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In my travels across the netiverse; I found this about the alchoverse:)
Topic Started: Aug 30 2004, 10:13 PM (27 Views)
Go_PoD-SSC--
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It ^^^^is a snail...not a turd:)
[ *  *  * ]
How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night
drinking and thought 'How on earth did I get home?' As hard as you
try,
you cannot piece together your return journey from the pub to your
house.

The answer to this puzzle is that you used a Beer Scooter. The Beer
Scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased to the drunk
by
Bacchus the Roman God of Wine. Bacchus has acquired a large batch of
these
magical devices. The Beer Scooter works in the following fashion: -
The
passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the "slurring
gland"
begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many
sub-contractors
detects this pheromone and sends down winged Beer Scooter.

The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their bedroom
via
a Trans-Dimensional Portal. This is not cheap to run, so a large
portion
of the passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment. This answers
the
second questions after a night out, 'How did I spend so much money?'

Unfortunately, Beer Scooters have a poor safety record and are thought
to
be responsible for over 90% of all UDI (Unidentified Drinking
Injuries),
such as skinned knees and a sore spot on the top of your head.

An undocumented feature of the Beer Scooter is the destruction of time
segments during the trip. The nature of Trans-Dimensional Portals
dictates
that time will be lost, seemingly unaccounted for.

This answers a third question after a night out 'What the hell
happened?'
With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the REMIT (Removal of
Embarrassing
Moments In Time) add-on, that automatically removes, in descending
order,
those parts in time regretted most. Unfortunately one person's REMIT
is
not necessarily the REMIT of another's and quite often lost time is
regained in discussions over a period of time.

Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles often cause the
Scooter's navigation system to malfunction thus sending passengers to
the
wrong bedroom, often with horrific consequences.

For the family man, Beer Scooters come equipped with flowers picked
from
other people's garden and Thump-A-Lot boots (Patent Pending). these
boots
are designed in such a way that no matter how quietly you tip-toe up
the
stairs, you are sure to wake up your other half. Special anti-gravity
springs ensure that you bump into every wall in the house and the
CTSGS
(Coffee Table Seeking Guidance System) explains the bruised shins.

The final add-on Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some Scooters is the
TA
(Tobacco Absorption System). This explains how one person can
apparently
get through 260 Marlboro Lights in a single night.

P.S. Don't forget the on-board heater, which allows you to comfortably
get
home from the pub in sub-zero temperatures, wearing just a T-shirt.

:beer
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Quote:
 
*BOINK*.....OW!............................Oh Hi Purity.....
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feralist-ssc-
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[ *  *  * ]
pmsl this explains a lot including the embarising moments :D :D :roflmao :roflmao :beer
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