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GV Foreign Report; Now with more promotions!
Topic Started: 17 Apr 2008, 20:48 (67 Views)
Kraut Killers
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Issue 6

Gatesville Stats
Founder: Gates the God
Regional UN Delegate: Nevadar
Gatesville Forum: Antiun.cjb.net
Gatesville Population: 813 Nations
Gatesville Power: Extremely High




From the Desk of the FA Advocate

Evening all, this will be my last update for a long while, due to the fact that I will be leaving soon due to the RL beast rearing it's ugly head (again!). As you can see I've given up using the term retiring, as I know full well that I'll be back eventually, so fret not. Moving swiftly onwards, in this issue you'll see St. Patricks Day in Gatesville (and West Gatesville), the great fall of the UN, and various goings on from your favourite anti-WA region! Enjoy!




A New Beginning..

And announcement from the HC of Gatesville on April 5th 2008

Great Nations,

Today marks a new dawn on the world as we know it. True enough the great beast has been slain, and freedom has returned to it's captives. The United Nations has finally been reduced to nothing. In the immortal words of Max Barry the UN "has spectacularly imploded in a colossal fireball of extra-dimensional inanity."

We, the great nations of Gatesville, have worked tirelessly for over 4 years for the betterment of our world, in opposition to this monster, however now we have won. While the U.N. of another world (the infamous "RL" world) may have been the ultimate cause of it's defeat, it has clearly been shown that our part in it's downfall has been so great, as to be worthy of a mention in the Nationstates News by Max Barry himself, a priveledge that no other region has received before.

We now stand with a new beginning. With the almost certain passing of the World Assembly resolution, we will begin again with a clean slate, and we the High Council of Gatesville will work once more to stop the corruption of this new organization, and should this happen, then once more we will stop at nothing to see it's downfall.

The fight goes on !!!
Hail Gatesville !!!

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Gatesville Hits It's Target




St. Patricks Day Festival

March 17th marked the first ever St. Patricks Day festival in Gatesville, comprising of a Festival Ball/Drinking area, a survivor contest, and several incriminating moments involving the High Council. Yes, things ran as smoothly as ever here in Gatesville!

The Survivor Contest was a new addition to the Gatesville repatoire, which involved the ejecting of nations from the region, "The Gatesville Tavern". This contest was met with such enthusiasm, that a second session has been organised and has already begun! The winner of the first contest, was none other than the Seneschal of Lazarus, Aisli!

We'd like to thank Dante, who organised the festival, and all those who partook from Gatesville, Equilism, Lazarus, Potchen..who made the festival that bit more enjoyable.

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Gatesville Goes Green for Paddy's Day Festival




Appreciation Weeks

Recently in Gatesville, two longtime well-respected members have been given their own weeks of appreciation for their tireless efforts in making the region what it is today. These are none other than Lady Warden, and Lady Nevadar. Gates the God had this to say:

Regarding Lady Warden
 
Not only does Lady Warden whip my butt and take my cash in poker she’s drank me under the table on several occasions. This is her week for the High Council and all Gatesvillians to have the chance to honor this magnificent lady. For over 4 years now she has worked daily and diligently recruiting nations to the glory of Gatesville, hundreds of hours spent for our region she is the best of us. Lady Warden is a member of The Gatesville Hall of Fame and our current Consiglieri to the High Council. When troubled times come upon us and tough decisions must be made I always seek her advice and guidance.


Regarding Lady Nevadar
 
In honor of our great Princess Nevadar celebrating her two years as our delegate I hear by declare this Nevadar week where we can all honor and pay tribute to our great gal. All portraits of me that grace the entrance of every public building in Gatesville will now be replaced by a painting of her during this celebration.

I shall comment first. The Princess is our heart and soul she’s lead us through trying times and victorious occasions. Its leaders like her that make our region so special and she is irreplaceable we are all blessed by her presence. When I have to make a major decision in regards to our region I contact her and LW for advice. I communicate with her often and we’ve helped each other when things go bad for either of us.


We in the Foreign Affairs Department, would like to extend our own thanks, and appreciation for the work and dedication that has inspired so many in Gatesville, and around Nationstates.

Posted ImagePosted Image
Lady Nevadar & Lady Warden




New High Council Appointments

With the resignation of Pope Lexus X and Accelerus, two new High Council members have been appointed, Kostemetsia has been appointed to the position of World Assembly Advocate, and Kraut Killers has been appointed to the position of Foreign Affairs Advocate.

Both members have shown extreme dedication during their time here, and the High Council was unanimous in it's decision to appoint them both. We here wish them both the best of luck in their new positions, and good luck to Kraut who'll have to write these reports!

Both former HC members have resigned due to RL circumstances which are keeping them from NS, however we wish them the best, and hope they return again someday.




An Interview with Intelligence

Hello readers this is PB and today we are Interviewing Loyal High Council Member; Intelligence Advocate, Twelvth Reich.

TR: Hi. [The Following Response Has Been Edited And Classified For Red Clearence Only]

PB: How Is life in the HC these days?
*TR looks over his shoulder several times and speaks quietly into his afro.*
TR: You know I can't answer that...

PB: Uh, right, right... Well then have you been doing anything new lately?
TR: Anything new is on a need to know basis.

