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feeling blue; -my youngest
Topic Started: Feb 26 2007, 09:43:06 PM (354 Views)
BIX
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Boner-fide Bonza Bloke

catgirl
27th February, 2007 - 09:53pm
thanks anne - some really good ideas there - may try the note/letter to him


That Annigran does surprise me at times. :wink:
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Maggiemay
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Garnet (Regular Member)
Bordy
27th February, 2007 - 01:49pm
I'm hopeless with this kind of thing. A stuttering idiot would be about right, don't know what to say or do to try & comfort anyone.

I can't imagine what those boys are going through but I'm in awe of how they handle it & of course come through it like Hevs.

We all have little crisis in our lives, I just thank God Ive never had to deal with anything as big as that, God knows I'd be useless.


Me to Bordy, but we think deeply.


CG, I think about you and your family lots, :flowers:
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Lynnj
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GranAnne4PaTerry
27th February, 2007 - 05:10pm


Ok, thinking on my feet here while I've been typing. Perhaps you could make up a scrapbook of stories that happened to you as a couple and as a family. Add photos and leave it as a reference somewhere for the boys to go to when they are feeling sad or if they fancy a laugh or, as the years go by, when they get to the stage where they might panic that they are beginning to forget exactly what dad was like.

Photos can be very painful, but it is not a pain that can't be eased over time until the photos become a door to happy memories.

thats the same thought i had anne...... cg its maybe something you and the boys could do together when the time seems right.

It must be so hard to see your boys so sad especially on top of your own grief and i wish i could say something to help, sorry i'm not much good at that, so i'll just say i'm thinking of you and have one of these :hug:
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catgirl
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Courageous Cuddly Kitty

i spoke with the school physc yesterday and she doesn't think i should push luke into speaking to me - well okay that's fine, but I am worried about him and i think thet note idea is a good one. hes pretty sensitive and very mature for his age - something he has proved to me since Paul died and even more so when I found out how he had dealt with the police that day, how he looked after Jordan too.

Jordan had a good old cry last night in bed and told me his version of the events that day - it was horrible to hear but i'm so glad that he told me.

thanks for thinking of us
xxxxxx
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BIX
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Boner-fide Bonza Bloke

catgirl
1st March, 2007 - 10:14pm


Jordan had a good old cry last night in bed and told me his version of the events that day - it was horrible to hear but i'm so glad that he told me.



That was difficult for you both Debs.

But however hard it was it's something I feel will be good for you both.
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Snappy
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Sexy Sizzling Schmoozer

catgirl
1st March, 2007 - 10:14pm
i spoke with the school physc yesterday and she doesn't think i should push luke into speaking to me - well okay that's fine, but I am worried about him and i think thet note idea is a good one. hes pretty sensitive and very mature for his age - something he has proved to me since Paul died and even more so when I found out how he had dealt with the police that day, how he looked after Jordan too.

Jordan had a good old cry last night in bed and told me his version of the events that day - it was horrible to hear but i'm so glad that he told me.

thanks for thinking of us
xxxxxx

Even though they are dealing with everything differently both your boys sound like great kids you must be so proud of them both.

As Bix said it must of been hard to hear everything Jordan had to say.

:flowers:
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catgirl
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Courageous Cuddly Kitty

it was hard, even though i'd been through it all with the police it was different to hear it come out of my son's mouth
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Snappy
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Sexy Sizzling Schmoozer

You must of hugged him so hard after hearing his take on it all :( here's one especially for you :hug:
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TopCat3
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Tantalisingly Opulent Pussy, Caring And Thoughtful

Oh Catgirl. I don't know what to say.
I do keep thinking of you all. (God that was a useless thing to say - see what I mean?)
:kissed: :kissed: :kissed: to all of you.

The pressure on your eldest to "be the man of the house" must be huge. He perhaps is feeling pressure on the inside from the bottling up, plus pressure he is putting on himself not to "look weak" and to be there for his little brother to look up to, plus any perceived pressure he is seeing or imagining from the outside to "open up and let it out". This must be hell for you watching this and dealing with your own emotions and those of your youngest too.

Is your eldest into art or music or anything creative where he can express it in some other way than verbal or tears? What about putting him in charge of a project to commemorate his Dad in some way? You know, collecting the materials, assembling them, making the phone calls to order them - whatever. I don't know, just something practical and important for him to focus on and sublimate all that pent up emotion?

Sorry if I'm blathering. :(

TC :flowers:
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gobbyjock
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CG, I really want to reply to this and be able to give you some words of wisdom but I can`t - I think the wise old lot on here already have it covered. All I can do is give you a vitual hug and :flowers: :)
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Anne
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Wonderful Winsome Wench

gobbyjock
1st March, 2007 - 11:29pm
I think the wise old lot on here already have it covered.

