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RP Time: OST
Population: XX Nations Technology: Post/Modern
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![]() Founder: Dom | Prime Minister: Vacant| RP Ministers: Vacant ..:: YOUR NEWS : 16 OCT '14 ::.. ***Things That Happened, Did*** |
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| Farewell? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 3 2014, 10:41 AM (346 Views) | |
| Falsea | Jun 3 2014, 10:41 AM Post #1 |
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Comrade-Chairwoman of the World Revolution
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If I leave now, I want to say a few things. I have worked hard for that which I truly value, which is my nation and the Trilateral Alliance. All actions which I have pursued are part of these efforts to preserve that which I hold dear. I, in my capacity as roleplayer, never allowed my OoC perceptions and IC views to mix in any matter. I, in my capacity as a member of this community, have never jeoparized my relationship with anybody on an out of character context. If people seem to think otherwise, then I apologize, however know what I have done is not without regret. I have done everything I can to the best of my ability…it’s just sad my best wasn’t enough. I don’t want this to be long as even now I have my hesitation if this is the right choice, sadly because some people have chosen not to grant cruel mercy which I wish for, but I believe I need to explain a few things. First of all, what made me write this in the first place is the sentiment of some towards me as an individual and towards me as a member of the Trilateral Alliance. Some people see me as a bitch, a thorn in their lives, and while one held back this anger me until this crucial moment, another decided altogether to avoid me, at least in an IC setting. However in the past hours, this anger and disposition towards me ultimately exploded and that which I fear the most from them has made itself clear. These individuals, Ikarius and Cameron, took something rather casual and without any ill intent I said into something aimed towards their country, the Pacium Union, something which has shocked me as it came out of the blue. Perhaps they had reason to do so, as I always seemed to badger the Minister with my ideas and my opinions on popular governance, and ICly, been generally not fond of the Pacium Union and my accusations of Ikarius infiltrating the Trilateral Alliance private chat, and a variety of other things I can’t remember at this moment. I can’t place a complete bet on what they think of me from an out of character perspective, however judging from their statements and what seemed to be pent up anger, they appeared to believe I utterly want their deaths. This is not the case. I feel sad it has come to that, and I apologize. My opinion towards them as a person does not border on any sense of dislike or hatred or envy or anything of that sort at all, in fact, I think they’re great people and great roleplayers. From an IC perspective however this is different, but this is minor and not once has allowed me to cloud my true judgement on them. This takes us to the next part. I have had many complaints from a multitude of individuals regarding how I, alongside Carpathia and Kingborough, appear to dominate the Trilateral Alliance throughout the passage of time. This is something which I have tried to address with everybody and arguments came out regarding “it’s just you guys are active and the rest aren’t”. I reassured them this invalid, as the decision making process remained the same. I deemed this a relatively minor thing as I believed earnestly it would disappear with open discussion instead of withholding this resentment. I believe it was successful. I believe such was the core issue plaguing the Trilateral Alliance and I did my best to address them and please everybody. Sadly I was naďve to think of it. Shortly after came the faithful day I learned of the exposure of the private chat from Ikarius, with whom I demanded a full view of the situation seeming as he was the only one who appeared to know of it. That didn’t go as I desired and would lead to what some of my TA colleagues, notably Carpathia and Kingborough, to think what was a “witch hunt” being initiated. I will not deny I have been overly dramatic with my talk with King and RC the same night that revelation from Ikar came, however let me say I had no prior intention to disrupt or sabotage the TA at all, and why would I, as it remained the only thing I kept hanging around for. Throughout the days I pledged a pragmatic and low key solution and promptly decided to separate this from IC and OoC. As much as I do with a lot, if not all things. This “witch hunt” has earned negative backlash for two things: First of it was a belief that I hate Ikar OoCly and trying to pin the blame on him out of spite. Well let me tell you this is not the case. My conversation with him has not been the most fruitful as I wanted and while Ikar may beg to disagree, he has stated himself that “he could not have that” I be aware of his full knowledge of the months-long leak. I was very angry yes, but this has not been aimed towards him specifically in any way at all. However what came to be was he and my conversation with him, his words specifically, was my only lead on it. The next reason was I believe, the methods by which I carried out hunting down the mole who leaked the chat months ago, who may or may not be existent, I don’t care anymore. Some have accused me of being heavy handed in approach, like putting them “police surveillance” or “interrogation”. This has never been farther from the truth. I have done what I can to gather all members of the Trilateral Alliance for a discussion on the matter and informed them of this roundtable approach to finding out the culprit. These accusations are baseless and fallacious, and from recent information, I daresay an attempt to but discredit me even further even when I’m already at my lowest point, for what reason, I don’t know. That wasn’t enough it seems, and some have promptly decided I have been ill-fitting to the alliance as a whole and “have done more good than harm” and will continue to do so if I remain in the alliance, leading to a call for my expulsion for something I worked hard to build and give identity to and keep united. Honestly speaking, I was pained and left me in actual tears to hear of this call, and to think it would come from someone as Carpathia, someone who claims to be “one of the few friends he has”. It appeared a sham. I appreciated your efforts to reach out to me Carp, but I have claimed I’m in perfect working order and am not mentally insane, which you seem to think of me, and which you never changed. That rant you saw? No, that was not my provocation and yet you choose to further it and drive the knife deeper into the wound. You couldn’t understand me, even as I tried to understand you. And in the end, it’s your choice to do what you did and drop your pretenses. But hey, apparently I’ve been shit to you and King, amirite? I’ve been wanting both of you dead and gone the same way I wanted Ikarius and Cameron gone, amirite? I wish to say this is all just drama to satisfy my ego or to make you all feel guilty while I giggle about threatening to leave while