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Funniest joke in the world; seriously....
Topic Started: Dec 30 2010, 02:24 PM (195 Views)
[ANWA]dad2
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Funniest Joke in the World:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services.

He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"

Runner Up:

PATIENT: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."
DOCTOR: "I've got some cream for that."

Another Runner Up:

A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter?' But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life."

Still Another Runner Up:

A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man."

The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

One More Runner Up:

TEXAN: "Where are you from?"
HARVARD GRAD: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions."
TEXAN: "OK - where are you from, jackass?"

And Still Another Runner Up:

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

Amazing - Another Runner Up:

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 degrees Celsius. The Russians used a pencil.

Last Runner Up:

A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price." The dog replied, "But that would make no sense at all!"


=========================================================================================
From http://www.funny2.com/funniest.htm


cheers
dad2


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ANWA-IlluSion
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Super Saiyan
Haha nice dad2 my favourte is the golf one, reminds me of some of my family, crazy golf fanatics and would rather play it over anything.
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A computer once beat me in chess, but it was no match for me in kick boxing.
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:rofl: I liked the NASA 1 the best its so true you can say what you like but the russians are not as stupid as the americans crud what a waste of money :rofl:
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ANWA-Slayer
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Lt. General
They're all so funny. :rofl:
Some I don't get though but I think the woman on the bs is the funniest one. :rofl:
PSN: Spaz_AttackzZ/ANWA-SLaYeRz
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Luminal
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No-Life
These were really good. I was cracking up reading most of them!

Also with that NASA one...it shows money doesn't buy sense!
Edited by Luminal, Dec 30 2010, 07:03 PM.
ANWA*LUMINAL - "I speak my mind..sometimes you may not like what my mind has to say!"
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Not just bright...I'm Luminal!
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ANWA-LostBrink
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1st Lieutenant
NASA one was my favourite one too!

Good ol' Russians haha.
UNCHARTED 3, MODERN WARFARE 3, BATTLEFIELD 3 - END OF GAMING 3 ERA
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But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear ; do not be frightened."
Take Courage



1 Peter 3:14

ANWA-LostBrink
Now you know..
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Deleted User
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hahahahaa I love the golf one.
I started laughing so hard at the russian on too.
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