Need A Lil' Help

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Need A Lil' Help
Topic Started: Jul 3 2004, 09:18 PM (224 Views)
Flyergirl	Jul 3 2004, 09:18 PM Post #1
Kelsey, Little Witches Posts: 112 Group: Members Member #82 Joined: June 29, 2004	Ok, I have been on these boards a lot in the past 5 days of my membership, and I realized a lot of people on this board are lesbian or bi. ( if I am wrong, please dont take any offence to it. ). So anyway, I figured I would seek your worldly knowledge. Ok, so I just came out to a few of my friends and my twin sister a few months ago as being bisexual ( I am pretty sure I am a lesbian, but I didn't want to limit myself with lables so early in my "discovery"). So in here lies the problem, my mom and step dad ( the ones who I live with ) are extremly homophbic, so much in fact that they would probably kick me out, or try and send me to some rehab camp like in BIAC. Am I a coward for not wanting to tell my parents yet??? I mean, I will have to eventually, I know this, but I still have about 2 more years before I can move out, and I really think it will only cause unecessary problems. And, I just really dont know how they would react, my dad I know would be totally cool with it, so it is not like they could kick me onto the streets, I would go live with him, but I dont want to ruin my relationship with my mom ( which is already faultering as it is ). What are your thoughts??
	"....so how do you land 'Johnny Rocket Boy' and I keep ending up with subtely diferent models of 'throws up on himself elmo'!"- The Astronauts Wife


Kate	Jul 5 2004, 05:24 AM Post #2
Indie "It" Girl Posts: 1,107 Group: Members Member #6 Joined: November 24, 2003	Oh god, that is so tough. OK. Well. I felt pretty much the same way as you do, I think. So, I didn't tell either of my parents. I felt that it wasn't really that important for them to know and I wasn't really ready to tell them. It seemed like it would be a big deal, and I wasn't even in a relationship... so what did it matter? After a while though, it really bugged me because I was living a lie and I had to keep lying, to my mother especially, about who I was (um, and also where I was) So, if I were you, I wouldn't rush into it. I would probably just try not to lie too much about things. One of the biggest things that my mother still can't let go of is saying "But, you used to have posters of Keanu Reeves on your wall!" ... so, yeh. If you are just yourself, they might even come to realise it, in time. In any case, it won't be as much of a shock... maybe. I don't know. I suck at this kind of thing.
	For me though, it's like I've given birth to my own baby girl. You know? Only she's, like, a big giant girl who smokes and says "shit" a lot.


Margot	Jul 5 2004, 08:44 AM Post #3
Nan, The Astronaut's Wife Posts: 260 Group: Members Member #18 Joined: November 25, 2003	I wouldnt rock the boat.....especially if there are dire consequences..... If its not extremely necessary to tell them, then wait.......until you have your own place to live.....or maybe test the waters, ease them into the idea??
	- Life without [size=7]Ladytron[/size] is an Error


Smidge	Jul 5 2004, 05:14 PM Post #4
Stokely Mitchell, The Faculty Posts: 182 Group: Members Member #70 Joined: April 19, 2004	Hey margot..good to see you're not dead. Your wisdom and knowledge and super powers have been missed. Anywho, back on topic...my brothers boyfriend is 28...he just officially came out to his dad. He said his mom just knew and his dad sorta knew when he was 19 but wasn't ready to discuss it. I don't think you need to come out necessarily...but definitely don't change your lifestyle to suit their needs. If they ask...then be honest unless it will, like Margot said have 'dire consequences". Anywho, what do i know...that chlorophyll has the same moecular structure as hemoglobin...so this is only my suggestion to you. SaraHa
	One banana, two banana, three banana, four! Four bananas make a bunch of baby surfin' boards!


Margot	Jul 5 2004, 06:15 PM Post #5
Nan, The Astronaut's Wife Posts: 260 Group: Members Member #18 Joined: November 25, 2003	Smidge Jul 5 2004, 05:14 PM Hey margot..good to see you're not dead. Your wisdom and knowledge and super powers have been missed. Thanks for the missing ........ Ive just been busy, I'll be done with my undergrad in a few weeks.......so my head is currently swimming
	- Life without [size=7]Ladytron[/size] is an Error


Flyergirl	Jul 6 2004, 09:58 AM Post #6
Kelsey, Little Witches Posts: 112 Group: Members Member #82 Joined: June 29, 2004	Quote: Anywho, what do i know...that chlorophyll has the same moecular structure as hemoglobin...so this is only my suggestion to you. Thanks......I think No, but back on topic, I think I am gonna take some of your suggestions, I just wanted to know if not telling my parents makes me a total weenie. I didn't think so, but there are a lot of people who do tell their parents right away, and deal with it all right when it happens, but I dont feel like getting kicked out just yet. So I think I am gonna postpone( I have no idea how to spell that word) the coming out party tell I have proper deffences. Because it will get nasty.
	"....so how do you land 'Johnny Rocket Boy' and I keep ending up with subtely diferent models of 'throws up on himself elmo'!"- The Astronauts Wife