Just cos I'm a granny, stop calling me "old" :P


Not being insensitive to your thread Debs, I know you like a joke as well as anyone. I think you are doing a great job with the boys and they are doing a great job in return with you.


There was a load more stuff I put, then deleted it because it just didn't come out right and I didn't want you taking it the wrong way. I'll wait til I say you and say it face to face. :kiss: :kissed:
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catgirl
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Courageous Cuddly Kitty

hae to say that the last few days have been ok. I went to a dance lesson today LOL - no co-ordination), then went to the coffee morning -which was good for me and i'm glad that i went.

the boys are also looking forward to going back to the uk for a holiday too - i'm sure that this will do us all the world of good. I keep thinking the UK is the place to be for us then I think oh to hell with it we love it here - i just don't know - maybe a few months down the line we will know for sure.

xxxx
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Lynnj
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catgirl
7th March, 2007 - 05:26pm
hae to say that the last few days have been ok. I went to a dance lesson today LOL - no co-ordination), then went to the coffee morning -which was good for me and i'm glad that i went.

the boys are also looking forward to going back to the uk for a holiday too - i'm sure that this will do us all the world of good. I keep thinking the UK is the place to be for us then I think oh to hell with it we love it here - i just don't know - maybe a few months down the line we will know for sure.

xxxx

Glad to hear you've had a good day (even if your co-ordination is crap :wink: ). Don't think about where you're future lies too much, it's still very early days. You'll wake up one morning and just know whats right, till then you can work on your dancing :wink:

Lynn
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catgirl
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Courageous Cuddly Kitty

i love to dance, but when you're being taught steps - blimey its hard
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Lynnj
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catgirl
7th March, 2007 - 05:35pm
i love to dance, but when you're being taught steps - blimey its hard

Its much easier when you're peeed as a fart and standing on a table :whistle: :whistle: not of course that i've ever done that :wink: but then you'd get funny looks turning up peeed on a wednesday morning so it's probably not a good idea
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Snappy
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Sexy Sizzling Schmoozer

catgirl
7th March, 2007 - 05:26pm
hae to say that the last few days have been ok. I went to a dance lesson today LOL - no co-ordination), then went to the coffee morning -which was good for me and i'm glad that i went.

the boys are also looking forward to going back to the uk for a holiday too - i'm sure that this will do us all the world of good. I keep thinking the UK is the place to be for us then I think oh to hell with it we love it here - i just don't know - maybe a few months down the line we will know for sure.

xxxx

When are you going over to the UK? Like Lynn has said just bide your time and see how you feel later on. :wink:

Not sure about the dancing on the tables thing as I would never do that :whistle:
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Ellie


Glad to see your getting out for a laugh, Debbie. You need that as well as a cry. Your littlie will stay in your bed for quite a while but will eventually return to his own. I think that you will find as you get back to " normal" your older boy will open up much more. You may not think it just now but you will all start to smile and laugh again - even laughing at the stupid things your husband did. Please remember what I said before - take your time deciding where you want to be. You decide in your own good time where the right place is for you and your boys. Don't be pressured by anyone. Thinking of you. Eleanor
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catgirl
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Courageous Cuddly Kitty

Lynnj
7th March, 2007 - 04:45pm
Its much easier when you're peeed as a fart and standing on a table :whistle: :whistle: not of course that i've ever done that :wink: but then you'd get funny looks turning up peeed on a wednesday morning so it's probably not a good idea

actually i did think she'd have been better teaching us with a pole to hold on to :whistle:


i like to dance with a drink in my hand :whistle:
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catgirl
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Courageous Cuddly Kitty

Snappy
7th March, 2007 - 05:07pm
catgirl
7th March, 2007 - 05:26pm
hae to say that the last few days have been ok. I went to a dance lesson today LOL - no co-ordination), then went to the coffee morning -which was good for me and i'm glad that i went.

the boys are also looking forward to going back to the uk for a holiday too - i'm sure that this will do us all the world of good. I keep thinking the UK is the place to be for us then I think oh to hell with it we love it here - i just don't know - maybe a few months down the line we will know for sure.

xxxx

When are you going over to the UK? Like Lynn has said just bide your time and see how you feel later on. :wink:

Not sure about the dancing on the tables thing as I would never do that :whistle:

we leave here on the 22nd march
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catgirl
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Courageous Cuddly Kitty

Ellie
7th March, 2007 - 06:41pm
Glad to see your getting out for a laugh, Debbie. You need that as well as a cry. Your littlie will stay in your bed for quite a while but will eventually return to his own. I think that you will find as you get back to " normal" your older boy will open up much more. You may not think it just now but you will all start to smile and laugh again - even laughing at the stupid things your husband did. Please remember what I said before - take your time deciding where you want to be. You decide in your own good time where the right place is for you and your boys. Don't be pressured by anyone. Thinking of you. Eleanor

i know, every day it changes - but one day i will come to make the right choice :yes:
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