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Caprecia

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..:: YOUR NEWS : 16 OCT '14 ::..
***Things That Happened, Did***
Galdresia Iryiiad Syntreal
Zaroca Oracia
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Vulpes News Oracia
Topic Started: May 20 2014, 04:26 AM (74 Views)
Kingborough
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The Monarchist
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DISCLAIMER: Vulpes News takes no responsibility for diplomatic incidents, war, death, famine, rioting, destruction or so on caused by anyone stupid enough to believe in satire. Thank you.
PACIUM UNION INVADES ZAROCA; DECLARES SELF RULER OF ALL CAPRECIA

Emperor Alvino I, the Glorious and Most Amazing Sovereign of All the Universe, has today proclaimed that the invasion of Zaroca has been successful, following the nuclear bombing of Halvadag.

It is understood His Gloriousness decided to invade Zaroca after an invitation from the Lomarre Grand Duke, who stated to the media "good riddance to those Bondes. Less opposition to when we take over the world through royal marriages."

The new land will be renamed Paciumlania, and eugenics programs are already underway to turn every conquered citizen into Nekki. Pacium is also in negotiations with Carpathia and Falsea to create a free travel zone between neighbouring Carpathian Syntreal and Falsean Iryiiad.

Other News:
- Damara Larsen, Prime Minister of the Arkausan Confederation, photographed in orgy on Alumary roof with horse and Batavian President.
- Explosion in apple pie factory covers Bucharest in desserts.
- Medo-Kubaniza declared democratic wonderland. Occasion celebrated by mass sacrifice of opposition members.
- Falsea Premier declares Onion Worship state religion.
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Kingborough
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The Monarchist
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DISCLAIMER: Vulpes News takes no responsibility for diplomatic incidents, war, death, famine, rioting, destruction or so on caused by anyone stupid enough to believe in satire. Thank you.
CARPATHIA AND MOLDOVA SANCTIONS MOTHER EARTH FOR GENOCIDE

The Dictator of Carpathia and Moldova, Kane Abel has announced a new wide ranging set of sanctions against Mother Earth for 'mass genocide, racism, destruction of public property, terrorism, treason and other crimes against humanity' following a volcano in the Mirus Ocean that destroyed the tiny island country of Defaultia.

Carpathia and Moldova has announced that it will nationalise companies from Mother Earth, and will be freezing Mother Earth's president Gaia's bank account. In addition, it has announced a blockade against all products made on Mother Earth and has stated it will "declare war and bomb Mother Earth into a speck of dust if it doesn't stop its actions immediately'.

Other News:
- New survey shows humans terrible at geography; 79% of people think Lanlania is on the moon.
- Nekki stew most popular dish in Western Cardohesia according to polling.
- Chapshire bored of trying to shoot at the moon, declares war on the Sun.
- Thousands break legs after banana truck loses its cargo in central Ninsk.
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