Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to ER Headquarters! We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Locked Topic
Prose; W00T for fiction
Topic Started: Dec 26 2004, 01:03 AM (58 Views)
jadedXbrownXeyes
Chief Of Staff (3,000+ posts)
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
It was good, even if it was depressing. Haha.

Goddess-- You never cease to astound me. I wish I could write half as well as you do.

These are a few of my pitiful attempts. They're not in stanza form. More like paragraph form, but tell me what you think.

This one's about my best friend.

Your standard.

I'm killing myself to be who you want me to be. I hate who I am, but I hate you more (I hate you). For doing this to me. For me to realize (who I am). Why am I doing this? Killing myself for an unwritten standard (that you set)? Drowning under the rules to rise above to be the person expected of me (expected by you). Aren't you the one that's supposed to say, "Love ya anyway?" Instead of embracing my flaws, you fix them. Your dissatisfaction in me comes out in your (anger). And angry you are (all the time). I'm sorry I'm not who you want me to be. I'm just who I am. Let me try. Gimme another shot at being (good enough for) you.


And this one, well..I was having a really bad day and this girl that I hated was making it worse. So I kind of exaggerated my anger and wrote this.

Untitled

I wrap my hands around your neck. You don’t scream, don’t struggle, don’t put up even a little fight. You knew this was coming, that (this) day would come. Don’t question why, what finally pushed me over. Breaths become harder to take, oxygen slowly and quickly decreasing. Your breathing becomes shallower, all will be over soon. The life that your empty void thrives will be vanquished, and I will be your ruler. I hold in my hands, right now, at this moment, your life. Let me toy with it. Please, let me enjoy my power, my possession, and let me toy flippantly with that fact. Wow. Life? Or death? For you today? Let me think…(death keeps pushing in my mind). Death? Or life? Let me muse….(death keeps pushing harder). And so it shall be. As you take your one last gasping breath, all my anger bottled up in you, passes through my fingertips and I watch my anger slowly fall to the ground as you do, soundlessly. You, never to rise again, never again will my anger. Sigh contently as I walk over your lifeless body.

And to end on a happy note..

Untitled

As you sneak out and I watch you kiss her goodbye a twinge of jealousy shoots through but you’re like a drug and I crave to feel your arms around my waist your hands run smoothly through my hair feel your tongue trace lips and giggle as you work your magic too beautiful to describe. As we leave together you reach up and grab my hand and the moment my fingers feel your warmth all guilt is gone. I look back and smile and suddenly its like were a new couple again and that spark that only you create surges through me. Before we can even get in the car I feel your tongue exploring my mouth and running itself over mine and pushing further making the kiss deeper and deeper but before I lose myself completely I pull away and race around to hop in the drivers seat. I get in before you and watch you ease yourself so effortlessly into the worn passenger to make the journey we’ve made one hundred times together. Halfway there I feel your hand just barely touching, caressing ever so carefully my leg applying pressure in all the right places showing off your expertise of my body. Somehow I make it to my house in a state of ecstasy and bliss. Race up the stairs and you already know to be quiet, my roommate can’t be woken for is she was our world will be spent. I shut the door behind us and as soon as the door clicks you start the routine. The sweet splendid routine that other girls only dream about. And I get it. Because I have you. I lose my breath and breathe more deeply, drag your scent further into my lungs and kiss you harder, bringer you further into me. All too quickly our crazy escapade is over and we have to go back. The ride home is much different from the ride over. The ride is quiet and your hand never comes into contact with my leg. We return at our starting point and you climb out and whisper, “love you” as you kiss me goodbye. Slam the door too quickly to hear my reply, but you already know what it is.

Please tell me waht you think!

I'll post more fi you like them.

Luby Fanart Challenge: Vote here!

I still have Carby love <3

sometimes you need to forget what you feel, and remember what you deserve

Thanks SO much to *luby4eva* for my beautiful banners!!
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
goddessofsnark
Member Avatar
Chief Resident (1,000+ posts)
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
i split the topic as these are a lot more prose-ish than poetry-ish. Very good, the first two I like, as they're farily rollins-esque, especially the second one. Although I can't stand parenthesis in the middle of fiction, I feel it breaks up the writing, it's still very good.

Addicted to love
Everywhere you go, you hear the people arguing about which drug is the worst, what the worst addiction is. Some say it's heroin, some say it's meth, I beg to differ. I say that it's you. I am addicted to you. Every moment when I don't have you, I want you, you invade my every thought. Every single thing I do, it's with you in mind. I do everything wanting you, I do everything trying to get you. Drugs are not the most powerful addiction. No, rather, the most powerful addiction there is is love.

solipsist
Solipsist-Noun- the theory that the self is the only reality. A perfectly fitting word. The word that describes your life, your imagination. You are the only real thing. You are the only thing that's tangible in this world of falsities. You looked up the word from that book, the book with the same title. And you understood what the author meant by it. But the author isn't real. Nothing else is real. Everything, even reality is a figment of your imagination. Nothing exists except for your thoughts, and even then, you doubt if they have any substance. You doubt if even you exist, if you are only a thought. Because when you think about it, does anything exist? Is there any proof than anything is more than a mere dream, a figment of your mind?

