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| Barman`s Revenge; Consequences | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 27 2004, 11:16 PM (86 Views) | |
| FOST | Jul 27 2004, 11:16 PM Post #1 |
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Fost of the Um Braged :D
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A group of lads go into a bar and order 10 whiskey`s and 10 Bitters .The Bartender offers to deliver the drinks to their table and when he do`s he says "That`ll be 5 cents" Somewhat surprised but very pleased at the low cost of the drinks the Lads order the same again for the same price. All evening the lads watch this Bartender serving all the customers in the bar and each time no matter how big the order is he only charges 5 cents .In the end curiosity gets the better of them and one of them go`s up to the bartender and asks "You do realise your only charging 5 cents for everything?" . The Bartender nods his head in agreement "Do you own this establishment?" To which the Bartender draws a long sad breath and says "NO I do not own this place I just work here every Night" "Then where is the Owner?" the perplexed man asked "Doing to my wife what I`m doing to his buisness" ******************************************************************* Three men approach the Pearly Gates and meet St Peter St Peter looks at the men then examines his list carefully .With a confused look on his face he turns to the 3 men and says that although their names are on the list they all appear to have arrived several years to early and asks each of the men to describe the nature of their death. The first man says" I got home early from work ,and the lift was out of order so I had to climb 15 flights of stairs to get to my apartment .When I got there I discovered that my wife had been having an affair and I`d just missed catching her Lover because the lift was out .I got so angry that I took her favourite piece of antique furniture ,the wardrobe with all her expensive clothes in and heaved it through the window .It was heavy and after the stairs the exursion was to much and I had a heart attack." St Peter shakes his head sadly at this tale but allows the man to enter the gates. He then asks the second man to relate the tale of his death.. the second man states " I was walking along the road when this flaming great victorian wardrobe landed on my head fracturing my skull..." Again St Peter is sadden by this tale and allows the man to pass .Turning to the last man St Peter asks him what happen "Well yer Holiness" the man began" You ain`t gonna believe this but I was hiding in a Wardrobe when......................" |
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| DazzaD | Jul 27 2004, 11:55 PM Post #2 |
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DazzaD
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| feralist-ssc- | Jul 28 2004, 11:38 AM Post #3 |
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Advanced Member
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| Go_PoD-SSC-- | Jul 28 2004, 11:52 AM Post #4 |
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It ^^^^is a snail...not a turd:)
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PMSL!
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| FOST | Jul 28 2004, 12:05 PM Post #5 |
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Fost of the Um Braged :D
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Follow up to the consequences bit ....and This is true A Drunk walking home from the pub in a nearby UK town to where I live saw a Jag ( not sure make or model) with a for sale sign in its windscreen in immaculate condition.Being Drunk and seeing lights were on in the house this fella knocks on the door to ask how much the car is . A woman answers the door ,asks the drunk how much money he has ,which is 20 quid ( not sure what Ozzie value is but around 48 tins of Fosters price) .the Women then sells him the Jag 4 20 quid gives him the registration documents etc but won`t give him the keys because he is Drunk and arranges for him to turn up at 9am following morning . Despite being worse 4 wear the bloke turn`s up following morning and is given the keys .when he questioned why the car was so cheap it turns out that the womens Husband had run off with his secretary given his wife the house and had told her to sell the car and send him the Money |
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12:45 AM Jul 12