Linz	Jul 7 2004, 12:17 PM Post #7
Indie "It" Girl Posts: 1,048 Group: Admin Member #17 Joined: November 25, 2003	I'm a little late on the commentary here...but let me share something... I came out to my parents after I had been dating a woman for over a year and I realized that I couldn't keep her a secret anymore. SHe was totally out in her family and they all loved me, but my family didn't know her at all and she never wanted to come over because she didn't want to give us away. When I realized that I needed to tell my mom I was conforted by the fact that I was with someone who I loved very much and I could express that to my mother. She was phenominal about it...my dad is a different story though. Anyway, the point is to wait until you are ready to tell your parents, and make sure that once you tell them you are not going to take it back. I kow that sounds weird but I know lots of people who have come out just to realize that they are not gay a few years later. Make sure the time is right for you, and your parents should understand and be very sensative about it. Goodluck!
	-Linz "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good." "I like girls alot"


Crystie	Jul 7 2004, 12:25 PM Post #8
Ginny, Identity Posts: 729 Group: Members Member #50 Joined: January 10, 2004	darn...wheres graham when you need her? coincidence she went thru the same thing and left the group about 2 weeks ago. sorry im not able to help with the issue since its hard to relate as much as most people here but i shall try. i think you should wait a little while before you tell your parents...actually i agree with the entire previous statement of linz...try going with that. when you think the time is right, sit them down alone and tell them...preforably (sp?) when they are in a good mood. and remember; you have to accept yourself before others can accept you. if your parents cannot accept you for who you are...well then they are not good parents. but teenage years are a time of discovery..which we both seem to know cuz were only 9 months apart. just stay true to yourself. wow dont i sound like a motivational speaker... :rolleyes:
	"You are who you are, the only trick is not getting caught" -Clea DuVall Men are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken and all the available ones are handicapped.


Flyergirl	Jul 7 2004, 03:59 PM Post #9
Kelsey, Little Witches Posts: 112 Group: Members Member #82 Joined: June 29, 2004	Thanks for all the help....really. And Crystie, you make a great motivational speaker
	"....so how do you land 'Johnny Rocket Boy' and I keep ending up with subtely diferent models of 'throws up on himself elmo'!"- The Astronauts Wife


Linz	Jul 8 2004, 08:12 AM Post #10
Indie "It" Girl Posts: 1,048 Group: Admin Member #17 Joined: November 25, 2003	Let us know how everything pans out. Goodluck and all that...
	-Linz "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good." "I like girls alot"


carlamity	Jul 9 2004, 05:02 AM Post #11
The Kudos Kid Posts: 8 Group: Members Member #84 Joined: July 8, 2004	hi flyer. it sounds like the people you have already told are fairly supportive, which is great. I think you're totally doing the right thing at the minute - why rock the boat when you don't have to? if you feel okay not telling your folks at the minute, then don't tell them. things will probably get to a stage where you feel that you need them to know, and if they do get to that stage, then tell them then. i have a friend who is 23 and has been out to everyone except her parents for about five years - she has no intention of ever coming out to them. I recently "came out" to my nana - i felt that she was missing out on an important part of my life bey not getting to know my girlfriend, so rather than just saying "by the way, i'm a dyke" i just introduced her to my girlfriend by name, and she got the message pretty quickly - she's been great - always asking after girlf and sends her love. hope things work out ok for you.
	hands off... she's mine!


Smidge	Jul 13 2004, 08:08 AM Post #12
Stokely Mitchell, The Faculty Posts: 182 Group: Members Member #70 Joined: April 19, 2004	Good luck and plenty of horse shoes Margot. i'm sure you'll do fine. i finish my undergrad this year..i'm crazy worried. it's all french courses this year...and i despise writing essays in french litterature courses. i'm deathly afraid i might get a C on my transcript. Are you going to apply to law school right away..r take a year off to travel or something? Anywho kiddo...don't run yourself ragged. SaraHa
	One banana, two banana, three banana, four! Four bananas make a bunch of baby surfin' boards!


Keol	Aug 29 2004, 01:55 AM Post #13
Kelsey, Little Witches Posts: 100 Group: Members Member #20 Joined: November 27, 2003	Do it when you feel ready to.
	"What would you do, tie her to your bed and zap her to death-or are you running low on batteries?" -- Graham from BIAC


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