not actually thinking it, but I can’t. I’ve realized the illusions we hang onto are nothing but what they are; illusions. We seek a hand to grasp at times of despair, any hand, even those who would despise us, and happily grab it to avoid falling into the abyss. However if one keeps stumbling and falling, will that hand be there always, would they always be willing to help you despite differences? More important, why is it that you must drag others down with you in that road and add agony further? If you know you’re a burden to others, would it not be noble to simply let go? …haha. I’m not being noble here, but this is the least I could do. I imagined my departure from this place would be on more happier, or rather less negative terms, like leaving for college and work and all that, but alas such thoughts flowed through me in naďve days. The truth has revealed itself and we must react accordingly. I will be honest and say that to make this decision is heavy and filled with misery, possibly regret, leaving my only escape from my own turmoils in life, but to be ostracized for what you believe in and how you carry yourself not only as a roleplayer but also as a human being….it’s a sad existence. You’re free to kick and beat me now, it doesn’t matter anymore to me. I always said…people are free to do what they want..right? Hopefully, this will be my final post to anything in these forums…I can’t say I’m keen on leaving you people, especially those I’ve come to spend my NS life with through thick and thin, so I’am least giving away my Skype (it’s scarlet_sonata) so we can talk and all, informally, as friends on different parts of the world sharing nothing but a place where we were formally neighbors. I uh….this is good bye then, most likely…please, enjoy your lives and enjoy your roleplays. I won’t be there to bother anymore hopefully, yeah? Towards a peaceful and united Nysa…Oracia.. Cheers! Falsea Edited by Falsea, Jun 3 2014, 10:42 AM.
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| Battlion | Jun 3 2014, 10:46 AM Post #2 |
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Large State
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Well, I only briefly skimmed it because I'm really quite tired... I really hope you don't leave, drop me a PM on here or the chatango and we can talk? ![]() It'd be a massive shame to see you leave |
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| Oertha | Jun 3 2014, 10:47 AM Post #3 |
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Ultra Power
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Have fun, comrade. o7 |
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| Lomarre | Jun 3 2014, 10:48 AM Post #4 |
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High-Kingdom of Lomarre
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Good, god. Fal, no one wants you to go! D: |
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| Hahklallah | Jun 3 2014, 10:51 AM Post #5 |
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I make things
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I don't want you to go. I never asked for this, never dreamed it would happen. You leaving, it shouldn't be happening. I'm going to ask you to stay. If you won't then at least consider coming back after a while, please. I can't change your mind, I'm sure, but no one hates you. Not even Ikar. If you're dead set on leaving, Falsea... You're probably one of the best NS friends I've had even though we've only known each other for a short time. I guess... good luck, talk to you on skype.. |
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| Arkiania | Jun 3 2014, 10:57 AM Post #6 |
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Large Socialist State
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I really don't want you to go. You are really make my time on forum enjoyable. Please don't leave. |
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| Alvino Castillon | Jun 3 2014, 11:09 AM Post #7 |
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The Badass
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For everyone out there, I want to make something very clear, and you can double check with Hahklallah (as he has seen this personally). You will know when I truly hate you. You will know when I truly want you to die. You know when I want you to feel utter pain and brutality. This is not one of those times. While I did not agree with Falsea's ideas and at times we did fight, I didn't hate her. Hate is a word I throw around a lot, and I never really understood how people might take that word. Falsea, did I dislike you at times? Absolutely, but I dislike everyone at times. Everyone annoys me. I annoy everyone at times. It's a common part of humanity: we're all assholes and we all act like douchebags once in a while... some (like me) more than others. That being said, I apologize if it seemed I actually hated you; rather, I hated how deep the divide between us came. I hold respect for how long you held your composure. As you've seen, I can't really hold the same composure most of the time. However, I do feel there are times when you crack and explode just as I do. I've come to realize miscommunication is quite a bitch, and unfortunately we have had a fairly long history of it. In a sense we're both too headstrong to back down; showing weakness means a person can exploit it after all. I also realize now that there is a great sense of worry behind your actions: whether your own friends will agree, whether it will be met with absolute hostility... or of course, whether you will be stabbed in the back. I don't really believe you when you say that you hold no hatred for any of us. I think you feel betrayed, and that I am at times an asshole. Just as at times I think you are absolutely difficult to work with, but it's natural given our ideologies and differing thoughts. Frankly, today's explosion was another case of it being too much to handle, to the point where I feel as if at times you are trying to actively oppose me and try to cause a problem. I know differently; even if you were, you're playing the game. In a sense, I'm at guilt for allowing that to mix with personal issues I may have with you. The one thing I will hold to however, is that I don't affiliate you badgering the Ministry with your ideas to myself. I always believed everyone hates the Minister but not the person. I know that even as a player, I am not on a list of people who you feel should die. I'm an aggravation to you most likely, but that's natural. ...Okay, getting to the point, don't leave because of one or two or three of us. Leave because you truly feel everyone hates you. I can't say I agree with it, but if you feel that is the best course of action I can not stop you. I can say that it's probably not the right course of action and I don't think many people want you to leave. I don't think you were trying to sabotage an alliance you watched over so closely and strove to make succeed. I felt you were trying to look for people trying to sabotage said alliance when none existed. Falsea, I hope that you do come back one day. If not, I understand. I'm sorry I could not grant you the mercy killing you wanted, but once more... I don't agree with you. Keep in touch. -Ikarius Edited by Alvino Castillon, Jun 3 2014, 12:04 PM.