PB: What about things you've done in the past?
TR: that stays classified until all involved are deceased.

PB: How about your favorite thing to drink these days?
TR: Now that I can answer. Drambuie on the rocks, there's a winner every time.
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PB: Who have you been spending time with lately? Any special ladies you've been sharing those drinks with?
TR: PB, I like you, so don't make me kill you for asking too much.

PB: Righto...
After scrapping half my questions i arrive at a gem...
PB: Where do you see yourself after The High Council? I mean, A Gatesvillian can go no higher. are you going to be in the High Council till the end of your days as all

TR: Actually Psyker, this old dog has been in the High Council for two years now and is running out of tricks. There's a few bright young sparks that I'm training for the day, soon coming, that one of them will fill my position. Citizens of Gatesville can rest easy, knowing that their safety is in good hands.

PB: Haha, you mean not yours?!
TR: Didn't I just say i didn't want to kill you Psyker?

PB: Right, so who are the young bloods that you're grooming for your current position.
TR: Does it matter? *TR adjust his fro for better reception* Once they do become the Intelligence Advocate not only withll their Identities be erased but their memories as well, they will have to be reconditioned under the scrutiny of the High Council and the Minister of Propaganda and Paranoia during their retraining and that would be you...
PB: Why thank you for your con...
TR: Shut up, I wasn't finished. After several years, they should be a finely tuned instrument to wield upon the enemies of sovereignty. You may speak once more.

PB: While I'm still a 'citizen' I think we'd better stop since we've learned too much about our Intelligence Advocate, Further more, I advise anyone finishing this article to deny ever have reading it.

Gazette Special Bulletin

Applications are now being taking for a new Media Advocate after an unforseen knife in the back, sandwich, yes that's right, he choked on a sandwich. Pysker Bearzerkers, who has been with Gatesville since the franchise days, will be paraded through Gatesville as part of the "A Lesson for All" float in this years St. Patrick's Day Festival.

~The Gatesville High Council~




The Comedy Stylings of Gorillapigs

I would have made a "Best Quote" section, but GP has made so many, that he now gets his own section here. Here are the best:

Quote:
 
I have another problem and I really need advice on what could be a crucial
decision. I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs ... Phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them".
I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has got out of the car round the corner. Why! maybe she wasn't in a taxi? I once picked her mobile phone up just to see what time it was. She went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I was going to park my 2006 Yamaha R1 motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my Yamaha R1, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?


Quote:
 
Talking of driving, I was on my way to the airport this morning on the AP7 motorway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 90 miles per hour with her face up close to the mirror putting on her eyeliner!!!! Shocked, I looked away for a couple of seconds and when I looked back she was still putting on the makeup but drifting halfway into my lane!! It scared me so much that I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the bacon roll out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten up the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile from my ear, which fell into the coffee between my
legs, causing it to splash and burn BIG JIM AND THE TWINS, causing me to scream,
which made me drop the cigarette out of my mouth, ruined my shirt and DISCONNECTED AN IMPORTANT CALL.
Bl**dy Women Drivers!!!!!!!





Foreign Affair News

It is with great pleasure that I announce the opening of embassies with; La Mafia, The Black Hawks, The Last Kingdom, and Tokugawa Japan! We look forward to getting to know these very distinguished regions as soon as possible!

It is also with great sadness that I announced the closure of our embassy with Taijitu, due to their own demands, and of our embassy in the NS Public Embassies forum. Last month I expressed my enthusiasm of this organisation, however it became apparent that the NSPE was being used as a breeding grounds to gather allies against Gatesville. The forum however is run by a neutral host, Romenoch, and I still encourage other regions to use this service, but not to abuse it as others clearly have.




Extras..

-The PD has been dealing round the clock with more spammers than usual, and this last while has even seen one banjection by Gates of the nation, Nationaltopia.

-The Order of the Gryphons has been re-opened in Gatesville, with a new Chapter Master, Pope Lexus X, two new applicants, Kostemetsia & Anti-Pope, and the return of an old knight, Thorncraftland.

-West Gatesville April fool's day prank leaves many Gatesvillians clinging onto painkillers in new parts of the world.

This edition of the Gatesville Foreign Report was brought to you by Pope Lexus X, with thanks to Kraut Killers, Kostemensia, Pysker Bearzerkers, Twelvth Reich & Dante.
You stay classy Nationstates.
Gatesville's WA Delegate
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Kraut Killers
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And with that, I would like to reintroduce myself as Gatesville's new Foreign Affairs Advocate. Since I am the conduit between you fine folk and the rest of Gatesville, you may direct your questions at me and I'll handle it from there.
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Numero Capitan
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Congratulations, I'm sure Lex has given you a tough act to follow!
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Neasmyrna
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Thanks for the update!
The bestest guy you ever new about!!!

&

The founder of 00000 A World Power! %mh%-91436%mh%
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Kraut Killers
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He sure is. It seems like everybody knows Pope in some way. Luckily he left me a nice, clean, easy to run department. :lol:
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Numero Capitan
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Well thats bound to happen if you try to be a committed Defender/Invader/Neutral

And chuck in being a member of Gatesville and everyones confused :P

Nah, Lex is lovely
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Kraut Killers
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Yeah, we all told him to hurry up and get back. GV just isn't the same when Pope isn't around.
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