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Happy birthday...; ...but read my letter.
Topic Started: May 12 2011, 10:25:44 AM (474 Views)
BIX
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Boner-fide Bonza Bloke

Our boys are 25 and 23 today. :)

They received a birthday card from the MIL and inside is a letter for us all which is full of doom and flippin gloom. Everyone she knows is dying, no-one over there contacts or speaks to her, no-one likes her.....blah de blah. She has a partner and they are lucky to be very active and do loads of stuff but the thing that still galls her is us emigrating.

When we were in the visa process she refused to accept or even discuss it so Gill had no support or sounding board at that time and when we left she said to her "you are no daughter of mine anymore" :( Born I am sure from her matriarchal tendencies and of course we were killing that control.

Easily forgotten were the times when Gill supported her 24 hours a day through 5 years of ME, the 3 years her father was in and out of hospital before passing and the very long 2 years of home care when her husband died a slow death of a dementia type illness. Where was her other daughter then? Of course, she lived 2 miles away so couldn't help. :whistle:

Anyway things got better over time but it appears she is now back at square one judging by the cutting comments in her letter. She even referred to a recent conversation I had with the SIL when I confirmed we had no intention of returning to England and because of that she was going to redo her will. Is that trying to blackmail us or something? Sorry, it isn't going to work. (I don't discuss it with Gill to avoid more upset but it is probably her sister turning the knife. Her hubby is a gold digger and she does anything he tells her)

Gill said she would write to her mother pointing out some home truths but I am trying to cool the waters and telling her it's not worth it and to let it wash.









Edited by BIX, May 12 2011, 10:28:08 AM.
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Hevs
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Miraculous Mamma Mod

Blimey :crazy:

Well, ermm, happy birthday to your boys :whistle:

I think you should let Gill do exactly what she needs to do, its her Mum and only she knows how she feels about it :yes:
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catgirl
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Courageous Cuddly Kitty

my neighbour moved to Adelaide end of last year and got the same treatment from her parents, as soon as they told the family they were emigrating the parents started on them and basically told them as far as they were concerned that was it and cut them off. I have no idea if they made it up to them before they left as sadly we never got to say goodbye (they are not direct neigbours, the end of their garden backed onto the side of mine, so was over the fence chat). They were nice people and it was gutting for them to have the family treat them like this.

Hope the boys had a lovely day
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rjs
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Richly Joyful Sylph

Happy Birthday to your boys :thumbsup:
Had the will thing tried on me ,i just kept it cheery & cut her down to size by pointing out it really didnt matter because i had far more to leave my children than she did :crazy: Funnily it didnt get mentioned again :whistle:
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moneypen20
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Bond's Beaut Bombshell

Happy birthday Baby Bixes. I'd let her write it, she could well decide not to send it but just writing it could make her feel a great deal better. And if she does, what will be lost, Gill's already been treated like dirt by them, won't make any difference.

I hate flipping families! :no:
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Tiredwithtwins
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Admin

happy birthday to your boys :thumbsup:

let her write the letter - its very cathartic ... and if she decides to send it, even better!! sometimes, relatives cant see the wood for the trees :no:

:flowers:
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BIX
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Boner-fide Bonza Bloke

We had a good talk about it yesterday.

Gill is in fact writing different things down as they come to her but hasn't decided whether she will actually put it in a letter or not.

After your advice I've relinquished the peacemaker role.

I'm leaving it to her to decide on what she wants to do and told her she has my support either way.

Thanks everyone. :)
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Bridiej
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Chattermonster Extraordinaire!

Sometimes it helps to just write it down and see it in black and white, without having to send it.

TBH I get fed up of people using emotional blackmail on other people - we're all free in this life to choose what we want for our families and no-one has the right to say otherwise.

Having just cut the cord with a member of my immediate family I have to say I feel a huge amount of relief that I don't have to deal with their crap anymore :)
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Hevs
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Miraculous Mamma Mod

See Bixie, we talk sense us lot....sometimes :whistle:

:hug: to Bridie x
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Bridiej
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Chattermonster Extraordinaire!

Aaah thanks Hevs :)
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Keith&Lol
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Emerald (Special Member)
Ditto big :hug: all round







Happy Birthday to the little Bixies x
Edited by Keith&Lol, May 15 2011, 01:18:24 PM.
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ohippy
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Original Opulent Optimist

If only you could pick your family eh Bix ? Personally I don't rate any of my in laws at all, luckily they don't bother sending my kids cards let alone 'those' letters. Still, it all helps to make sure you're a very different parent to your kids :hug:
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