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| Rommy | Jun 3 2014, 11:18 AM Post #8 |
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Medium State
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Fal, I understand on some far off level how you might feel. I've felt like a problem, I've felt nothing but hated, I've felt useless, but these are times long past but I remember them clearly. Do I hate the people who made me feel those things no, do I still feel these things today, yes. The point is we are all human, no one here hates you I promise you that with all my heart. You may be headstrong but thats a good thing about you Fal, I am begging you, yes begging which is something I don't do often unless its comedic to stay. All wounds heal with time, so if you need a week so be it, if you need a month so be it but you are not allowed to leave this place until you leave on a happy note and everyone being happy together with you till the end. You are human fal, you know you want to stay, do not take this easy way out by leaving, you need to keep being a brilliant person, roleplayer, and all around fabulous. Once again I beg you Fal stay, the choice lays with you, but please....stay. If not for us, then you. |
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| Carpathian | Jun 3 2014, 11:45 AM Post #9 |
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A Collective Regime Of Peace And Love
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Going to say this here, since Skype seems to be crashing for some reason. I know I screwed up badly and I am not asking to be forgiven for it. I really tried, you see. I tried to be everyone's friend and alleviate the OOC tensions between you, Ikar and Cam. Sometimes it was through a more subtle intervention, like me seeking to ally with the PU and create an environment for cooperation, other times it was me talking to all of you via Skype or PM. I realize now that to assume I could help make everything perfect was a drastic overestimation of my own abilities, to say the least. They say that the road to hell is paved with good intention and this is exactly what happened. I tried to fix everything, to bridge the gaps and help everyone be friends with everyone, instead all I did was strain my nerves with something that is way beyond my abilities, all the way to the breaking point (and creating a huge mess of it, in the end). I do not want you to leave, Falsea, nor did I want to hurt you. Simply, all these months of trying to make everything better, have taken a huge toll on me and to see the incident which happened tonight, was like seeing all that effort unravel. I have made a lot of mistakes, despite my intention being to help everyone. I should be the one who's leaving. And if my leaving, will make you stay, then I will do so. I am sorry. |
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| Nentsia | Jun 3 2014, 12:03 PM Post #10 |
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Politically incorrect history student
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Please don't leave ![]() You're my big sister here
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| Anakinexi | Jun 3 2014, 03:19 PM Post #11 |
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The Villain
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I would rather not see you go, Falsea, considering the IC relationship between Angiris and Falsea, and because of the fact I consider you a friend. If you truly are going to leave here, then I say peace be with you, my friend. |
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| The Dominion | Jun 3 2014, 07:05 PM Post #12 |
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Administrator
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Falsea I can't stop you from leaving but there are many people here that look up to you as a leader and it would be a great loss to this community if you left. I would really appreciate it if you could, as a friend, give us here a chance to sort this situation out. Nobody should feel they should have to leave this community, certainly not you Fal. I don't think leaving is the best option, let me know if you want to have a chat. I'm not a perfect person but I will try my best to resolve this issue with you and the others. If not for yourself do it for your brethren here. |
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| Mestra | Jun 3 2014, 11:55 PM Post #13 |
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Regional Power
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Falsea don't go I and everyone else *glares at everyone* will miss you deeply. You are an excellent comrade here, and while others including myself may not always agree on your own ideology I believe as I have always believed that such differences and our ability to compromise and to work together is what truly makes humanity great. Of course we don't always agree, but when we do the greatest things can be achieved. I have enjoyed working with you Fal and ultimately I would hate to see you go. As I consider you and everyone here apart of my online familly. Farewell dearest Falsea until your hopeful return. |
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| Jamzor the Jaxxor | Jun 5 2014, 08:34 AM Post #14 |
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There's nothing a drone strike won't fix.
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I agree with everyone here in asking that you don't leave. It'd leave a huge gap in the community. |
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