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| Le bisou francais........ | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 5 2013, 09:22 PM (64 Views) | |
| Deleted User | Feb 5 2013, 09:22 PM Post #1 |
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OK.....here is the deal. I love my boyfriend, and I know he loves me. He is very affectionate in so many ways. Always doing nice things for me. Hugs, pets, cuddly....etc. I get lots of closed mouth kisses, but open mouth spit-swapping is not so frequent. I mean it is not that he doesn't do it at all......he does, but usually if it happens it is just associated with sex. Now, being a woman.....I find the thought of just lying around and making out a bit very nice. So when we were on vacation I asked him about it. I said "Why don't you like to french kiss very often?". So the first thing out of his mouth was "Well, I don't know.....we have a different kind of relationship....I LOVE YOU....."......to which he stopped, caught himself, and then he said, "Hmmm.....that doesn't make sense, does it?". I found it an odd reply. My initial reaction was that he envisions tongue swapping to be in the realm of "naughty" and only something you do in meaningless sexual relationships, where women are just sexual objects. Who knows. I honestly don't think he has been in this serious of a relationship before....sorta new territory for him, a longtime bachelor in a foreign land so to speak...... Of course the next day (and a few days later) he made sure to lick my tonsils thoroughly.......although, come to think of it.....those instances were associated with sex too!!......but still. I don't get it. Any thoughts on this? Heard this before? |
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| Deleted User | Feb 5 2013, 09:22 PM Post #2 |
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Degree's "baise-moi" got me thinking about this. LOL..... |
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| Degree | Feb 5 2013, 10:28 PM Post #3 |
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Level 6
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It's called "Madonna complex." |
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| Deleted User | Feb 5 2013, 11:43 PM Post #4 |
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If Degree is right my advice would be to get out now, but what do I know.lol |
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| Deleted User | Feb 7 2013, 06:24 PM Post #5 |
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Totally traumatizing thing to hear. |
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| Deleted User | Feb 7 2013, 10:10 PM Post #6 |
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Perhaps he thinks he's rubbish at French kissing? Hmm don't worry. There are plenty of enthusiastic French kissers in the world.
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| Deleted User | Feb 8 2013, 11:53 AM Post #7 |
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Absolutely NO insight, but I wanted to say, that I am in the exact same place. My husband and I have been together for 10 years (married 8 of those), and he never frenches me. I called him out on it tonight, but I have no idea if complaining about it will change my present reality. It's too soon to tell. That being said, I'm not waiting for him to work his issues out forever. He best get on it, or I'm going to grab his face and french kiss him. His issue, not mine!
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| Deleted User | Feb 8 2013, 11:49 PM Post #8 |
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Well, maybe it is worth bringing up. I have to say I have noticed that perhaps my bf is paying more attention to this since I said something. I guess part of it could be just a male-female thing? Like I said I could just cuddle up and kiss and be totally content.....but I have to say when he kisses me like that he always gets aroused....so maybe if he isn't feeling up for sex.....tired....etc, he just avoids the type of contact that might stir things? Who knows. It can never hurt to communicate. He has a lot of wonderful qualities. Navigating relationships is some work and requires flexibility. No one person is perfect.....except for me, that it. LOL. Totally kidding....... |
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| Deleted User | Feb 9 2013, 11:10 AM Post #9 |
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I think you're right. It's just different. With my husband, the ulterior motive with pretty much all affection is sex, and so if the timing makes that impossible, he doesn't bother. As a woman for me, affection is neccessary in between sex.... all the time... often... and consistently... just like praise, and gifts. 'Cuz I am woman, and I'm demanding like that!
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3:43 PM Jul 11