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Tourism at it's best; well sorta
Topic Started: Sep 8 2004, 06:42 PM (240 Views)
Go_PoD-SSC--
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It ^^^^is a snail...not a turd:)
[ *  *  * ]
Subject: Tourism


***The questions below about Australia, are from potential visitors(Tourists).

They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are
the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense
of humour.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on
TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.


Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.


Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
tracks?(Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.


Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a
list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)

A: What did your last slave die of?


Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
Australia?(USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does
not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross...... Come naked.


Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the rest of the directions.


Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.


Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races..... Come naked.


Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)

A: You are a British politician, right?


Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
round?(Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers......Milk
is illegal.


Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. (USA)

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.


Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget
its name.
It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out
of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can
scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out
walking.


Oh and it's all true!....ROFLMAO!

Sorry to any nationality this may offend....it was not intended to offend you...but oh gawd i laughed when i read it..... :grab
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*BOINK*.....OW!............................Oh Hi Purity.....
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Miss Skippy
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:roflmao

lol Good one!
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Who
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:roflmao .....that is bloody bonza m8 .....however it is kind of depressing that the people asking those question's are stealing the oxgen of us that are not brain dead :roflmao
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Viper-SSC-
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viper-SSC-
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:roflmao :roflmao :roflmao :roflmao

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FOST
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Fost of the Um Braged :D
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:roflmao :notme
I only got one question if u live on otherside of the world than me ..Which way is up? :D
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feralist-ssc-
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well as we all know australia is at the top of the world which would make ur country at the arse end :roflmao :roflmao :roflmao
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Go_PoD-SSC--
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It ^^^^is a snail...not a turd:)
[ *  *  * ]
didnt we have a similar discussion in the oZ forums once?
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*BOINK*.....OW!............................Oh Hi Purity.....
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Susat=FMJ=
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PMSL :roflmao
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CJoZ
Unregistered

GP, yes we did!!

Convenient that it is Tuesday, where's King's Cross?? My money is on the Female Hippo.
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Go_PoD-SSC--
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It ^^^^is a snail...not a turd:)
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:roflmao ....ok my money's on the yellow one...with the purple polka dots :roflmao
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*BOINK*.....OW!............................Oh Hi Purity.....
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FOST
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Fost of the Um Braged :D
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Quote:
 
where's King's Cross??


Think I went to wrong one,In UK weren`t any Hippo`s but I did place a quid each way on the 7-15 from Waterloo



OOOOOOOOO Naughty GP
Australia Kings Cross = http://www.sydney.com.au/kingsx.htm

UK Kings Cross = http://www.kingsx.co.uk/.

No wonder there were no hippos
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Go_PoD-SSC--
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It ^^^^is a snail...not a turd:)
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Gee's m8....your Kings Cross looks so squeaky and clean :D ..i dunno....ever thought about migratin?..... :roflmao :roflmao
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Susat=FMJ=
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Every time it rains! :lol:
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Go_PoD-SSC--
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It ^^^^is a snail...not a turd:)
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:roflmao
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