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What to say to telemarketers....; some helpful advice from dad2
Topic Started: Dec 30 2010, 02:22 PM (224 Views)
[ANWA]dad2
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General

If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you sure could use some money.

If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Alternately, you can tell them, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, and my dog just died" when they try to get to the sale, just keep talking about your problems.

If they say they're John Doe from XYZ company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

This works great if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ company" You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

Cry out in surprise, "Judy, IS that you? Oh my God, Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.

Say "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

If MCI or AT&T calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply in as sinister a voice as you can. "I don't have any friends. Would you be my friend?"

If the company cleans carpets, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"

After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him / her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

Tell the telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often can't sell to employees.

Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream, "Oh my God!" Then hang up.

Tell the telemarketer that you are busy at the moment and ask them to give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When they explain that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Hang up.

Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

Tell the telemarketer you are "grounded" and ask if they could bring you some beer.

Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "C'mon Leon, cut it out! Seriously Leon, how's your mom?"

If they are selling magazines, ask them if they come in Braille.

Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD DOWN.
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From http://www.funny2.com/telemarketers.htm


cheers
dad2


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ANWA-Slayer
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Lt. General
Haha funny as. Those telemarketers and the advertisers that knock in your door can be really annoying. Another one is you could act that you don't understand English and speak crap English.
PSN: Spaz_AttackzZ/ANWA-SLaYeRz
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ANWA-IlluSion
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Hahaha those are good just with telemarketers the objective is to try and get off the phone to them as soon as possible! However I do like the home phone number one thats good.
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A computer once beat me in chess, but it was no match for me in kick boxing.
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ANWA-RICHO
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Super Saiyan
Lolz thanks for this funny as stuff mate;) it's always so awkward when one of them rings up and I say that I'm busy
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Deleted User
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looool my dad tells them after a while would you liek to sleep with ym wife? NO why not do you think shes ugly? DO YOU?


ah its so funny when they ring up I simply tell them to f**k off
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Luminal
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No-Life
I freaking hate telemarketers and they always catch you at the worse possible time. Some of my friends plain hang up on them. Some of these ideas I may just try for a laugh. I once offered an Indian based call center person a overnight stay at my house so she could personally see that I had shit reception on my mobile phone..lol!
ANWA*LUMINAL - "I speak my mind..sometimes you may not like what my mind has to say!"
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Not just bright...I'm Luminal!
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ANWA-LostBrink
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1st Lieutenant
LOL such ideas. Personally im willing to go with the 'Stop playing with me, mate, hows your mum' one haha.

But yeh I usually just say 'Uh sorry I'm busy *click...[beep beep beep beep..]'.
UNCHARTED 3, MODERN WARFARE 3, BATTLEFIELD 3 - END OF GAMING 3 ERA
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But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear ; do not be frightened."
Take Courage



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ANWA-LostBrink
Now you know..
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Deleted User
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lol this was great

I personally just go hello and hang up or not say anything :P
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Deleted User
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The last time a telemarketer rang me I screamed into the phone with the blender going in the background "City Morgue you kill em we chill em" I got hung up on :rofl: :okay: :lol:
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Deleted User
Deleted User

LOL last time I had a telemarketer called I basically said that he was an imposter and I was the real guy XD

now that was fun the guy cracked it and went to get his manager so I hung up :rofl:

I expected a call back but it never happened :lol:
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ANWA-Radar
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Major General
I personaly just like trying to sell them things. Last time it was the pool table we never use, before that it was the old fridge, time before that it was some ficticious broadband plan I decided to come up with. It was totaly worth it though because every time I am ever called by them I always seem to be around friends, its hilarious. Especialy with loudspeaker on. Brightens the mood :D
ANWA-Radar
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Yeah, my squadplay attitude is over 100%, thats just how great I am, over 100% great.
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ANWA~CALDOGZ
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MAN OF STEEL
What if its an Indian? I fucking hate indians saying, "vould u like to shave 2 dolla on your phone bill"
I put on on an indian accent and go shutup I kill you
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Deleted User
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Well my misses came up with a new one just tell them that your with the Do Not Call Register (it pays to join up with them) it works. You ask for their name and business number at that point they usually say sorry and hang up.
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