Council Read

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Council Read; No, you read now
Tweet Topic Started: Nov 7 2006, 11:41 PM (1,511 Views)
+Magerz	Nov 7 2006, 09:58 PM Post #31
Posts: 4,207 Group: Corrupt Pure Member #300 Joined: May 13, 2006	Semi™ Nov 7 2006, 09:57 PM Back Seat Junior had just received his brand new drivers license. To celebrate, the whole family trooped out to the driveway and climbed into the car for his inaugural drive. Dad immediately headed to the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," said the beaming boy to his old man. "Nope," came dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit back here and kick the back of your seat while you drive, just like you have been doing to me for sixteen years." burnt!



+Semi™	Nov 7 2006, 09:59 PM Post #32
NoStarvAsianLax Posts: 2,706 Group: Elite Member #395 Joined: May 23, 2006	Pool full of Aligators Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day, the millionaire decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars, or my daughter, to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!" As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash in the pool. The guy in the pool was swimming with all his might, and the crowd began to cheer him on. Finally, he made it to the other side of the pool unharmed. The millionaire was impressed. He said, "That was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well, I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?" The guy catches his breath, then says, "Listen, I don't want your money! And I don't want your daughter! I want the asshole who pushed me in the pool!"
	<centeR>


+Magerz	Nov 7 2006, 10:00 PM Post #33
Posts: 4,207 Group: Corrupt Pure Member #300 Joined: May 13, 2006	Semi™ Nov 7 2006, 09:59 PM Pool full of Aligators Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day, the millionaire decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars, or my daughter, to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!" As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash in the pool. The guy in the pool was swimming with all his might, and the crowd began to cheer him on. Finally, he made it to the other side of the pool unharmed. The millionaire was impressed. He said, "That was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well, I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?" The guy catches his breath, then says, "Listen, I don't want your money! And I don't want your daughter! I want the asshole who pushed me in the pool!" LOL! i woulda taken the cash



+Semi™	Nov 7 2006, 10:02 PM Post #34
NoStarvAsianLax Posts: 2,706 Group: Elite Member #395 Joined: May 23, 2006	Freezer A man went to a pet shop and bought a talking parrot. He took the parrot home, and tried to teach the parrot how to say a few things, but instead the parrot just swore at him. After a few hours of trying to teach the bird finally the man said "If you don't stop swearing I'm going to put you in the freezer as punishment." The parrot continued, so finally the man put the bird in the freezer. About an hour later the parrot asked the man to please open the door. As the man took the shivering bird out of the freezer it said "I promise to never swear again. Just tell me what that turkey did!"
	<centeR>


+Magerz	Nov 7 2006, 10:02 PM Post #35
Posts: 4,207 Group: Corrupt Pure Member #300 Joined: May 13, 2006	true :S your jokes own



+Magerz	Nov 7 2006, 10:03 PM Post #36
Posts: 4,207 Group: Corrupt Pure Member #300 Joined: May 13, 2006	Semi™ Nov 7 2006, 10:02 PM Freezer A man went to a pet shop and bought a talking parrot. He took the parrot home, and tried to teach the parrot how to say a few things, but instead the parrot just swore at him. After a few hours of trying to teach the bird finally the man said "If you don't stop swearing I'm going to put you in the freezer as punishment." The parrot continued, so finally the man put the bird in the freezer. About an hour later the parrot asked the man to please open the door. As the man took the shivering bird out of the freezer it said "I promise to never swear again. Just tell me what that turkey did!" turkey in the freezer!! LOL!! :lol:



o0--N33b--o0	Nov 7 2006, 10:04 PM Post #37
Rick Roll Fan Posts: 2,668 Group: Old School Member Member #287 Joined: May 13, 2006	M4n 1n Sk1rt Nov 8 2006, 04:00 AM Semi™ Nov 7 2006, 09:59 PM Pool full of Aligators Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day, the millionaire decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars, or my daughter, to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!" As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash in the pool. The guy in the pool was swimming with all his might, and the crowd began to cheer him on. Finally, he made it to the other side of the pool unharmed. The millionaire was impressed. He said, "That was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well, I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?" The guy catches his breath, then says, "Listen, I don't want your money! And I don't want your daughter! I want the asshole who pushed me in the pool!" LOL! i woulda taken the cash noob, take the daughter cuz u can ask her to ask money from her dad... PWNT semi's jokes ftw, i dont get aids one *PINNED LOL*



+Magerz	Nov 7 2006, 10:05 PM Post #38
Posts: 4,207 Group: Corrupt Pure Member #300 Joined: May 13, 2006	O0__N33b__O0 Nov 7 2006, 10:04 PM M4n 1n Sk1rt Nov 8 2006, 04:00 AM Semi™ Nov 7 2006, 09:59 PM Pool full of Aligators Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day, the millionaire decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars, or my daughter, to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!" As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash in the pool. The guy in the pool was swimming with all his might, and the crowd began to cheer him on. Finally, he made it to the other side of the pool unharmed. The millionaire was impressed. He said, "That was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well, I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?" The guy catches his breath, then says, "Listen, I don't want your money! And I don't want your daughter! I want the asshole who pushed me in the pool!" LOL! i woulda taken the cash noob, take the daughter cuz u can ask her to ask money from her dad... PWNT semi's jokes ftw, i dont get aids one *PINNED LOL* aids one, i think semi needs to explain



+Semi™	Nov 7 2006, 10:07 PM Post #39
NoStarvAsianLax Posts: 2,706 Group: Elite Member #395 Joined: May 23, 2006	Something to support Men A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only". Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
	<centeR>


+Semi™	Nov 7 2006, 10:08 PM Post #40
NoStarvAsianLax Posts: 2,706 Group: Elite Member #395 Joined: May 23, 2006	M4n 1n Sk1rt Nov 7 2006, 10:05 PM O0__N33b__O0 Nov 7 2006, 10:04 PM M4n 1n Sk1rt Nov 8 2006, 04:00 AM Semi™ Nov 7 2006, 09:59 PM Pool full of Aligators Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day, the millionaire decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars, or my daughter, to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!" As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash in the pool. The guy in the pool was swimming with all his might, and the crowd began to cheer him on. Finally, he made it to the other side of the pool unharmed. The millionaire was impressed. He said, "That was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well, I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?" The guy catches his breath, then says, "Listen, I don't want your money! And I don't want your daughter! I want the asshole who pushed me in the pool!" LOL! i woulda taken the cash noob, take the daughter cuz u can ask her to ask money from her dad... PWNT semi's jokes ftw, i dont get aids one *PINNED LOL* aids one, i think semi needs to explain alzhimers is when u forget things.. he forgot the doctor told him he had aids like a 2 sec memory lol
	<centeR>


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