive streak concerning his manhood that ran a mile deep. The other, he seemed to at least be able to stand his time in female form.


Charing Cross road

Capitalization: Road
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Dumbledork
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It's no use pointing out mistakes. Ozz himself has said so several times. This is only a riugh draft.
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biigoh
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C&C should always be appreciated.
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Dumbledork
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biigoh
Jul 18 2009, 08:51 AM
C&C should always be appreciated.
And he does, but not when it comes to mistakes. He knows that the snippets are full of mistakes, but he posts them for our entertainment. He checks for mistakes before he posts the chapters at ff.net.
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Ozzallos
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Dumbledork
Jul 18 2009, 09:38 AM
biigoh
Jul 18 2009, 08:51 AM
C&C should always be appreciated.
And he does, but not when it comes to mistakes. He knows that the snippets are full of mistakes, but he posts them for our entertainment. He checks for mistakes before he posts the chapters at ff.net.
It's true. that said, it's not completely unwelcome. Just the mundane stuff will get mostly ironed out when I have a complete work in hand. if you have something like, 'ZOMG Harry usees a fire wand instead of an ice wand!', by all means. Even stuff like word choice in keeping a character in character is welcome.

Regardless, do youself a favor and skip listing out every punctuation and spelling error. There are LOTS of those at this stage :D
Even then, its not exactly unwelcome... Just it takes an annoying amount of time to hunt through 30kw of text (soon to be 35k), find the comparative line and make a single spell correction. Then do it again. It's why I like google docs. If proof readers see something obvious, they can just correct it on the spot. So yes, I do appreciate the C&C... I just hate for you to wate your time when I'm not going to correct smaller stuff until the end and office 2k7 will catch most of that anyway.

Edited by Ozzallos, Jul 18 2009, 01:27 PM.
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Wharpt
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Ozzallos
Jul 18 2009, 01:20 PM
I just hate for you to wate your time when I'm not going to correct smaller stuff until the end and office 2k7 will catch most of that anyway.

That should be 'waste your time ' :snigger: :rofl: :snigger: :snigger:
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Lanceavalon
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From the picture and the article it sounds like Sirius had a real trail instead of being tossed right into prison.

So how was he found guilty if he had a chance to take truth serum or any number of other things to prove he didn't do it?
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Amaretto
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Heh, I know I'm mostly going to be ignored, just my way of showing some gratitude. My way of showing that I actually read what was written rather than just skimming it and offering a half baked opinion.
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Wharpt
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Amaretto
Jul 18 2009, 10:33 PM
Heh, I know I'm mostly going to be ignored, just my way of showing some gratitude. My way of showing that I actually read what was written rather than just skimming it and offering a half baked opinion.
Not everything you post in comment to the story may be ignored. For instance, your observation about the wands opens some interesting ideas. Perhaps the wands were reacting to the magic curse inside Ranma and not his ability to use magic. Possibly his continual exposure to magical events (teleportation through time and space via 'magical' means [re. Clarke's Law]) has left a noticable taint on his psyche. Maybe his overabundance of chi is being mis-read by the wands as magical power.

If you spot something interesting like the wands or perhaps a major flub such as different dates or times for the same circumstance, don't be afraid to comment on it. Ozz has been known to take these comments to edit. As for simple errors in spelling or structure, as Ozz says what he posts here is rough draft. He'll clean it up before final posting.

In the meantime, enjoy! :thumbup:
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Typhonis1
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Hogwarts mey be so warded but do they cover the town of Hogsmeade as well?
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GreydonCreed
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Typhonis1
Jul 19 2009, 12:06 PM
Hogwarts mey be so warded but do they cover the town of Hogsmeade as well?
If you were to ask the Ministry of Magic, they would give some pablum about having hundreds of people apparating or portkeying into a location, even one as large a town, as would result splinching and portkeying accidents. Portkeys are regulated and taxed by the MoM, so poorer people would not be able to afford them. Also, reliable transporting magic may not have been developed until after Hogwarts has existed for a while and they kept the train/previous carriages as a tradition.

But the reality is that Rowling just wanted a plot device where she could show off the 'wonders' of the Wizarding World to Harry and the readers, and to have the characters interact for a few hours before they got to the castle. How else would Ron be able to tell Harry in first year that all Slytherin are evil, and have Draco piss Harry off, therefore requesting to be sorted into Gryfindor?
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Ozzallos
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Amaretto
Jul 18 2009, 10:33 PM
Heh, I know I'm mostly going to be ignored, just my way of showing some gratitude. My way of showing that I actually read what was written rather than just skimming it and offering a half baked opinion.
Not ignored. I read everything here :)

Wands react to Ranma's curse, which is in no way controllable (nor will be) by Ranma himself. It pulls magic from the only magical catalyst it can find and short circuits. Ranma will not be a magic user in any way, shape or form for this fic.
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Dumbledork
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Quote:
 
But the reality is that Rowling just wanted a plot device where she could show off the 'wonders' of the Wizarding World to Harry and the readers, and to have the characters interact for a few hours before they got to the castle. How else would Ron be able to tell Harry in first year that all Slytherin are evil, and have Draco piss Harry off, therefore requesting to be sorted into Gryfindor?


I totally agree.
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wheels
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Konatsu tells Ranma that he sent Ukyou a postcard. By the time it arrives in Nerima, it's a letter with envelope.

I'll probably post more comments when I have a more reliable connection; I'm old enough to know what some of the phrases people use are supposed to be (such as "lidded glare," not "leaded glare").
Edited by Ozzallos, Jul 20 2009, 01:17 AM.
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