the king of wands
You appear suddenly, out of nowhere, and disappear just as quickly. No one knows who you really are. All you want it is to cause as much panic, as much chaos, or as you call it, fun, as possible. But yet, even when they know who you are, as most do, because your reputation precedes you, they are drawn to you. All you are known for is the tarot card that you got your nickname for. The king of wands. You take the most destructive ideas you can find, and with your charisma you make it sound appealing. But even as destructive as you are, you have a good side, you had a nice side. You just had a deprived childhood, that's all, its what turned you into what you are. But yet, you're still handsome, still dashing, you're a bad boy. The chaos is your fun, I love you so much.
"If you hate your parents, the man or the establishment, don't show them up by getting wasted and hitting your car into a tree. If you really hate your parents, out earn them, out live them and know more."
~Henry Rollins

Posted Image
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
jadedXbrownXeyes
Chief Of Staff (3,000+ posts)
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Haha. Umm, ok. I don't even know what the hell prose is! haahah.

I loved yours. Especially the first one. But I like how you did the whole definition thing in the second one!! Very cool!

I like the parentheses. I tried to kinda use them as I don't, soft background words. Haha. I don't know if that made any sense.

This ones about the faj.

Untitled

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, 37 days apart and I was beginning to like you. I accepted your daily calls and talked and laughed with you and my hatred began to fade. But then day 38 came around and I had to spend 72 hours with you. Hours 1-24 were fine. Laughs and hugs, movies and pillow fights. Hours 25-72? Hell. Hatred and tears, punches and bruises. Now this hatred that I tried so hard to suppress is bubbling over and you don’t even understand what you’ve done. Because every time this hatred builds up a piece of me is broken, because of you I die a little every day. You’re my own flesh and blood. My genes are yours, your genes are mine. Unconditional love doesn’t exist. Because you’re supposed to love me, unconditionally. And me? I’m never supposed to say I hate you. And mean it. But I do. I hate you. I f*cking hate you and you’ll never know. Because I’m gone. Away from here. Away from you. With no place to run, only something to run from.


And this one was kind of a dream I had once. Haha

Untitled

And so the story continues, a new relationship begins and slowly a new love blooms. And like all other lovebirds they believe their story to be different, they believe their story to be special and marvelous. They know it’ll last, at least for now they think it will. Love still new and when they say it to each other, the first time, timid. The taste of the word is bitter-sweet and breathtaking. They’re lying together now. The words exchanged but how can one word be enough to express the love they feel for each other? He moves and his hand brushes hers and she loses her breath. He takes his hand off her and before a second is up interlaces his fingers in hers. In that second he missed her. Isn’t that crazy? She never left his side, yet even now, touching her he misses her. He leans over her and kisses her, softly yet passionately, beautifully. He looks into her eyes and she knows how much he loves her. She reaches her hand up and pushes his head down so his lips meet hers and they’re in their own world. They get up and walk off, no destination in mind. They’re not running away from something, they’re not running to something. Just running, with each other, and content.
Luby Fanart Challenge: Vote here!

I still have Carby love <3

sometimes you need to forget what you feel, and remember what you deserve

Thanks SO much to *luby4eva* for my beautiful banners!!
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
goddessofsnark
Member Avatar
Chief Resident (1,000+ posts)
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
I like those.

The thing with parenthesis, is that I see them so often misused. There's so many authors that use them as an excuse for good editing. they forget to mention something a few pages back, so they just insert it with parenthesis.
"If you hate your parents, the man or the establishment, don't show them up by getting wasted and hitting your car into a tree. If you really hate your parents, out earn them, out live them and know more."
~Henry Rollins

Posted Image
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
jadedXbrownXeyes
Chief Of Staff (3,000+ posts)
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Oh my God I know. They're too damn lazy to go edit the one page that they forgot to put something on. Grr. It's like you're publishing a book! Make it perfect. Haha.

But I love my parentheses. They're my favorite *whatever they're called.* Sorry. Mind blank.
Luby Fanart Challenge: Vote here!

I still have Carby love <3

sometimes you need to forget what you feel, and remember what you deserve

Thanks SO much to *luby4eva* for my beautiful banners!!
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
goddessofsnark
Member Avatar
Chief Resident (1,000+ posts)
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
I think they count as punctuation. And prose is just another word for fiction, although most use it to mean this flowery short stuff, little mini vignettes. Like poetry without stanzas.
"If you hate your parents, the man or the establishment, don't show them up by getting wasted and hitting your car into a tree. If you really hate your parents, out earn them, out live them and know more."
~Henry Rollins

Posted Image
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
jadedXbrownXeyes
Chief Of Staff (3,000+ posts)
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Punctation that's the word. Haha. Thanks. and I like that word-- prose. Very cool. I'll have to start using it more. I'd post something I just wrote but I'd havta go find it and I wanna work on my fanart. I'll post it later.

happy new year!
Luby Fanart Challenge: Vote here!

I still have Carby love <3

sometimes you need to forget what you feel, and remember what you deserve

Thanks SO much to *luby4eva* for my beautiful banners!!
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
ZetaBoards - Free Forum Hosting
Free Forums. Reliable service with over 8 years of experience.
Learn More · Register Now
« Previous Topic · Non-ER Talk Archives · Next Topic »
Locked Topic